Chapter 3 - Loss

Emilia did not sleep.

She did not sleep on the ride back.

She did not sleep, tucked in an empty bed.

Staring at the blank walls, the hallow inside expanded.

Why won't the ache go away?

She sniffles, the tears clouding her eyes. A sob wracks free, a soul sucking, suffocating, overwhelming thing. She curls in, bringing her knees to her chest.

For hours, and hours, and hours, until the light peeked in the room, she screamed. She could not stop. It was the only thing she had. And when her voice died, rugged, she whimpered, her pillow catching the sounds.

Her chest felt tight and heavy.

She did not move. Not once.

The knocking at the door was constant.

Emilia ignored it.

Her baby was gone, her angel, her heart, her soul; taken.

Suddenly, she jumped off the bed, destroying the room. She ripped and threw and smashed, so her room could resemble even a bit of her pain.

Eyes puffy, exhausted, yet, still they cried.

Emilia screamed again, voice scratchy, wrecked.

Why her child? Why not her? If there is a god, won't he strike her down but bring her child back?

She will do anything, anything. Just to have him back.

Emilia blinks, one moment the room is empty, the next there is a shadow over her.

"Cassius?!"

It is only Nicolas. grim faced, dark eyed Nicolas.

"Come on, sweetheart. You won't do anyone any good if you're in this state. I've drawn a bath for you. Wash, eat, and then we go find Cassy," he's voice is gentle, yet firm.

Emilia follows his directions.

"Your hands! Em, what have you done to your hands?"

Emilia looks down, gasping at the sight of her hands, stained with blood.

"I didn't...I don't..." she hesitates. blinking slowly.

She sees the pity in his eyes, another day Emilia would have cared, now she feels that horrible feeling in her chest twist an invisible knife.

"I've taken care of everything. The police has been alerted and they deployed man force to search the city."

"The police? What can they do? I should stay home and wait for them to bring me back a corpse?"

"Please Emilia, think of Cassius. I employed a private search team, they'll bring our boy back."

"When?"

He leads her to a chair, kneeling by her feet.

"When Nicolas?"

He guides a cup to her lips. Emilia smacks it away.

"You can't answer. Then, can you tell, will my baby suffer?"

He looks down.

"I have to speak with him. An exchange..."

"Don't be rash. You will fall straight in his trap. Remember, that night he sent a woman to kidnap you, while he personally went to get Cassius. Would it not make more sense for him to send the woman after a small defenseless child. He's primary target, it was always Cassius."

"Then what should I do?" Emilia screams, clenching her fists in his suit jacket.

"Stay safe. Don't let him get you, it's our only advantage."

The days blur together, she doesn't keep track of them. Emilia can barely get out of bed on a good day; on her worst, she will not move for days.

She glances in the mirror, on the way back from the toilet. Emilia cannot recognize the woman staring back, hallowed cheeks, dark eyes and pallid, yellow face. She lost weight.

Naomi, her rock, is still sunken at the bottom of the Ocean, fighting for her life. She's losing everything she built.

The jingle of keys lets her know that Nicolas has come again. He's footsteps are hurried, just like that first day he came.

"Em, good news! Naomi is awake!"

Emilia smiles tiredly, tilting her head away from the window.

The pity in his eyes chokes her.

She turns back to the window.

Something interesting catches her attention. A police car parks in their drive way. The detective on her case steps out.

Emilia shoots off the chair and runs to the door, tripping in her haste. She opens the door before he can even knock.

The man is tall and rigid, with a sharp, honest tongue.

"My son? You've found him."

"Yes."

Relief surges through her gut, and Emilia slides down, losing her grip on the door. The detective supports her weight, and lifts her up, supporting her in. Nicolas is a comforting shadow at her back.

"Where is he? Take me to him, now. I need to see my baby."

"Miss Everly. I am so sorry. We found your son, but we were too late, he was already..."

Nicolas hiccups behind her.

Emilia is numb.

Emilia hadn't needed to take care of the funeral. Nicolas arranged everything. It was a short thing, and many said their condolences, but Emilia mutes them out. Her eyes could only see the small coffin, slowly being covered by dirt.

She waited.

The people left.

Emilia sits on the grave, pillowing her head on the headstone.