Chapter 32

Chapter 32

A week later. 

APRIL 

"So you think it's a favor?" I paused "So what? Poor April needs a babysitter since she can't get a grip?"

"You know that's not what I mean," Jordan said, his hands on his hips. 

"I didn't force you to stay back at home and abandon your work. I don't even want you at home and you know what? I think it's high time I leave this place" I slowly retreated to go back to the bedroom

"Wait" he called out, slowly walking to cover the distance between us. "I am sorry April. I didn't mean to let this happen but please you're being too hard on me. You've grown distant and cold towards me. It's almost as if you've changed and I don't..."

"Love me anymore?" I cut him off "just say it point-blank Jordan." 

"For God's sake April! Shut the fuck up and listen to me!" 

And for the first time in never, Jordan raised his voice at me. 

I have been feeling insecure since I saw the scars on my body and although I'd managed to keep them hidden by wearing covered clothing, I can't help but think of Jordan leaving me when he finds me unsuitable. There are so many hot girls who would take my place and before my heart breaks further, I intend to end this relationship of ours but he's not making it easy for me. I just need one leverage against him. Just one. 

I can't accept what I've come to look like and I don't expect him to accept what's hard for me to embrace. 

"I am sorry for raising my voice," He said apologetically. 

"I think we need a breather. A space. We need to figure out if we are worth saving Jordan and for that to happen I need to leave here"

"Please April, don't shut me out" his voice was cracked, a hint of him breaking down inside. I wish I could be perfect for him. I wish I could. I used to be but no more. Not with all these things that have made me look unacceptable. 

"I'm sorry Jordan but we have to do this. I have to do this. A week" I walked out and returned minutes later with my box. 

"We can get through this, we will get through this but only together and not far apart" 

I held on to the necklace he'd given me of recent and it made me remember the expensive watch he gifted me in Milan. 

"Did you sleep with her?" That blurted out of my mouth uncontrollably. It was obvious the fact that Bel stayed in this house troubled me. I trust Jordan and at the same time doubt him. 

"Bel? I have told you April nothing happened between us" 

"We have- you have another room she could have slept in the house, why did she have to sleep on our- your bed?" 

"She's only been there twice," He said breathlessly. "It's ours, April"

"Twice? She has stuff that'll last her a week in our- your closet Jordan. Did you like her? Did you develop feelings for her too as you did me?" 

"Snap out of it April" He aggressively grabbed my shoulders and the effect stung deep into my bone. "What is wrong with you? Why are you being like this? Why are you trying to jump into conclusions and making us break apart?" He hugged me and this time, he had tears streaming down his face. 

Seeing him hurt hurts me even more. Once he sees all the scars on my body he's going to leave me no doubt. I have to leave for both our happiness. 

"Let me go Jordan" I forced myself out of his embrace and walked out the door. A part of me wanted him to chase me, run after me and tie me down if need be as long as I don't leave the premises of his life, and then the other part was praying he doesn't. I entered the cab and as the driver drove away, it was my turn to cry. 

If I had been rescued sooner, I wouldn't have this much scars on my body that's making me feel like I don't deserve the man I love.  Questions like What if he cheats on me with a supermodel who has an alluring body, unlike mine? What if he gets tired of seeing my ugly scars and grows distant? What if he can't even look at me while having sex because I don't look appealing? 

This past week has been horrifying and I don't even know who I am anymore. 

One truth that will always remain is that that man I'm leaving behind is the key to my happiness and a man I'll forever cherish in my heart, body, and soul. 

The driver pulled up in front of my house and a wave of unfamiliarity waved through my body. I'd only been away from my house for a few weeks and yet it feels like years. I reached for my keys in the flower pot on my porch and entered after opening the door. 

Every part of the house reminded me of Jordan. Every corner oozed of memories and things we'd done. Where we made love, watched the television, ate, played, and slept. I thought it would be easy if I left his place but this is worse. My body longed for him. I placed my palm on the dining table to find dust on it. This place has been a mess. 

I decided to clean everywhere as a means of distraction but it didn't last long when Jordan showed up in front of my house. 

"Don't tell me to leave because I'm not going anywhere." He alighted from his car and reached a box on the passenger's seat at the back of the vehicle.  "And I'm staying until we deal with this shit" 

"Jordan," I said weakly " what about your work? I don't need you to waste your time when you're supposed to be tending to important stuff in your company" 

"FYI you are important to me so fuck all that company shit. Secondly, I need you more than any workload and besides, I'm paying people handsomely to keep the work running in my absence. Thirdly April don't you fucking walk out on me ever again." 

