Tall Tales

Sam is sitting on the couch looking through books; he rubs his face tiredly, Sarah is laying down on the bed she and Dean are sharing and Dean is sitting up on the bed behind him, listening to the radio and eating something messy chilli cheese fries from from a disposable plate. Sam was understandably annoyed and says to Dean Dude. You mind not eating those on MY bed?" Dean says "No, I don't mind." He eats another and Dean asks "How's research going?" Sarah decided to stay out of this argument it was between the two of them, Sam replies "You know how it's going? Slow. You know how it would go a heck of a lot faster? If I had my computer." Dean nods sarcastically and says "Hmm." Sam says "Can you turn that down please?" Dean says "Yeah, absolutely." He turns up the music louder and Sam says "You know what? Maybe, uh, maybe you should just go somewhere for a while." Dean shuts off the radio and looks up, snappish and says "Hey, I'd love to. That's a great idea. Unfortunately, my car's all screwed to hell." Sam says "Dean, I told you, I have nothing to do wi—" He's cut off by a loud knock on the door, Sarah stands and goes to the door; she looks through the peephole and opens the front door and it's bobby and Sarah says "Hey Bobby, thank god you turned up when you did, these two are driving me crazy." Bobby walks inside and Bobby says "Boys and Girl." Dean standing and approaches the three of them and says "Hey Bobby." Bobby says "It's good to see you again so soon." Sam says "Yeah, uh, thanks for coming. Come on in." Dean shaking Dean's hand firmly says "Thank god you're here." Bobby then says "So um, what didn't you want to talk to me on the phone about?" Sarah says "It's this job we're working. We— We weren't sure you'd believe us." Bobby scoffs and says "Well, I can believe a lot."

Sam says "Yeah, no, no, it's just, we've never seen anything like it—" Sarah says "Not even close." Sam says "And we thought we could use some fresh eyes." Bobby says "Well, why don't you begin at the beginning?" Sarah says "Yeah, um, all right." Sarah gestures to the bed, Bobby picks up the empty takeout tray and peers at it, sets it aside, and sits down and Sam says "So, it all started when we caught wind of an obit. See, a professor took a nosedive from a fourth story window, only there's a campus legend that the building's haunted. So we pretexted as reporters from the local paper."

Flashback Sam's POV in the bar night time, Sam is is sitting at a table with a stocky jock boy Curtis and an attractive girl Jen ; he sets a voice recorder down on the table and Curtis says "Yeah, we both had the professor for Ethics and Morality." Sam asks "Yeah? So why do you think he did it?" Jen Who knows? I mean, he was tenured, wife and kids. His book is like a really big deal. Then again..." She leans in conspiratorially and says "Who's to say it was suicide?" Curtis scoffing says "Jen, come on." Sam feigning surprise asks "Well, what else could it be?" Jen says "Well, you know about Crawford Hall?" Sam says "No, I don't, actually." Curtis says "It's a bunch of crap, it's a total urban legend." Jen says "Yeah well, Heather's mom went to school here, and she knew the girl?" Sam says "Wait, What girl?" Jen says "Thirty years ago, this girl was having an affair with some professor. He broke it off, she jumped out the window and killed herself." Sam asks "You know her name?" Jen replies with "No. But they say she jumped from room six-six-nine. Get it? You turn the nine upside down?" Sam nods and Curtis just laughs but Jen continues and says "So now she haunts the building. And anyone who sees her? They don't live to tell the tale." Curtis says "Well if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?" Jen says "Curtis! Shut up!" Sam says "You know what, uh – Thanks a lot guys. Excuse me.

End of Flashback

Bobby asks "Okay. What's going on with you two?" Sarah stares at the two of them waiting for an answer and then Sam says "Nothing. No— it's nothing." Bobby says "No, come on. You're bickering like an old married couple." Dean says "No, see married couples can get divorced. Me and him, we're like, uh, Siamese twins." Sam says "It's conjoined twins!" Dean says "See what I mean?" Sam says "Look." He sighs and says "we've just been on the road for too long. Tight quarters, all that. Don't worry about it." Bobby says "Okay." Sam says "So anyway. We figured it might be a haunting, so we went to check out the scene of the crime."

Flashback Sam's POV

The Janitor lets Sarah, Sam and Dean who are posing as electricians into the professor's office and Sam asks "So, how long have you been working here?" The Janitor says "I've been mopping this floor for six years." Turns on a light as the four walk into the professor's office and he says "There you go guys and girl." Seeing Sam's EMF meter and asks "What the heck's that for?" Sam says "Just find a wire in the walls." The Janitor says "Huh. Wow. Not sure why you're wiring up this office. Not gonna do the professor much good." Sarah says "Why's that?" Janitor bluntly says "He's dead." Dean asks "Oh. What happened?" The Janitor says "He went out that window. Right there." Sam says "Yeah? Yeah? Were you working that night?" The Janitor says "I'm the one who found him." Sarah asks "You see it happen?" Dean sees a bowl of nuts on the side table and eats one and the Janitor says "Nope. I just saw him come up here, and uh ... well." Sarah says "What?" The Janitor says "He wasn't alone."

