09

Our order was ready and Darwin offered to get it. I can't really stop him. I was continuing on talking.

"Love completes you but also destroys you when you lose it. You'll feel empty-"

"You'll feel lost. You won't know where to start again. You'll be afraid to love again, to be completed by it because you know what it can do when you lose it." Sam added.

"Woah, did you ever have a boyfriend and I wasn't informed?" Her best friend was shocked at her sudden statement. Darwin brought us the food and I helped him distribute it.

"Well, you don't really get all of that in experience. Sometimes, you read it to get what it feels." She shrugged and drank her frappe.

"Smart girl." Darwin said and chuckled. He sat down beside me and we all started eating.

"I was thinking, is PDA allowed in the university? I mean, I saw Jessica and her boyfriend making out in the hallway. Not that I care but yeah." Sam told us in a serious tone.

"Well, it's kinda normal now. The school doesn't even care anymore." Darwin answered her.

"Wow, horny people." We all laughed at Angel's comment.

"Oh, I forgot to ask. What does Prof. Imee like when it comes to presentations and stuff. Everyone's stressed thinking about how to please her. She's so effin strict."

We gave her some tips because she had been our teacher. She's really picky. Even in tests, she gives such specific questions.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Tib. I think I used to see you and your guy, Diesel, on campus." I faced him and looked shocked. I didn't really mind. I was just shocked that he saw us and probably remembers what kind of things we've done.

"Really? When?"

He thinked and snapped his fingers. "Second year, I think. You guys were in the library. He was asleep and you were just looking at him." They all gasped and chuckled.

I felt my ear warm up because of embarrassment. "You probably need to delete that in your mind now."

"Hey, D. Can you help me with-" I looked at him and saw him sleeping so peacefully. He dragged me here and now he's the one asleep. Well, I guess he hasn't been sleeping well these past few days. He always stays up late.

I rested my chin on my palm while looking at him. I gently touched the dark circles under his eyes with my thumb. Aww, look at him. I should probably let him relax later.

He moved and rubbed his eyes. I guess he felt that. He was mumbling something in his sleep but I couldn't understand anything. It's his sleeping habit. He says random things and of course, munch.

"D, hey, wake up. Wanna go home?" I caressed his hair. We didn't have any more classes today so it's okay if we go now.

"Tibby. Tibby, carry me." He was still half asleep. I'm just glad that he didn't say that in a loud voice or else everyone in this room will probably know that he's my boyfriend.

I chuckled and poked his face. "Silly, we're in the library. Come on, wake up." I moved my face closer to his but covered us with a book. I gave him a quick peck and acted like nothing happened.

He instantly sat up and looked at me with big eyes. "What did you just do?" He whispered to me and I laughed at his cuteness. He still has drool on his face. I got my handkerchief and wiped it.

"Well, you weren't waking up and acting like a baby so I did that to wake you up. That's what I always do right?" I winked at him and started fixing our things.

"You should rest at home. You've been staying up late too frequently. I'll give you a massage later." I added while now fixing my stuff. He was just staring at me.

"Who are you? You aren't my Tibby! Why are you so caring?" He joked. I guess it's my first time offering him a massage.

"Hey, I'm always caring!" I defended myself. I can't stop smiling because of this guy.

"Nope! You always act like a dad."

We're walking out of the library and still was arguing about me. He kept on saying I was being weird.

"I wish I could've seen that as well. Such cuties!" Angel giggled and clasped her hands.

"Let's not talk about it. It's embarrassing me!"

"He's being shy now. I guess we should change the subject. What are you guys doing this break?" Darwin asked.

"Well, I'm not really sure about that. I'll probably be stuck at home or I might do some things." I was unsure of my plan this break. I don't really have anything exciting I can think of doing.

"Well, I'll go home to our province. I'm planning on teaching the kids in our town. They don't really have a permanent teacher so I'm gonna try and teach them what I know." Sam smiled.

"Oh, I'll be with this girl." Angel pointed at her best friend and shrugged. We kinda expected that. They're like sisters now.

"How 'bout you, Dar?" I asked Darwin.

