03

"Good morning, Auntie." I smiled while taking off my shoes before going in.

"How was your ride? I'm sorry it takes too much time for you to visit us." She shyly chuckled while we walked towards the dining room.

"It's okay, Auntie. I really intended to go here. I also need to go to mom and dad. Was I too early?" We entered the dining room which welcomed me with the smell of coffee. Perfect.

She shook her head. "You're just on time." He gazed at Uncle who was preparing breakfast. "Honey, Tiberius is here."

I stood closer to him. "Good morning, Uncle." I greeted him with a smile. He looked back at me and grabbed a towel.

He was wiping his hands. "Good morning, Tibby." He smiled and stood in front of me. He ruffled my hair which made me laugh. "You guys go sit. I'll serve the food in a minute."

"Thanks, Uncle." We sat down on their dining table and talked about how we have been. We just talked about how we were the past few weeks, she asked me how was school, stuff like that. It wasn't after a few minutes that Uncle placed the dishes on the table.

"Coffee, Tib?" He asked but then laughed after realizing my love for coffee. "Of course, that'll be a yes." The three of us laughed.

We were all now gathered and ready to eat. "Thank you for the food, Uncle! I missed your cooking." I picked up the utensils and started to dig in.

"How are you, Tib?" He asked.

I looked at him and smiled. "I'm slowly getting better, Uncle."

Auntie cleared her throat. "Ah, you mentioned you'll be going to your mom's house? That's perfect, I was planning on giving her something but as you know, I'm very weak to the cold weather so I can't really go out."

"I'll deliver it for you then, Auntie." I sweetly smiled at her.

"Aww look at our Tibby all grown up but still like our little baby back then." Uncle teased.

I pouted and disagreed with his statement. "Well I am grown up but I wasn't a baby back then!"

The dining room was filled with laughter and memories that were from long ago. About how I was always so aloof to others but was very sweet to them and my parents, how Diesel and I were always together. I also heard a lot of stories that I haven't heard from my parents yet. How they became friends, their first bonding together as adults while drinking beer and getting drunk, waking up the next day with their wives scolding them for drinking too much. It has been so long since I had a conversation like this, that I felt very overwhelmed with the emotions. It was very satisfying, though. I felt very happy and my heart felt full after a very long time.

"I'm sorry for exiting too early but I gotta go to work." He kissed Auntie on the cheek and clicked his tongue before closing the front door.

"He's very diligent with work." Auntie chuckled softly. We walked towards Diesel's room because she told me that she has to give me something from D.

"Well, ever since, he was a workaholic." I laughed and opened the door for us.

It has been a while since I last came to this room. When I opened the door, it reeked of Diesel's scent. And just like that, I felt my heart clench. Memories came by like floods. I tried to compose myself.

"I'm sorry. Must be hard for you as well to go to this room. It'll just be a few minutes, don't worry." I know she's trying to comfort me, but I also know that she's the one who needs more comfort.

I shook my head. "It's okay, Auntie. I missed this room, it feels like it's been too long."

She opened some drawers and closed it again. Then she opened the cabinet and saw a box there. "I know right. 2 years feel like a decade." She smiled, but I saw a glint of sadness in her eyes.

I stood beside her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Auntie. Here, I'll take care of that." I took the box that she was holding and placed it on the bed.

We both sat down on the bed with the box between us. Our bodies were facing each other as we open the box. I was surprised when I saw a lot of pictures there. Mostly ours. There was a pile of envelop which Auntie took. As she was looking at it, she was smiling but her eyes were expressing otherwise.

"He told me to give this to you if ever you visit here." My eyes were fixated on the pictures inside the box. They were organized and there was also an album inside. The trophies we won together, certificates, our notebook when we were young, everything was in there. It was like he kept all of our memories from when we first met to know in a small box.

"Here, Tib. That's arranged by date. The one on top is the oldest one. Do you want me to put this box in a paper bag?" She politely asked me.

"Yes.. please."

"Alright. I'll go pack this and my present for your mom." She glanced at me. "You can stay here while waiting for me." She patted my shoulder and got out of the room. She quietly closed the door and I was left alone in a room full of memories together with Diesel. I used to sleepover here a lot as well.

I layed down on the bed. I don't know if that was a bad idea or a good one but when my face touched the soft beddings, as my nose inhaled the scent of Diesel that I used to smell, I couldn't do anything with my tears anymore. They were overflowing. I pulled my legs up toward my stomach and hugged myself, just like a position of a baby, as I writhe in agony. I miss you.

I pulled myself together, tried to stop my tears but no matter what I did, it didn't stop. When I sat back up, Auntie opened the door. She stopped for a moment before completely entering.

