Make It Stop

The way he looks at me nearly drives me mad; there is just unfound confidence and snarky attitude behind every flick of his hand to his hair, every grin, every tilt to his head – he knows just how sexy he is, and he isn't afraid to bring women to their knees in desire. I refuse to bow down to that sardonic behavior and give this man exactly what he expects, what the women in his life have most likely nursed him to believe. I will be stronger than that…

But God, would this be just as torturous for me as it will be for him. I want to pounce on him, want to take what I can't have. Yes, I can't have this man; he is way above any good karma I may have had in a past life. The mountain of women this man must stand on, there would be no reason for him to stoop so low as to choose me for anything. I'm not a choice; I know that. That Sterlo, though, that's a whole other matter entirely. With one swing of his arm, cupping around my waist to drag me closer, I would be nothing but whatever he desired me to be. That is something that I also do not want.

I can only imagine a life by Sterlo's side; what would that entail for someone like me?

Would it really, honestly be all that bad?

I felt solid and soft fingers cup my chin firmly in place only to yank at the item in their grasp with ample force to draw my face up to look at the figure before me who has so discourteously snapped me from my musings. "You really do find appeasement with staring off into this land of make-believe, do you not?" Came a muddled inquiry, his voice giving way to his amusement and informing me of the sight I will see the moment I were to look up at this man. One side of his mouth cocked back in that usual satirical manifestation, his cheeks toned and defiant against the smooth texture of his countenance.

"Why, wouldn't you like to know?" Went my just as derisive retort. This reply bemuses him for a moment; he mellows in the fiery bout of my defiance to him, revels in my ability to do so, and ultimately deciding to crush the burning bud.

"Oh, would I?" He breathes this with a low hum of a sound, his hot aromatic gasp daubing my face with a warmth I anticipated and a chilling tingle down my spine. My face sturdy in his grip, his digits clamping down tightly enough to where I comprehend that I would have to fight my way from him if I genuinely wished to separate myself from his body. This is quickly followed by the revelation that this is an effort I'm not willing to put in against someone like him. Whether that is because I have some sort of feelings of satisfaction from his actions or if it's merely because I want him to try and fail to seduce me, I'm not so sure… but I let this happen of my own free will. I let those grasping fingers pull my face closer to his, for my eyes to bore into his own ocean blue orbs, for his lips to draw so close that I could almost taste his breath on my tongue. His lips are mere centimeters away…

"How unsightly! First, you laugh at the horrid treachery that had befallen me, and now you storm in here and occupy yourself between my lovely little snack and myself? How unseen of you, dear boy!" Sterlo screeches as if he were a bird fighting over territory, his arms flailing at his sides while he storms toward us, adamantly placing himself between the white-haired man and myself. The signature grin befell Zero's lips, as he had expected such a reaction out of him, maybe even wished for him to flail about so. His eyes twinkle with satisfaction, pleased with his endeavor as though he had accomplished what he had set out to do. His eyes then turn to me once again to give me that last look of… of something I couldn't quite register. It's as though he were trying to tell me through his eyes that I was already wrapped about his pale finger. A cocky look, a confident glint; he knew that he had captured the interest Sterlo so desperately desired with nothing but charm, charisma, and maybe a bit of my own lust mixed in. I couldn't tell if the passion was for him entirely or if Sterlo had sparked that desire within me due to his ploy and perfumes, but it was there, and it wanted another man. A man whose hair wasn't pink and whose smile wasn't cocky.

But that is something I would never admit, not out loud.

In the confusing mix of eye contact and emotions, I had forgotten that Sterlo had placed himself between Zero and me, and am brought back by new firm hands on my shoulders, shaking me back and forth as he screeched, "–rling girl, no! Do not look at him like so, do not give in to the devilish charm of his! Sweet Phoenix, you must look only to me!" In his frenzy, he once again embraces me against his body as he hisses at Zero in a way that I can almost see the tiny hairs on the back of his neck rise in agitation. "Shoo! Why must you be like this!" He barks at the man.

His scent once again wafts over me, but Zero's presence somehow clears the haze from my mind. I give a low chuckle, unable to help but feel a little bit of sympathy for Sterlo and his cutesy way of expressing his jealousy. I stretch my arm up to pat the top of his head soothingly. "It's okay Sterlo, I'm not stuck under anyone's thumb."

Zero gives a huff of a sound, his disbelief apparent, while Sterlo breathes a short sigh of relief. "Do you promise this to me, darling?" He murmurs as his head is turned to glare sharpy at Zero.

