Chapter 26

"I'm the same age as your brother would have been. He would be 27 now. Would you want him to see you like this knowing what he also went through as a child?" Renee asked as she put her hand on his arm.

Jesse looked at her hand on his arm and thought about what she had just said. His anger wasn't towards her. It was towards Kevin, but he couldn't take his anger out on that bastard, so, he had taken it out on her by extension. If he hurt her, then he could hurt Kevin. But, Kevin didn't know about any of it. So, what he was actually doing was just hurting her and putting her into the same life his own mother had. The difference was that Renee truly cared about her son. She loved him and gave everything of herself to him whereas his mother could have cared less about her two children. And Billy would have been upset at him for treating his woman this way as Billy had never treated a woman badly.

The last girlfriend he had left him. Not because he was cruel to her or hit her, but because he was too clingy. Billy had always been worried that he wasn't good enough for anyone. Being that clingy posed a problem for a lot of people simply because they don't like it. Billy had always shown up where Clarissa was at, but not to stalk her. He simply wanted her back. His jealousy had won out in the end and he had picked a fight with Kevin. Jesse closed his eyes as he thought of that night. Yes, Billy had been wrong, but Kevin had always acted like Billy was psychotic. Jesse couldn't find it in himself to believe his sweet baby brother would ever kill someone. He had never done anything like that before.

Jesse tensed as he felt Renee's arms slip around him. It took him by surprise as she never touched him, let alone hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her and took a deep breath. He felt her fingertips run across his cheek and he realized he had been crying. She was wiping away his tears. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She looked confused and was frowning.

Renee was shocked to see Jesse crying. He was always so tough around her even when he told her that he loved her. She had never expected to see him cry. Talking about his brother really hit him hard. She wasn't sure if she should console him or walk away, but she felt the urge to hug him and make him feel better. She wasn't sure why she felt like she should comfort him after all of the things he had done to her, but she did. She wiped the tears from his face as he looked at her. She hated him, but she had never seen this part of him. He was just like any other normal person with emotions. She found it shocking to think he actually had real emotions, but here they were.

Jesse pulled her against him and she laid her head on his chest. He inhaled her scent and felt his anger and tension slip away. Could this woman actually change him? He wanted her and had for a long time, but she didn't want him. If he could get rid of his anger, could she finally come to care for him? He had never talked to anyone about his past, but here she was drawing it out of him without even trying.

Renee listened to Jesse's heartbeat. It was starting to beat faster and faster. His body was no longer tense like he was going to hit her, but why was his heart beating so fast? It was almost like he was scared of something. She went to pull back but Jesse's arms tightened around her. She didn't feel threatened and was surprised that she didn't tense up. She let him hold her until he finally pulled back on his own due to Christian crying. He lightly kissed her lips and let her go.

Confusion had set in Renee's heart. She had been feeling like she was dead inside for so long that she didn't know how to take what she was feeling now. She took care of Christian while her mind raced. What had really just happened between her and Jesse? He had really opened up just now even if it was initially out of anger. He had said he didn't know what a true relationship was. She believed that completely. But, could he actually change and improve who he was at his age? Most people developed as a person in their teens and usually didn't change from that point on.

Once she finished changing Christian, she came back out to the living room. Jesse was sitting on the couch, leaned over with his elbows on his knees. He looked deep in thought so she left him alone. She could feel him staring at her and Christian and she couldn't help but wonder what he was going to do next. When he suddenly stood up, she tensed, waiting for him to do something to her. Instead, he took Christian out of her lap. He stood her up and kissed her while holding Christian on his hip. Christian put his hands on their faces and Renee smiled at him as Jesse broke the kiss.

Jesse was really happy to see that smile on Renee's face. He hadn't seen it in a long time, not even when she looked at Christian. She hadn't tensed up when he had kissed her and it made him feel good. He was going to go ahead with his surprise for her. He wasn't sure if she would like it or not after everything she had just said, but he was going to try.

"I've been talking to someone about watching Christian. She's agreed to watch him tonight. We are going to go to the store first and get some things," Jesse said.

"Um, okay. I'll go get Christian's bag," Renee said as she walked into the bedroom.

Renee was feeling even more confused now. After everything that was just said, Jesse was still going ahead with his surprise. And he was getting someone to babysit Christian. She wasn't sure how she felt about leaving her son with someone she didn't know. She also felt something about him talking to some other woman behind her back. She wasn't sure what emotion it was and didn't want to dive into an analysis of it. He could be with whoever he wanted. Maybe it would save her from him if he found someone else.