"I'll probably look for a girlfriend." He was so serious about it but we can't help but laugh at him. "I'm kidding. No one's interested in me. And no commitments for me. Anyway, I'll just probably enjoy my free time."

"Nice idea. Free time equals more sleep. Right?" I wiggled my eyebrows and he nodded while we were laughing.

"Weirdos." The girls commented and looked at us like they were embarrassed that they're in the same table with us.

•

"See you after break. Have a great Christmas, guys." I hugged all of them and waved goodbye. I gotta pack my things and go home tomorrow. I was about to go when I thought of something.

They were still in the café so I came back. They were shocked to see me again. "I thought you were going? You left something?" He asked me but I shook my head.

Maybe I can go with them so I can be less of a coward and finally go and face Diesel. "You wanna come with me? I mean not now but a day before I go meet him?"

"What do you mean?" Angel asked, confused about what I was saying.

"I- uh. Do you want to come and accompany me because I'll be meeting Diesel." I was panting. I didn't even know why.

"Huh?! When?" They synchronously asked me.

"January 1st?" I answered, unsure.

"Of course, we'll go!" I saw them look so excited. I nodded at them and stood up properly.

"Alright. Uh.. yeah. See you? You can spend the night there on the 1st and we can come back the next day." I tapped the table. "Alright, yep. Gotta go!"

"You're really nervous, you know." Sam laughed at me.

Darwin laughed but covered his mouth. "We shouldn't really laugh. Let's help out a friend." He was trying to suppress his laughter.

"Yep. I definitely need help. Anyway, see you, okay? Be there on the 1st." I waved at them and finally went home.

•

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" I greeted them when I entered the living room.

"Welcome home! Did you have breakfast already?" Mom welcomed me with a hug. I'm guessing dad's already at work. It's a weekday afterall.

I kissed mom's forehead. "Let's eat together before you go to work."

"Alright. I still have some time left. Do you mind cooking dinner for us?" She asked me. I guess they'll be home kinda kate so they won't have time to cook.

"Of course. It'll be my pleasure. And I can also show off my skills." I chuckled and assisted her to sit down.

"Thank you. But you're becoming more like your father." She laughed and I sat down.

•

I was in my room, specifically on my study table. I was trying to list things that I wanted to do. Maybe I'll start by reading the letters from Diesel. Then I'll read all of the books that he owned.

I slowly opened the letters and by the time I finished, my eyes were all red and puffy.

Hi, Tibby! You'll probably take a long time after you finally read this. If you're reading this now, hi my Tibby! I really miss you like lots :(( I said all that I wanted to say in the other letters but I just want to remind you to be happy. Do everything you want to do. Live your life without regrets. Always remember that I'm always rooting for you. I'm your number one fan, right? Also, I'll give you the idea of the business that we talked about. You can use it. I love you, Tiberius. Even if I'm not beside you anymore.

•

By the time I woke up, it was already 5pm. I stood up with a heavy head because of all the crying. I took a cold shower and drank some medicine. I started looking inside the fridge to find ingredients that I'll use.

I started cooking and moved quickly. When the clock struck 7, both of my parents arrived and the food was ready.

"Welcome home." I greeted them.

"Wow. It smells good. Taste good as well, probably." He said as he was taking off his coat.

"Don't bother flattering me, Dad." I laughed.

"I'm just telling the truth."

Mom pulled the both of us in the dining room. "You two should start eating because I'm very hungry." She rubbed her stomach and frowned.

"Aww that's sad for you, honey. Start eating." Dad frowned as well and gave mom food.

•

"Tibby, you gonna visit him?" Mom said after a few minutes. I still can sense her hesitation in asking me that.

Dad slightly nudged mom. "Don't worry. It's okay to ask me things about him. I'll probably go visit him on his birthday. I'll be bringing some friends along. You don't mind if they sleep here for a night right?" I smiled at them.

They looked shocked. It's the first time I'm visiting him after 2 years. "Alright, sure, hon. We don't mind at all."

After dinner, I was just laying on bed, using my arm as a pillow and looking at the ceiling. I just finished reading some pages from the book. This book gives you that ache, you know. It's kinda hurting me but it's nice.

Page 45. "Love is the only thing that time cannot touch." -Lang Leav, Sea of Strangers.