I thought he was angry until he hurried to where I stood and kissed me like his life depended on it. 

"I fucking love you April. You mean so much to me. I can't survive without you in my life. I need you in my life so much. I'll never forgive myself if I lose you." 

"Jordan," I said, tears streaming down my face.  "I love you too. I love you so much. I can't bear a life without you" 

"Promise me you'll stick with me" 

"I promise you Jordan,  I will stick with you no matter what" I kissed him briefly and we went inside together. 

DAYS LATER

 JORDAN

I checked us into the suite we'll be staying at the resort for the weekend. I'd planned this trip to help our relationship get back to what it used to be and I hope it works out well. 

"Hello pretty," I said, trapping her tiny waist with my palms. 

"Look who graduated from calling me tease," April said with a warm smile. 

"Well you deserve the upgrade" 

She laughed and I sealed it with a kiss. 

"What do you want to do first? They have a hot tub, there's also the beach, there's the gazebo reserved for just the both of us, we can go horse riding, and a whole lot more" 

"You have everything planned don't you?" 

"As a matter of fact, I do" I kissed her again and slowly began to remove her long-sleeved leather jacket. 

"No Jordan," she said, stopping me halfway.

"Did I do something wrong?" I searched for her eyes 

"No you didn't, it's just.... never mind" 

"You worried about your body?" I've noticed she'd been covering her body from me, always closing the bathroom door while taking a shower, making sure not to get dressed in front of me and stopping me whenever I decide to undress coupled with making love with her. We've not had sex since the day of her return and I'm not in a rush. All I want is that she understands I don't give a fuck about what her body looks like. There's so much more to her that has got me hooked. She's witty which is the favorite character of hers that continues to swoon me. 

She kept mute.

"You don't have to April. How your body looks doesn't change the way I feel about you. You April Denver has got me hooked like a fish." I kissed the crown of her head briefly and then moved to her lips to devour them in the most sensuous way ever. I circled my arms around her waist again thus securing her tightly against my chest. I grabbed and squeezed her butt whilst kissing her deeply.

I growled when she made a raspy moan of my name. She rested her arms and connected them at the nape of my neck. 

"Jordan" she moaned 

I slowly eased from the kiss and despite the fact that I had a full erection fighting its way out of my trouser, I had to respect the fact that she might not be ready for that part yet. 

"I love you Alril Denver" I kiss her one last time before retreating. 

"I love you tease" she replied and both laughed out loud until somehow we slept off on the bed, legs sprawled out on each other. 

APRIL

  "Catch me if you can" I ran as fast as my legs could carry on the beach sand and looked back repeatedly to see if Jordan was catching up. 

"Don't be a lazy lad and catch me!" I intensified my pace. 

He caught on by circling my waist with one arm.

"You feel proud of yourself?" I asked 

"Felt like I achieved something tonight" He chuckled and kissed me. If there's one thing I can vouch for, it's the fact that Jordan can't get over kissing me and I love it. 

"Want a medal?" 

"If you blow my cock right here right now" 

How he said it turned me on. In fact, I'd been craving for him but I am not ready for him to see me yet but that doesn't mean I can't get down on my knees and take all of him into my mouth. 

There is no one on the beach beside the two of us plus, it's dark. I went on my knees, freed his cock, and trapped it in the warmth and comfort of my mouth. He groaned as I twirled my tongue around the tip. I began to thrust my head slowly as he placed his palms at the back of my head this motioning me to thrust faster. 

"Fuck, April" He groaned.

My nipples had turned to hard stone and my core wet. 

"I want to have you April, Can I? I can't hold to being a gentleman for long April. I need to be inside you. " 

I freed his cock from my mouth with a loud pop. 

I rose from the ground and gave him one of my legs to hold. I tilted my gown to the side and it gave a free passage to my wet core. 

The moment he fixed his length in, every urge to get fucked disappeared. It felt like I didn't enjoy it which I found very weird. 

It was hard to explain in my head. I've been longing for this and finally, it's happening only for me to feel this way. He kept thrusting in and out of me and I felt nothing. I wasn't satisfied. I kept giving him fake moaning until he found his orgasm.

"That was intense," He said kissing me. 

I replied with a nod. Can I blame this feeling on the fact that it's been a while we got intimate?  We went back to our room, had dinner, and made jokes about what happened during the course of the day until he slept off. 

I watched him as he slept and it was only when I was certain he was deep into it did I stand up to take a leak in the toilet. 

Again, I looked at my self in the mirror and asked 

"What's wrong?" I said to myself.