"Yes, Sterlo. I promise that I dance to no one's tune but my own." My hand nurturing-ly caresses the back of his head, doing its best to appease the agitated man.

"What a scene I am witnessing! Oh, how extraordinary! I have never seen you so rivaled, my dear boy! Nor have I ever seen quite such the attitude out of you either, Zero! Exquisite! Bravissimo!" Desirée's gleeful voice rings out as she claps her hands with elation, her face beaming with unfound fascination. Her comment does nothing but causes Sterlo to squeeze me even tighter as if her words have somehow threatened his hold on me. He gives a huff, giving a gentle shake to his head while letting the air slip from his lungs placidly. With that, he looks to me with the most lovingly provocative smile he must have been able to muster, the stress having just evaporated from his body in seconds and his usual temperament once again in full swing.

"Rivaled? Oh, my dear, sweet, innocent Desirée; No man of any prominence could ever conceivably contend me. I am untouchable, unmovable, and irrepressible. Not anyone will, at any point, prevail once they have deemed their worthlessness can oppose me. No, no… not even you, my pearl." He leans in as he says this, his speech clearly having been directed toward me and not toward his darling sister. Adding injury to insult, he compresses me in his grip. I know he's rich, robust, undoubtedly handsome… and I know that his patience is not everlasting.

Though I doubted with every fiber in my being that this vessel of man would continue to taunt and tease me for eternity, I could not for a fact prove that he would not try and try until he succeeded, if for no other reason than his own pride. If I did not want to concede to his whim inescapably, I would have to give him a replacement for this preposterous endearment he has in me. Or… give in to another such man hoping that that would ward off his advances. Alas, there is only one such man I can think of that could put Sterlo in his place.

Another short cackle of a disbelieving companion, Zero, reaches out with one swift motion to pluck my hand from Sterlo's hair and tugs with an unbelievable amount of force. His reasoning unknown to a baffled me, I am hastily wrenched from the clutches of the smug pink-haired man and stumbled into Zero's chest as he makes no effort to stop my wobbly form. I look up at him, concerned that he may be losing it and confused as to why he would have done that. "Uhg… as much as I hate having to place my transcendent hands on such low-class insects, I can not stand here and partake in your incessant ramblings either. What utter nonsense." He spits out, clearly disturbed by Sterlo's words. Maybe by the fact that Sterlo has claimed to be better than him in a roundabout way, or that he has taken these words as a challenge against his own honor, Zero gives his cockiest grin yet and radiates such pure, devilish charm.

He stands there, headstrong, like a rock on a battlefield. "It embarrasses me that you can believe such nonsense." His grip stays firm around my wrist, my hand raised high in the air as I stand, my face planted against his chest and my eyes wide-eyed at the figure proclaiming his bewilderment to Sterlo. Is he trying to cause a conflict? Does he want to get into an argument with him?!

Sterlo narrows his eyes in a mix of amusement and curiosity, Zero's words bouncing off his thickened, glistening skin. "And why is that so? What has you so riled up, my friend?" His voice stays evenly serene as he poses the question in our direction, almost wholly forgetting this friend of his has just snatched his 'beloved.'

"Do you so justly conclude that no man could stand afore you? Could topple you over…?" He drops my hand, and in scarcely a second, his grip clamps unto the skin of my hip, my hair grasped by the other. It clutches at the tendrils and tugs, notably lax for his tightfisted attitude, and I'm now looking up into the crystalized eyes of the aggressor. "Do you so happen to insinuate that I could not seize this woman from you if I truly desired to do so?"

Ah…. Again with the husky voice, his breathy tone, the way the air leaves his lips and dances across my face… this isn't remotely fair for me, not one bit. Being treated like an object… being seen as less than poor, less than a bug on the street. A bug with sexuality, at least, but a bug, nonetheless. It stings, a feeling I can't remember having experienced before. What is it that hurts, and why?

I can hear Sterlo give a shout, but Zero's approaching lips distract me from interpreting those words in my brain. There's another gasp from behind Zero, a velvety, more feminine gasp of incredulity. Before any other thoughts have the chance to process, his lips meet with my own and cause an explosion within my head that thunders its way through my body in shocks of warm electricity.

Wait… What is this? What is this feeling… this sensation against my lips?