"I'm sorry, Auntie." I was wiping my tears away but new ones keep falling.

She sat beside me and held both of my hands. I was looking down, embarrassed of my state right now. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Tib. Crying and being in pain isn't a sin. Let it all out and lessen the burden in your heart."

I nodded. After a few minutes, she helped me stand up and led us to the living room. She took me out of there because she knows if we stay, I'll never stop crying.

I was waiting for her patiently at the living room while sniffing. She came back with a cup of tea for the both of us. "Here, it'll help you calm down."

"Thank you." My hands were still trembling when I picked up the cup from the table. I took a sip after blowing it and I calmed down a little bit because of the warmth of the tea. "I'm very sorry for breaking down earlier."

She shook her head while smiling. "No. It's okay. It's hard for me to go in there as well. Everytime I open the door, it pains me because I see things he used before. We agreed not to change anything in there."

I smiled as well. "Yeah. Seeing his things really did trigger something in me. His scent is calming but painful to smell at the same time."

"Well, I know someday we'll be better. The pain will never fade but we will be better." She calmly took a sip of tea.

"We move forward, not move on. I mean, for sure right now we can't bear to be in there for a very long time but mark my words Auntie, the next time I come back here, We'll rummage through his things, and we'll see some embarrassing things that he probably wouldn't want us to see."

"Yeah, yeah! And for sure we'll burst out laughing. Especially Frederick." She giggled. "Ha.. I'm looking forward to that time."

"Soon, Auntie."

"I'm sorry for taking up too much of your time. Be sure to visit again soon, okay?" She handed me the papers bag, one for me and one for mom.

"Well I'm not very sure, Auntie. I made a promise, right?" I joked. She mockingly slapped my arm and laughed.

"Come by whenever you want to."

"I will, Auntie." I kissed her cheek and hugged her before finally going.

I'm thankful for the both of them, actually. They're like my second parents. They treat me like I'm part of their family. Being with them makes me feel warm the same way when I'm with my own family. Maybe that's why the four of them clicked so fast. Back then, I was so surprised when Uncle Fred and Auntie Elaine, Diesel's parents, celebrated because we confessed about our relationship. I didn't feel like they were pretending to accept what we had, I felt their sincerity.

My parents' house was just a few minutes from Auntie's so it didn't take me long to arrive at our house. It has been somehow long since I last visited them and knowing mom, for sure she'll be tearing up again because of my sudden visit.

I'm very close to both of my parents. I'm not uncomfortable sharing things with them. Mom's very cute. She cries when she's happy, when she's sad, even with the smallest things. Dad's like that sometimes but most of the time he's the one calming down mom. They're really cute, they balance each other. It's like they're meant to be together.

As soon as the door of our house opened, mom greeted me with a big hug. I heard her sniffling, so I rubbed her back.

"Aww, don't cry." I chuckled and tried to cheer her up. wondered where Dad was and as if on cue, he appeared behind mom.

"She's still a cry baby." Dad jokes and we both laughed. Mom let go of me to glare at dad.

"Alright let's not fight. Let's go inside, shall we?" Dad closed the door behind us. He stood on my left side while mom stood on my right. I wrapped my arms around their shoulders as we walked to the living room.

"How are you?" Dad asked as I let go of both of them. Thankfully, mom isn't crying anymore. I placed the paper bags on the floor beside the sofa.

"Great. How 'bout you guys? How's life? Have you been eating well? Here's a package from Auntie to mom." I was helping dad set the table while mom is busy preparing their breakfast. I won't be eating, but I'll join them since I already ate at Auntie's house. They also know that I won't be eating since I notified mom that I'll stop by at Auntie's before I go here.

"Aww that woman, really. And of course we are eating well! Ah! Can you tell your dad to cut down his intake on coffee?" She complained to me while dad and I looked at each other and laughed. We both sat down.

I scratched the back of my neck. "Yeah, dad! You should cut it down." I chuckled as I saw his lips form into an "O".

"Oh, son, you don't get to tell me that because you got that from me." He sticks his tongue out. Mom placed a lot of dishes on the table and of course, rice.

"Seriously, you two, stop drinking too much coffee!" Her eyebrows met and glared at the both of us.

We sat tall and saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

She waved her hand, telling us off. "Don't bother, I know you won't listen to me." She sat down beside dad and glared at him again. Dad looked so dumbfounded which caused me to laugh. "And you, old man, I won't tolerate your 4 cups a day of coffee. I won't give you more than 2 a day."

