good story but personally is dislike when mc shares his "personal power" with other people that's why te fic isn't for me. But the quality of the story is great so far but like I said it just interesting for me.
4 years ago
43
Poison_Tester
Alright the two things I have a problem is story development and character design. MC really showed and shared his power with his "sister" smh. Mostly because if Hermione from the future that's already a big cheat. (She was the greatest witch of their generation) But he decides to help her? What if she turns against him one day? Remember this Hermione is from the future where she died. And she used to live as a only child and probably doesn't see MC as a "brother" so she would most likely kill him.
Also MC is too trusting. Ik for a fact if someone like Hermione went through a war and died her "morals" would have dimmed down by a lot. So yeah if mc didn't help Hermione and stop acting so naive I would give this a story a 5/5.
4 years ago
33
Ashmodai
Disappointing. The Idea for the Story and System is good but gets quickly wasted with bullshit Skills that make no sense and time travel or future visions that are completely unnecessary.
4 years ago
22
Will_Caruso
I'm at a loss for words to describe this even though it might be slow at times when it speeds up it makes it worth it with that being said everything is great and to the author my hat off to u very good job
4 years ago
14
lordkc
It's a Good story! But I feel the MC and Hermione lack a brother and sister bond, they feel more like allies with common goals. It would be better to create a situation to strengthen the sibling bond.
4 years ago
14
manyaktavuk
So many mustakes book have
All characters are idiots(mc too)
Or low ıq problem
time travel ? writer dont give ang information about it and time travel but we even dont know which time line they travel from
If he want to know the truth he dont try to make idiotic plans
GREAT POTENTIAL BUT A TRASH
4 years ago
5
Usiel
Low Quality Trash. Simp, Wimp, Moron MC. Sl*tty sister. Sharing power for no reason. Ppl who says he is getting occlumency in return are idiots. MC has a copy ability. He could have got any power from anyone. The biggest error of the author is making him a granger. Most ppl literally hates hermione, this includes me. Some ppl does not like muggleborns in potterverse as they are simply refugees of wizarding world. They act like Muggle world is a fairy tale, everything is perfectly balanced and asks noble lines of purebloods to bend over for them. So if your target readers are kids go with muggleborn/pro-muggle heroic characters who gives freebies to everyone. If your target readers are adults go with pureblood mc and make him SMART not santa. Be a villain and/or anti-hero.
a year ago
2
Thangam_Robert
well nothing to say, this story itself is a sucide from the start, there is no research into what the mc is doing,i mean one who has a psychologist guide can't even think correctly, everything is happening in the wimps of God a.k.a. writer. and so far no improvement in his writing or story or characters.
so readable with passion but no interest present in it.
if there was some comedy, a hanky panky stuff between them but in a line or proper phasing it can be better.
please improve it and write a better story.
4 years ago
2
Hello_there12
I love the 11 chapterS that have been written so far. They are amazing. If anyone likes Harry Potter SI fanfictions this is definately worth reading.
4 years ago
2
Enjoyteddy
I have read everything that is out at this point 11 chapters and it’s been very good. The system is new and interesting and the story is well written and easy to understand. Keep up the good work!
So far so good. The Mc add on actually didn't change much and with him only starting to have access to Hogwarts, so he's quite weak right now.
I hope to see Mc add more info and knowledge inside his system with the help of ROR.. Maybe author could make it so ROR can produce any type of books and knowledge in past and present? Muggle and magical, both side of it.. Like wishing with ROR "Books and knowledge that I haven't read yet. "...
4 years ago
1
black_lamp
Very good .......................................................................................................................................
good story but personally is dislike when mc shares his "personal power" with other people that's why te fic isn't for me. But the quality of the story is great so far but like I said it just interesting for me.
Alright the two things I have a problem is story development and character design. MC really showed and shared his power with his "sister" smh. Mostly because if Hermione from the future that's already a big cheat. (She was the greatest witch of their generation) But he decides to help her? What if she turns against him one day? Remember this Hermione is from the future where she died. And she used to live as a only child and probably doesn't see MC as a "brother" so she would most likely kill him. Also MC is too trusting. Ik for a fact if someone like Hermione went through a war and died her "morals" would have dimmed down by a lot. So yeah if mc didn't help Hermione and stop acting so naive I would give this a story a 5/5.
Disappointing. The Idea for the Story and System is good but gets quickly wasted with bullshit Skills that make no sense and time travel or future visions that are completely unnecessary.
I'm at a loss for words to describe this even though it might be slow at times when it speeds up it makes it worth it with that being said everything is great and to the author my hat off to u very good job
It's a Good story! But I feel the MC and Hermione lack a brother and sister bond, they feel more like allies with common goals. It would be better to create a situation to strengthen the sibling bond.
So many mustakes book have All characters are idiots(mc too) Or low ıq problem time travel ? writer dont give ang information about it and time travel but we even dont know which time line they travel from If he want to know the truth he dont try to make idiotic plans GREAT POTENTIAL BUT A TRASH
Low Quality Trash. Simp, Wimp, Moron MC. Sl*tty sister. Sharing power for no reason. Ppl who says he is getting occlumency in return are idiots. MC has a copy ability. He could have got any power from anyone. The biggest error of the author is making him a granger. Most ppl literally hates hermione, this includes me. Some ppl does not like muggleborns in potterverse as they are simply refugees of wizarding world. They act like Muggle world is a fairy tale, everything is perfectly balanced and asks noble lines of purebloods to bend over for them. So if your target readers are kids go with muggleborn/pro-muggle heroic characters who gives freebies to everyone. If your target readers are adults go with pureblood mc and make him SMART not santa. Be a villain and/or anti-hero.
well nothing to say, this story itself is a sucide from the start, there is no research into what the mc is doing,i mean one who has a psychologist guide can't even think correctly, everything is happening in the wimps of God a.k.a. writer. and so far no improvement in his writing or story or characters. so readable with passion but no interest present in it. if there was some comedy, a hanky panky stuff between them but in a line or proper phasing it can be better. please improve it and write a better story.
I love the 11 chapterS that have been written so far. They are amazing. If anyone likes Harry Potter SI fanfictions this is definately worth reading.
I have read everything that is out at this point 11 chapters and it’s been very good. The system is new and interesting and the story is well written and easy to understand. Keep up the good work!
Reveal Spoiler
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So far so good. The Mc add on actually didn't change much and with him only starting to have access to Hogwarts, so he's quite weak right now. I hope to see Mc add more info and knowledge inside his system with the help of ROR.. Maybe author could make it so ROR can produce any type of books and knowledge in past and present? Muggle and magical, both side of it.. Like wishing with ROR "Books and knowledge that I haven't read yet. "...
Very good .......................................................................................................................................