04

Now that I think about it, he was always reading books and pushed me to read some lines because he was amazed at how the author was very good with words. He said that even though he hasn't experienced a real break up, the book makes him feel the pain of getting hurt. Sometimes he would laugh by himself or his eyes widening. He was always fond of books, maybe I should try reading some of these?

I looked up the author and her works. Ah, the one that I bought was the only one missing from all the books that was here. Is this coincidence? Let's not be cheesy and say that it's something about how lovers are somehow connected and stuff like that.

Anyway, gotta clean this up. I'll read a book if I ever change my mind. I have a class tomorrow morning. Ugh, don't like waking up early! Why did I choose that schedule in the first place. Anyway, I placed the books on my study table and the letters in a drawer.

•

"Hey, Tib!" It was Darwin again. He always does this. He randomly pops up out of nowhere and greets me. Do we have the same first class?

"Hi, Darwin." I smiled. That was sincere. It wasn't forced or anything. I appreciate him approaching me even though we aren't in the same department.

"Hey! That's the first time I saw you smile!" He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I didn't mind, though. The sudden skinship, I mean. I guess we can call each other friends so it doesn't really bother me. He's a great guy. "I look different when I smile, huh?"

He nodded. "Definitely! Anyway, what time's your class?"

"Uh.. 8:30. You?"

"9! Sorry for holding you off. It was nice having a conversation with you even though it's a short one." He frowned.

"No, it's fine. It was really nice talking to you." I held my nape. I suddenly remembered how I ignored him and the things he was talking about before when he tried to strike a conversation. "I'm really sorry for you know, not paying attention before." I awkwardly laughed.

He patted my shoulder and chuckled. "It's okay, man! No need to worry. You should probably go."

I nodded. "Alright. Bye." We were about to walk away from each other but I called his name. "Darwin, wanna grab lunch together?"

He looked surprised by my sudden invitation but eventually flashed me a wide and bright smile. He couldn't stop nodding so I stopped him.

"No need to get so hyped up about lunch, Dar." I laughed. "I gotta go. Bye!" I waved at him and left.

I attended my first class for the day. God, I almost slept in. I tried my best to not fall asleep. I mean I did, a little. But I still managed to write some notes down.

After that, I attended another class and the last one before lunch. The professors are piling up all the work this week and probably give us the exams next week. I'm too lazy for this.

"We'll conduct the mock presentation next week. That'll serve as your exam for this subject. Group project."

We all groaned when she mentioned that it'll be a group work. You know, if you get a senior as a part of your group, it's either they'll ditch every meeting and make you do the work or not show up but do some of the work. Well, I'm a senior but I'm not one of those in the choices.

I'd rather do all the work myself. Meetings are a pain in the ass. But oh well, what can I do.

We all started going to our respective groups and to my shock, Darwin was in that class and we're group mates . Thank god, someone I know.

"Tib! You're in this class? I didn't know!" He immediately stood up and gave me a high five.

I laughed and sat down. "Yep. I didn't know you were in this class, as well. Good thing we're groupmates."

We were waiting for our other group mates because right now, it's just the two of us.

After a few minutes, there were 2 girls that approached us. I'm guessing freshmans?

"H-hi. Angelique, freshman." She shyly smiled and sat down.

"Sorry, she's just very shy. Samantha, her friend." Well, this one's kinda uh.. how do I put it? Comfortable?

She sat beside her friend and we started discussing the presentation we'll be doing. We assigned parts for everyone to do.

"Just so you know, I know how lazy seniors are. You can never ditch meetings and you have to do your part or else we won't include your names." Samantha comfortably told us. More like threatening us.

I saw her friend, Angel, pull her shirt. "Hey, don't be so rude. I'm sure they'll do their part." She glanced at us and tried to smile. She's really shy, huh.

Darwin and I looked at each other and chuckled. We looked at our juniors and smiled. "Don't worry, we aren't like the image of those seniors that you have in mind. We'll definitely cooperate with everything." I bluntly said.

"Yep! So, wanna meet up tomorrow after class? Are you all free after lunch? We can start brainstorming." Darwin invited.

Sam crossed her arms and nodded. "We're free."

Darwin clasped his hands and flashed a bright smile. "Okay! See you tomorrow, then!" He's one energetic guy. Doesn't he get tired of smiling?

I just waved my hand when they left. Angel was also waving her hand but Sam kept on walking without looking back. I smiled at Angel while waving my hand.

•

"This is great. We planned on having lunch together and ended up in the same class that's before lunch." He laughed. We were on our way to a nearby fast food restaurant.

"I know. I'm as shocked as you are." I opened the door for us and let him enter first.

"Wow, a gentleman." He mocked me and laughed.