The grip on the back of my head tightens, before softening into a somewhat loving hold, the fingers stroking the skin beneath the waves of hair. His lips enveloping my own, moving and dancing; the warmth sends another jolt of lightning down my spine, from which springs heat throughout my body. His head tilts, and mine tilts along with him; his arms bring me closer, and I allow them – my body now rocks to his tune. He leans back, and our lip's part with a silent kiss of a sound, and I almost moan for him to not stop before he adjusts our bodies and kisses me again, harder, greedier. His tongue glides against my lower as if warning me that it was not going to ask permission, and quickly it plunges through and draws a line down my own fleshy appendage. Unable to contain myself, my shaky hands clinging to his clothing, a softened moan escapes from my throat.

I don't know why he decided to do this, and I hate that this is happening…. But right now, my mind is hazy, and his breath mixing with my own is all that seems to matter. I should hate this – I should be fighting him off… I should be doing anything but this… Yet…

A screech. A screech of hatred almost, and a grip meant to hurt yanks me by the elbow from Zero. "What in the absolute insanity are you doing?! How could you set upon your lips this young lady's innocence?! Before myself?!" He bellows, a sound very unlike himself.

Zero holds his smirk, his thumb removing the residue of my saliva from his mouth with one swift movement. "It was nothing more than to show you your place, my dear." He cackles and flicks his hair over his shoulder while he exudes sarcasm.

Still reeling from the incident, my thoughts in disbelief as Sterlo's increasingly firming grip holds me somewhat steady to reality. A wet stream of heated liquid traces a path from my eye to my chin, and fire bubbles up from my stomach through my esophagus, a wave of fiery anger. My free hand raises as I take a step forward. I feel some resistance from Sterlo, but his confidence in his grip keeps him from yanking me back; with my arm outstretched, I pull it back and send my hand flying with as much force as my arm can handle, contacting the cheek of a very surprised Zero.

A sharp SMACK is heard throughout the kitchen as tears stream freely down my face. I manage out a strangled sob as I bark out, "How dare you!" My shout is followed by a ghostly silence as no one else wants to follow my actions. Zero stands, highly insulted and reddened cheek showing proof of that, and his widened pupils give way to his shock, which is soon replaced by a seething ferocity. His eyes bore into me, glaring daggers and plotting what he plans to do with me. Sterlo gently tugs me, and I let him pull me only an inch before I continue my tirade. "That is beyond vile of you. Not even Sterlo had stepped into the realm of non-consensual. You disgust me… and you look to me as if I'm the rodent. PUH!" I spit out in utter fury and repugnance. "Even if you bowed to me and apologized, licked my f – !" I choke on my speech as I catch a glimpse of the expression on his face. It's almost unrecognizable, the scary expression it holds, an expression I wouldn't doubt he held while watching the life drain from the man's eyes he stood before. Has Zero ever killed a man before… could he… or would he…?

A hand clamps around my eyes, another around my body, and it is now that I realize I am shaking. Trembling with anger, with pain, and with fear. That look… it terrifies me. His daggering eyes and teeth bearing snarl… He looks riled enough to hurt me, and nothing in my instincts tells me that he wouldn't. I know nothing of this man or his past, and yet I slapped him? Knowing my position, knowing my place to their place and where I am at this moment. I had nothing but his roof over my head and his friends' clothing on my body.

I have nowhere else to go.

My stupidity had taken over and caused me to react without thinking, with me now quaking in fear at what I have just done and what can now possibly happen to me because of it. What will he do? What would I do if I were him? If a rat had smacked ME when I had gifted them my lips for the sake of proving a notion. It would… enrage me.

Hefty footsteps take their leave of the room and, from what I can hear, down the hallway that leads to the elevator. I hear a distant ding, a door opening and promptly closing, and a buzz as he leaves the premises. The hand sticks to my face for a moment longer, as if it were disbelief of the events that had just transpired, before they finally released me slowly, only to slide down my nose to stroke my lips and chin. "Sigh… I should go and… make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." Desiree murmurs, barely loud enough for me to hear it. Her heels clack after the retreated man, hurrying but not nearly as threateningly.

Another sigh is breathed above me, blowing my hair with the exhaled air, and a hard chin is placed unto my head. "This isn't going to go too well…" He whispers. The tears begin their usual routine, and I gasp in a breath, trying to calm my nerves.

"I-I'm sorry…." I struggle to get the words out, not genuinely believing that I am wrong, but knowing I may have taken it a little too far.

