Lovingheart

To Love, To Lose, To Heal is a poignant journey through love, heartbreak, and self-discovery. It follows a soul who loved deeply, lost painfully, and is now left to pick up the shattered pieces of a heart that once beat for another.

In a world where love is both salvation and destruction, the struggle with lingering emotions, haunting memories, and the weight of what could have been. Torn between holding on and letting go, between the past and an uncertain future, they must confront their pain, their fears, and the truth they’ve been avoiding, healing isn’t about forgetting; 

it’s about finding the strength to live again.

This novel is a raw, intimate exploration of love’s beautiful agony, the wounds it leaves behind, and the resilience it takes to rise again. To Love, To Lose, To Heal is for anyone who has ever loved too much, lost too deeply, and still found the courage to heal.

To love, To lose, To heal

I once told myself I would never fall in love with you.

Whenever my heart raced at the sound of your voice, whenever I felt my chest tighten just looking at you, I convinced myself it was something else and maybe I was just out of breath, maybe I had seen something so breathtakingly beautiful that my body was simply reacting to the awe. But I was wrong.

Because falling in love with you felt like stepping into a storm, knowing full well that it would break me. I used to think that any girl who fell for you, whether it was me or someone else was destined to be hurt. Over and over again. Almost every single day.

Because no girl wants to love someone only to watch him be intimate with another girl right in front of her. No girl wants to see the person she loves hold someone else close, whisper to her, touch her like she matters, and then turn back as if nothing happened, as if it were nothing.

It was like you were daring me to stop loving you. As if you wanted to see how much I could take before I finally broke, before I finally said the words you seemed to be waiting for:" I don't love you anymore".

But that's the thing about love, it doesn't just disappear because it hurts.

And so, I stayed. I questioned. I wondered. Did you ever really care? Did you ever really love me? Because if you did, you would know that what you were doing was the very thing that could tear me apart. If you valued my love, even a little bit, you wouldn't make me feel like I was competing for your attention, like I was just another girl in a sea of others.

I used to pity the girl who fell for you. I used to think, she's going to be hurt, over and over again. Every time she sees you being intimate with someone else, she'll hesitate before believing your words. She'll start questioning whether your love is real, whether you truly care for her at all. And now, here I am standing in her shoes, feeling every cut, every sting, every doubt she must have felt.

But I remember your words. The ones you said to me late at night, the ones that made me feel safe, wanted, loved. And when I see you like this with her I find myself questioning them.

Was it all just words, easy to say, easy to forget?

You say it's nothing. That it's just a greeting. That it's part of the lifestyle you admire so much. A western thing. But even in that world, they don't cross certain lines, not when it comes to someone they truly love. And if I were to do the same to you, if I were to hold another man that way, whisper to him, let him touch me in ways that should only belong to us, you wouldn't stand for it. You would hate it.

I remember telling you once that I would do exactly what you did. That I would treat you the same way, make you feel the same hurt. But I can't.

Because my love doesn't work that way.

There is one thing I will never do while in love, one thing I will never compromise on: I will never intentionally hurt the person I love. Not even for revenge. Not even to prove a point. Because I know what it feels like to be hurt this way, and I could never bring myself to do that to someone I love.

But you, you don't seem to have that same principle.

Or did I just make a mistake by falling for you?

Firecracker (Part 1)