"With a handsome face. I know, I know." I answered as if it was a matter of fact. We both laughed and proceeded to order.

"This is a first. I thought you weren't into friendships or something like that. What changed your mind? I'm not telling you that you seem to be someone mean, but you looked reaaally uninterested, man!"

I shrugged. We were sitting facing each other. "Nothing, really. I just feel bad for acting uninterested."

"Alright, I'll pretend that I'll believe that." We both laughed.

"Really, believe me! You have to believe me, Dar." I mockingly begged him which caused us to laugh more.

"Yeah, I do! I believe you!"

"Now they probably think that we're weirdos." We looked around and some people were looking at us. It's not bad to be weird sometimes, you know. You can try.

"I thought you changed your mind because you finally felt lonely. You were always alone. Not that it's a bad thing. Looking at you while you're living in your own world feels satisfying, but doesn't it feel lonely?"

I comfortably leaned back on the chair and shook my head. "I like being alone. Some people may find it weird but I don't really like people surrounding me. I think people should normalize being alone."

"I know! I agree with you. Kids call you a loner when you don't have company." He mockingly cried as if he was telling me that he was being bullied.

I laughed at him. "Anyway, how's it going in your department? Profs are piling up shit this week. They'll probably drop the exams on us next week."

He massaged his temple. "Ugh! I know right. I can't with this anymore. I'm too tired with these never ending assignments. Wanna drop out together?" He joked.

"I'm down. Kidding, we're almost there. Wouldn't want to waste all the tears and all the sleepless nights." I chuckled.

"Yeah, just a little more and we'll be free. By the way, I'm famished. How long is the food gonna take?" He rubbed his belly and pouted.

And as if on cue, the food arrived. His face instantly lit up. We instantly started eating because we were both hungry. I guess I used my brain too much. It needs energy to function again.

"You have class after lunch?" He asked while inhaling his food. He eats so fast.

"Not after lunch but around 3. Why?"

He shook his head and drank his soda. "Nothing. Wanna hang out somewhere?" He smiled again.

I nodded and ate a spoonful of rice. I opened my phone to check the time. I paused when I saw the lockscreen. I always freeze when I see this picture. I don't really mind people seeing it, though.

12:30 pm.

I cleared my throat and finished my food. Darwin was quiet all of a sudden so I glanced at him and it looked like he wanted to ask me something.

"Go on. I don't mind answering your questions." I chuckled.

He took a deep breath. "Sorry, it felt like I shouldn't ask. Are you sure it's okay?" He was hesitant.

"Yep, yep. Go on."

"Boyfriend?"

I nodded without hesitating. "Does it bother you? If it does, you can freely exit from that door there."

He chuckled. "Nope. I have nothing against that type of relationship."

"Okay, cool. How 'bout you? Girlfriend? Friends with benefits? Just kidding. Tell me if my non-filtered mouth bothers you." I clicked my tongue and winked at him.

"Silly, it's okay." He laughed. "But I don't do girlfriends."

I raised my eyebrows and formed my mouth into an "o". "Ooh, playboy." I laughed and he vigorously shook his head.

"No! I just.. don't like commitments, you know. It's kinda a pain in the ass." He made a disgusted face. "And you have a lot of things to do when you do that kind of thing. I'd rather not complicate my life."

"Come on, falling in love is nice. The happiness you feel, the ticklish feeling you feel when your partner does or says something, the—"

"Omygod, stop saying cheesy things!" He waved his hand in front of me.

After lunch, we spent my remaining time before my last class at a café and continued talking about random stuff and learned things about each other. It was fun spending my time with him. He's an easy going person and you feel comfortable talking to him even if it's your first time being with him. In my case, this isn't my first time being with him but a conversation this long? Yep, first time.

We hung out until 2, I guess? He said he had somewhere to go so he left earlier. I teased him if it was a girl he was going to but he just gave me a disgusted look. That guy really cracks me up.

•

After a long day, I'm finally in my condo again. Nothing's more comfortable than my condo. I was done washing up and was just drying my hair with a towel when the book caught my attention again. It's as if it was looking at me, getting my attention, wanting to get picked up.

I sighed and laid down with the book. Alright, I'll at least try to read a few pages since I bought this. It smelled like how new books smell.

I slowly opened the book. One thing that I learned from D: treat books gently. Handle it with care. Be careful not to flip the pages aggressively since the pages are brittle, it can easily be torn.

As I read the introduction, how she explained how this book was created, her words were powerful enough to make me feel the emotions she felt while writing this. How she tells that life is full of unexpected events.

I turned to the next page slowly and while I was reading the first poem, my eyes slowly closed on its own without me noticing it.

But before I fall really deep into sleep, words from the first poem marked my mind.

"I won't ever be ready for what life throws at me."