Dad's expression was priceless. He was looking at me and mom alternately. He was trying to tell me to convince mom not to do it but I guess he should really cut down on his coffee. "Dad, I think you should listen to mom." He was about to take a spoonful of rice in his mouth but stopped.

He gaped and covered his mouth. "You guys, are you seriously doing this to me?" He acted as if he was about to burst into tears. He clinged to mom.

"Ah! Stop it, Felix. You're being such a baby again." She shook off dad and started eating.

"Says the crybaby." Dad mumbled. She heard it since she was just beside him that's why she pinched dad's ear. I laughed at their cuteness. They often do this. Mom seems too quiet and I guess she's sulking because it has been long since I last visited.

"Mom? Mom, are you mad?" I softly asked her.

She just glanced at me and continued eating. Yep, she's sulking. I looked at dad, trying to ask if he knew why mom was sulking, but he just shrugged.

I stood up, went behind mom, and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry for not visiting you. I wanted to be alone to think about things. Last time I visited you, I was so out of it and couldn't focus so I told myself I won't come back until I'm sure I'm okay. I'll make it up to you, okay?"

She stayed silent for a few minutes and pinched my arm. "I know. I'm not mad or sulking. I just missed you."

I pulled away and sat back on my seat. "Aww mom. I missed you too. I missed both of you." I placed my chin on the palm of my hand and grinned.

"Alright, you guys. Can we eat and stop with the cheesiness?" Dad asked and continued eating.

"Oh stop it, you old lad!"

"Oh stop it, killjoy!" Mom and I both exclaimed which made all of us laugh.

Over breakfast, we just catched up about the things we've done without each other. When breakfast was done, we stayed at the dining table, still talking. Both of my parents didn't have work today since it was a Sunday. Uncle being the diligent man he is, sometimes works during Sundays. Half a day only, though.

•

A sudden thought popped up in my head while we were talking to each other. "Mom, when me and D confessed about our relationship, what was really your reaction?"

I saw the both of them look at each other. They both smiled and looked at me. "What you saw was our real reaction. We weren't faking anything, honey. Well, I kinda saw that coming. Your relationship, I mean."

"We don't have any prejudice against that kind of thing, son. Love is love no matter what gender." He added and smiled at me. "We were just happy that you are happy."

I sighed in happiness. "Really, you two. I can't explain how happy I am."

Dad shrugged. "Well, what can I say, I'm pretty cool." He chuckled.

I shook my head. "Dad, stop it. It really doesn't suit you! It makes you less cool!" We all laughed with our jokes and dad kept on pushing how cool he is and mom was just giving him the disgusted look which made me laugh harder.

"But seriously, thank you. I thought you wouldn't accept what we had. I was kinda surprised that you accepted us just like that just like auntie and uncle."

"Honey, loving isn't a sin. And why wouldn't we accept your relationship?" She exclaimed. "Loving someone of the same gender and having different preferences from others doesn't make you less of a person. No matter who you love, what your gender is, you're still our son. What's more fulfilling than seeing your child happy, right? No matter who you love, if you're happy, then that reason is more than enough for us."

I cleared my throat, trying to get the lump off in there and trying to stop my tears from falling. I think I cried enough today. "You almost made me cry, mom. But thank you. I think no matter how much thank yous I give you, it still won't be enough for me to express my gratitude towards the both of you."

"Stop it, you guys! You're both turning into crybabies!" Dad exclaimed at us and when we looked at him, he was the one crying.

"Who's the crybaby now?" I smirked and we laughed at him. He was trying to stop us bullying him and tried to hide his face.

•

After I visited my parent's place, I was supposed to go home but something in me didn't want to. I just walked around the city, not really knowing where exactly to go but there was a bookstore that I passed by. I don't know, but my feet moved on their own and walked inside. I felt the books from the shelves and my fingers stopped on a certain book. It was a light blue one. The title was written on the spine of the book with the color pink.

Sea of Strangers by Lang Leav.

I hear about this author almost everyday at the campus. And something in me got curious and wanted to read something written by her.

I paid for the book and didn't get it packed since I have the paper bag that auntie gave me. I slipped it in there and went back home.

When I arrived at my condo, I immediately took a bath. After I changed into my pjs, I brought out everything in the paper bag and laid it on my bed. Wow, this is a looot of things. Dang, D, you still make me read a lot of things when you know that's the last thing I want to do.

Oh well, fine. Be thankful I love you that's why I'm doing this.

The letters, the ones that auntie showed me earlier. I'll probably read those last. The things in the box, of course, were there as well. Pictures, trophies, everything. What I was so shocked about were the books that I brought out. Maybe Auntie slipped these in. They were all from the same author.

Lang Leav.