Chapter 4 - Recalibration

Two Years Later

She's in his room again, holding the plushie they won at the fair. It was his favourite.

In the room, his bright sunshine giggles echo.

It's her favorite video. The one where he smiles like delicate dew drops.

The door bangs open, Naomi standing there, a cloud of anger.

"How long are you going to keep doing this?"

Emilia turns back to the video.

"It's been 2 years Em, it's about time you live again."

Emilia turns up the volume.

"How long are you going to blame yourself!"

"Hypocrite," she mutters.

"What?"

Emilia pauses the video.

"I at least eat, and shower and change my clothes, like a normal human being. You stay in this room all day and do nothing,"

"Why did you say no?"

"You know it wasn't the right time - "

"Bullshit, you're 30, how much longer are you going to wait?"

"Until you can function like a normal human being!"

Emilia turns her back to Naomi.

" I'm moving out soon, but I can't walk out of that door knowing that the next time I come around, I might find you dead."

Emilia blinks, the cloudiness in her eyes recedes a little. She wants to say that she will be fine, but she knows, if there was no Naomi to forcefully feed her and bath her, she would have died of starvation a long time ago.

"Pull yourself together, if not for your sake, then for the kids."

Emilia swivels around.

"What?"

"You know I was in charge of that big case recently, what am I saying. Of course you don't. Anyway, the human trafficking one?

Some of those kids are siblings, and they all grew up together. We can't find their parents, and it would break them if they were separated. So, I offered to take them in. We're certainly not lacking the finances to look after them."

"You adopted them. In my name."

"Adoption is a strong word, we're only taking care of them until we can find their parents."

"Nami, you can't do shit like that."

"Don't you get it, this has been the most alive I have seen in two years. It will do you good. Clean up the place, they will be here around six."

The clock ticked, and ticked, and ticked.

Soft sunlight painted the room in gold, a slight breeze tickled in.

The air was musty and the smell of the room stale; on every surface a layer of dust rested. The toys were lined up from biggest to smallest, taking over half the room.

A soft chiming filled the room, the hanging toy over a crib turned with each note. Emilia hummed along.

She played the music box again, going back to her spot in the middle of the room, tucking the cocoon of blankets around her shoulders.

"Emilia, get your ass down here," Naomi screams.

Emilia has half a mind to ignore her, however, she knows that this time there is no way in hell that Naomi would let her get away with it.

Emilia groans, shuffling out of the room, and locking it behind her.

"For fuck's sake, I thought I told you to clean up," she rounds the corner, placing her hands on her hips and tapping her foot.

Emilia shrugs her shoulders.

"And you couldn't at least put on some clothes that don't stink."

Emilia screws her nose, smelling her armpit behind Naomi's back.

"You were supposed to be the responsible one, now look at you. I doubt the kids will want to stick around for long. Goddammit, do you have any idea how hard it was to convince them to come here?"

Emilia shifts her eyes away, refusing to make eye contact.

They come down the stairs, about to enter the dining room, the conversation inside stop them in their tracks though.

"Did someone die here? This place looks abandoned, are you sure we should have come?"

"It's the only option we have right now, until we find a way."

"But can we really trust them? What if it's the same?"

"Then we leave. We did it once, we can do it a second time."

Emilia taps Naomi on the shoulder, tilting her head to convey her confusion. She drags Emilia away from the door, speaking quietly.

"I told you. Human trafficking. They tipped us off and got away, I thought you could do well for each other. Seems I was hoping for too much," she hisses.

"My son is dead; you think bringing me some strays will make me forget?"

"It's been two years."

"But it still feels like it was yesterday!"

Naomi opens her mouth, closing it soundlessly. She rubs her forehead, sighing heavily. She's gearing for another argument, Emilia can tell.

They are interrupted by the blaring ringing of a phone. Naomi scoffs.

"Listen, my case is still ongoing. I need you to act like a living human being for a bit, feed the kids and put them to sleep. We'll discuss it later."

Emilia watches the door, dread pooling in her gut. She can barely stand the sight of her friends, how is she supposed to interact with a bunch of hyperactive kids. Emilia tilts her head back, watching the ceiling and running through deep breathing exercises.

She taps lightly on the door to announce her presence and walks in.

There are five children, all different ages, watching her warily; she thinks they might have heard her conversation.

"Hello..." Emilia greets, waving awkwardly.

They keep watching her. Emilia takes the opportunity to look them over.

They're huddling together, forlorn expression etched on their faces. They look similar enough to pass off as siblings, a bit obvious that at least one parent had to be different between them. They are all under 18.

The oldest is an albino, who's been frowning the second she walked in. He's standing behind the group, like a protective golem.

On the chair, another boy similar in age, is lounging, legs crossed and tilted sideways. He's black hair a contrast.