"No…no, my dear, do not apologize. Not yet, my sweet. He should not have touched you like so, not for that reasoning. You are a recherché gem and should hold yourself as such. I apologize on his behalf… though I do not know how much reprieve that will give you." Gingerly, he spins me around in his arms to gaze at my pain-stricken face, coated with fresh, heartfelt tears. "Oh, my… do you need me to cleanse you, Phoenix?"

"How… how can you cleanse me when I have done an unspeakable deed to the man who, grudgingly or not, has given me access into his home?" I cry out, my visible shuddering rocking the tears from my face and unto the hand of Sterlo as it tried to console my rapidly palpitating heart. "Sterlo…" I whimper, giving a loud sob as I gander up at him with hopelessness, "Can you fix this?" I raise the offender, my hand, up to the man's face with self-abasement.

His eyes do more than soften; they observe with such apperception that it near about stops my tears with its admission. What does that look mean, down to its core? It seems to be more than what he'll allow it to say; there is something behind that crooked, broken smile of his. "Let him slip from your mind, let your memories revolve around only me…" My face is then one with his shirt and suit jacket, without warning, being held so close that it could suffocate was he holding me any tighter. I realize my mistake now, having made one-man runoff and the only other body chase off after him: I am alone with Sterlo.

I am now alone with the pervert, the sly fox, the charismatic 'Owner'… the perfumѐ king. Perhaps, due to the circumstances and emotions flooding my veins, the scent neutralized my senses much faster than it had ever done so before. My head became saturated with incense, my entire existence revolving around his being, wanting nothing more than to be absorbed into his skin. I sink into him, having no sense left to fight against his scent, caving completely to the ludicrous thoughts in my head. There is nothing but Sterlo afore me, nothing but him now and forevermore.

He… is my world.

My eyes on him, never moving, my sight began to diminish into darkness. I am filling up with him, getting lost in him, losing my sight and mind to him. Sterlo sees this, sees this reaction in me, and my willingness to concede to him. It is better to be lost in his world than to continue to fight this losing battle of mine; I already lost everything.

There is nothing else that I can lose.

His smile, apologetic in nature but a lustful hue lying beneath the layers, beams down at me as my vision fades. Darkness wraps me in its embrace, and the warmth of Sterlo's arms slowly slinks away with the sight of him. When I try to open my eyes, I am in a complete and empty void of inky silence. A cold wind sweeps over the reflective blackness and attacks my sensors. A shiver runs across my skin, and my teeth chatter uncomfortably. I know that my eyes are open, and I know I must be awake… this can't possibly be a dream? As I say this, I look down at my non-existence.

I have no body. I am nothing in nowhere

Is this a dream? This scary, heart-wrenching dead-zone? Where am I, and why am I here? Sterlo couldn't have done this, could he have?? I had merely evaporated into his clothing only a moment ago…

More than that, why does this seem so familiar? Why do I feel like I have been here before… and why? Does this have something to do with my amnesia?

A stabbing pain runs through my mind, and I cry out, a pain I know I have felt before. This must be a memory, but of what?! When was I sitting in such desolation, and why? What happened to me? The pain begins its slow climb of trying to bring me to the brink of insanity. It's throbbing and stinging me, yet the pain feels like a distant dream, a vision, or memory. I feel it, it burns like acid, but it almost doesn't feel real. This pain… I remember this pain from somewhere. I reach out my shaky, invisible hand into the air, nothing before me and nothing behind me.

I want it to be gone, the sky and the ground and the air itself; I wish it would poison me and take me from this land. I wish to be gone completely, to be nowhere. I want to be nowhere. Please.

Take me, break me, shred me up into pieces. I am disposable. It hurts, a pain of familiarity that I wish would consume me. Drown me in my sorrows; that is all I ask I of you.

There will never be another… so why must I suffer so –…

I am awake with a jolt, though it feels as if I were never asleep, to begin with. Staring up at a dark ceiling in a room I am not familiar with, my head filled with that sweet and enchanting voice, that voice that radiated sadness. A never-ending well of pain and anguish that I have never heard before. Who was that that I had heard, and why did that strike a chord within my soul?

There is a stirring beside me that brings me back to the situation at hand, and I remember with a startling shock the events that had transpired before I had gotten lost in that plain of existential existence.

Zero…

What have I done? Why is this all that I am suitable for? I just want it to stop; I want it to vanish and disperse; I am so tired! Why can't I seem to do anything right? Why can't I just appreciate what I have and not complain?! Why must I be ridiculous? Just comply! That is all I must do to survive!

Why can't I make myself stop?

Make it stop!

With a scream –…