Sunshine over the fading embers

Von woke up in a wagon. He opened his eyes only for them to be hit with the blinding sunlight, the scent of wood and fresh air hit his nostrils, this was a relief from the oppressive smoke and mud from the battle.

He tried moving his arm to cover his face only for extreme pain to overcome him. Jochen, who was in the same wagon gently grabbed his arm and put it to his side and proceeded to use his own face to cover Von from the sun.

"Finally you woke up, I was afraid you wouldn't" Jochen smiled faintly

"What happened?" Von asked "I was about to kill him and then.."

"You lost Von" Jochen said flatly, his face was one of defeat "You were lucky Lieutenant Riege was there otherwise you'd be..."

"Dead" Von finished first, his eyebrows frowning.

Von slightly raised his head. They were all moving, the camp had clearly been destroyed so they were moving somewhere far away to set up a new one. All the soldiers were either walking or in horse-pulled wagons. A lot of them were injured, and he could see they were way less than before. Still what most worried him..

"Where 's Miek?" Von asked worried

"He's in another wagon" Jochen explained "Riege saved us as well, all thanks to the fact that he was looking for you" "So I guess he saved us thanks to you" Jochen laughed lightly but slowly descended to a gloomy sigh.

Von laid back again, he failed. If it hadn't been for Riege he would have been killed, he slowed down and would have stopped. He had done everything right and yet he had still failed. The knowledge of this made Von's blood boil and caused shivers in his entire body, if he wasn't strong enough to defeat a simple captain ¿How could he expect to accomplish anything else?

He asked Jochen what happened after he was knocked out, Jochen explained how Riege had won, how the defence had managed to hold long enough for Riege to go back. Apparently he had taken the captains head with him, the enemy upon seeing it had its moral destroyed.

If their most powerful soldier had been defeated what would become of them?. Sure enough they were defeated but victory had come at a heavy price, out of the six hundred men the regiment had almost a hundred and fifty had perished.

"We won, but at what cost? When are we gonna go back home? I wanna go home!!" Jochen started whispering and slowly rose to almost a yell.

"Calm down!" Von slightly raised his voice "You are not a child anymore, you are a soldier. Behave like one"

"Calm down huh?" Jochen suddenly left out a chuckle "I'm sorry, I guess that fear is something soulbinders don't aren't born with"

"I never said.." Von tried reasoning, but Jochen got more and more agitated

"You think you are better than us?!! That because you can shoot fire or be stronger you can say what I can and can't do?!" Jochen now shouted, everyone started looking towards their wagon

"Markus was killed in front of you!! Miek lost a fucking eye !! You almost died and yet you expect yourself and me to behave like the same people we are fighting, monsters!!" Jochen was now standing looming over Von yelling at his face.

Von's face changed, his calm demeanor disappeared. Tears started to flow through his face, Jochen now backed away realizing what he had done.

"You think I don't care?" Von said softly

"Markus's death; Miek's eye. They happened because of me!!.. Because I failed to protect them when they needed me!!"

"Von.." Jochen lamented

"I'm sorry Jochen, I failed but I can't change what happened, crying and yelling won't change that!" Von raised his voice once again

Both soldiers were told off by their superiors. Von and Jochen cried softly in the wagon, not talking or looking at each other. Both understood each other but they needed their own time to grieve their losses and personal defeat.

Riege approached Lieutenant Groman. He was completely bandaged on his right side and Groman had lost a great part of his left arm, from his hand till his elbow. Luckily Riege had sealed to a close by burning it, preventing any major blood loss. They both walked next to each other silently for a while.

"We are going home aren't we?" Riege asked Groman as he looked slightly towards the sunny clear sky

"Indeed, the 34th regiment returns home victorious" Groman replied "or at least that is what I'd like to say"

"Well, at least we are going back" Riege comforted

"Yes we are, but..." Groman began looking towards the ground deep in thought

"But what?" Riege asked

"Nothing.. How's your side?" Groman said changing the subject

"Better than your arm" Riege chuckled

"I guess you're right" Groman mumbled "You saved what's left that's the only reason I'm letting this pass" he let a small smile. Despite their quarrels and prejudices Riege had delivered as a soldier not only had he saved Von but the rest of the regiment by killing their captain.

"When?" Riege inquired

"Two weeks until the reinforcements arrive. That's what the messenger said, after they find our camp they'll continue thanks to the message I left for them, once we help them set up we'll go home" He explained

"Finally."

Von spent a long while sniffling and wiping his tears off, while some may consider him a coward for that, truth is crying felt great. He wiped his face with the blanket that had been provided for him and sat down in the slow moving wagon. Jochen was just staring at the surrounding forests in silence.

"I couldn't do anything" Von whispered, Jochen turned towards him "Markus was killed right in front of me and all my training and experience was useless"

"It was a surprise attack Von, no one could have done anything, not even Riege or Groman"

Jochen argued, while he was right the guilt of being useless was still deeply embedded in Von's core

"But I'm a soulbinder.." Von tried replying

"And human Von, human nonetheless" Jochen finished the argument with slow and almost noiseless words.

"I won't fail next time" Von asserted as sat down next to Jochen "Never again"

"Never again."