Next to him, on either side, are two twins: a girl and a boy. Their blonde hair long and shiny.

Surprisingly, the youngest is cradled by the black-haired boy; she is young and adorable with flaming red hair. It's her eyes that makes Emilia take a step back, they are terrified and wide - so much like her Cassius.

The protective instinct she buried with her Cassius rears back to life so fiercely that she feels it like a bullet to her chest. They stick close, and are so wary. She wanders idly, just what had those eyes seen?

Emilia clears her throat awkwardly.

"There is nothing in the kitchen...groceries. Tomorrow. Pizza. Do you like pizza?"

Emilia scratches her head, becoming aware of the grease in her hair.

"I will order pizza. You can stay where you want, just..." Emilia pauses, gulping down the saliva pooling in her mouth, "just take off all the sheets. There's bedrooms...I will show you where you can stay."

Emilia looks behind her, seeing that they do not follow her. She signals them to move.

There are five rooms downstairs and six on the second floor; the house itself had been a gift her grandfather left her after passing away. Emilia always thought it would be the best place for a family. There is `only one bedroom on the first floor, made entirely to benefit their elderly guests.

Well, once upon a time.

On the second floor, of the six rooms, three are their bedrooms, one a bathroom and the last two guest bedrooms.

There are five children now.

Unless she converts her study into a room to give each a bedroom, they will have to squeeze. Emilia is not sure if the twins would like to share a room, but seeing how they stick to one another, it should not be a problem.

She gives them a brief tour of the house. They do not show any sort of reaction - it disconcerts her a little.

"The last three rooms at the end are my bedroom, Naomi's, and the last one...don't go anywhere near it, for whatever reason. It's always going to be locked."

"Is that your son's?" the little girl with fiery hair asks innocently.

Emilia stumbles a bit.

"Yes, it is," she answers softly, more so than she had expected.

She moves on, scratching her head again when she cannot find her phone; Emilia finds it by accident, on her nightstand with a sticky note from Naomi. It is fully charged.

"The pizza will be here in half an hour. You can divide the rooms between you as you like, just change the sheets and everything."

Emilia retreats to her sanctuary, not coming out until the pizza gets there.

The children are gathered in the living room, the cleanest spot in the whole house, squished together on the couch. The TV is off, and they seem to be entertaining each other.

Emilia drops the pizzas on the low table, walking out as soon as her burden is relieved.

She gave them food and told them where to sleep. Now it's none of her business what they do.

She curls up in her spot, unpausing the video of her baby. He's smile is light and beaming; he resembles the little girl. Emilia cries.

Her throat is dry, and the last of her water supply had finished yesterday; she should have replenished it when she was downstairs.

Padding down, she passes through the living room. The kids are still squished together but seem less tense. She spies the pizza and frowns when she sees that only half is eaten.

"Are you not hungry?"

She should not have asked.

The oldest watches her warily, shaking his head hesitantly.

As if on cue, their stomachs growl.

It is the youngest again, who dares to speak.

"We're sorry we ate it, but we only took half. You can have the other pizza, we're not hungry."

Emilia freezes, watching the hunched shoulders and trembling lips of most of the children. It is only the oldest who sticks his chest out proudly, red eyes daring her to rebuke the little one.

"What?"

"We left you the other pizza, we will pay you back for the food we took," the oldest says.

Emilia nearly hits her knee when she flinches.

"No, what are you saying...? I don't want you to pay me back. Those pizzas are for you."

"Why would you," he pauses, averting his eyes, "you don't want us here. The other ones didn't want us either, and they never liked it when we took their food."

"No, I mean, yes, I may not want to foster any children. I cannot. But I would never just let you s-starve. What the hell kind of people would..." Emilia swallows thickly.

She sits down on the floor next to the coffee table, opening the box and offering a slice to the closest child. It takes a bit of encouragement for the child to take it, and even then, he doesn't eat it.

Emilia pats his head.

She doesn't stop until every child is holding a slice of pizza.

"I, I am not - I cannot be your mom, but for however long you're going to be here for, this is your home. It's your home. Whatever you need, whatever you want, you may take it as you please. I will not be angry. I will not shout. I will not hurt you. I swear on my little boy."

Emilia is not ready for the fireworks of tears. The only one openly crying is the little girl, the twins wiping at their eyes quickly to hide the evidence.

The oldest takes the little girl in his arms, comforting her gently.

"I am sorry you had to be dumped with me. It won't be pleasant for you, I cannot promise to be happy, or remember to cook, or do anything a guardian needs to do.

If you do need anything, ask me. Better yet, ask Naomi. I will leave my phone here. Call her."

With that taken care off, Emilia shuts herself away again.

For the first time in a long time, she falls asleep not at the crack of dawn.