Dean rejoins the three of them his cheeks stuffed with nuts, He's holding the bowl and continues eating them throughout the conversation Dean muffled says "Who was he with?" Dean's vo he says "Come on! I ate one, maybe two!" Sam's vo he says " Just let me tell it, okay?" Then the Janitor says "He was with a young lady. I told the cops about her, but uh, I guess they never found her." Sarah asks "You saw this girl go in, huh? But did you ever see her come out?" Janitor says "Now that you mention it, no." Sam asks "You ever see her before, around?" The Janitor says "Well, not her." Dean still muffled; Sam and Sarah glares at him and he says "What do you mean?" The Janitor says "I don't mean to cast aspersions on a dead guy, but uh . . . Mister Morality here? He brought a lot of girls up here, Got more ass than a toilet seat." Sarah asks "One more thing. This building, it only has four stories, right?" The Janitor says "Yeah." Sam asks "So there wouldn't be a room six-six-nine?" The Janitor says "'Course not. Why do you ask?" Sam says "Aw, just curious. Thanks."

The three of them return to the hotel and Sarah goes into the bathroom, Sam sits at the table and Dean gets a beer out of the fridge for each of them and Sam says "Well, no traces of EMF, that's for sure." Dean says "And the room six-six-nine's a load of crap." Sarah comes out of the bathroom and Dean hands her a beer and she says "Thanks, So what do you think? The professor's just a jumper? A legend's just a legend?" Dean says "I don't know. I mean, the uh, girl the janitor described, that's pretty weird." Sam says "Yeah." Dean says "We oughta check out the history of the building. See if any co-ed ganked herself there." Sam says "Yeah, you're right." he opens up his laptop, then stares at the screen, confused and then asks Dean "Dude. Were you on my computer?" Dean comes back out of the bathroom, confused and says "No." Sarah walks over to Sam and looks at the screen and she says "Oh really? 'Cause it's frozen now. On uh, Bustyasianbeauties.com." She looks at Dean and he thinks for a moment, frowns, winces, and retreats and Sam says "Dean! Would you – just – don't touch my stuff anymore, okay?" Dean says "Why don't you control your O.C.D.?"

END OF FLASHBACK 2

Bobby says "But did you dig up anything about the building? Or on the suicidal co-ed?" Sarah says "No. History's clean." Bobby says "Then it's not a haunting." Dean says "Maybe not. Tell you the truth, we're not really sure." Bobby says "What do you mean, you're not sure?" Sam says "Well ... it's weird." Bobby asks "What's weird?" Dean says "This next part, we uh, we didn't see it happen ourselves exactly, but it's pretty friggin weird. Even for us."

FLASHBACK DEANS POV

Outside Crawford Hall it was dark and Curtis walks alone through the campus. He hears a noise and turns, startled, then keeps walking, laughing at himself he hears another noise and stops, looking straight up. He walks more carefully, hands in pockets, Suddenly a bright light whooshes on overhead and he cringes, arms over his head. He starts running, but trips and falls; a bright beam of light shoots down and grabs him like a tractor beam, pulling him up. He screams and flails.

Back in the Hotel Bobby says "Aliens?" Dean says "Yeah." Bobby says "Aliens?" Sarah says "Yeah." Bobby says "Look, even if they are real, they're sure as hell not coming to earth and swiping people." Dean says "Hey, believe me We know." Bobby says "My whole life i've never found evidence of an honest-to-God abduction. It's all just cranks and pranks." Sam says "Yeah, that's what we thought. But...we figured we'd at least talk to the guy."

FLASHBACK SARAH'S POV

In the bar Dean and Sarah seated next to Curtis , who has three full shot glasses lined up in front of him. Sam is standing nearby and Curtis takes a shot and Dean says "Hey, you ought to give those purple nurples a shot." Sarah asks "So, what happened, Curtis?" Curtis says "You won't believe me, Nobody does." Sam says "Give us a chance." Curtis says "I do not want this in the papers." Dean says to Curtis "Off the record, then." Curtis says "I, uh... I blacked out, and...I lost time, and when I woke up, I don't know where I was." In a mysterious place, Curtis lying on a medical table, bright lights in his eyes a blurry alien face appears above him, Sam sitting down and then says "Then What?" Curtis says "They did tests on me. And, uh...They, uh... They probed me." Sam turns his face away, struggling not to laugh and Sarah says "They probed you?" Curtis says "Yeah, they probed me. Again and a— Again and – And again, And again and again and again... And then one more time." Dean says "Yikes." Curtis says "And that's not even the worst of it." Dean says "How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch." He smirks, Curtis glares at Dean, he smirk goes away Curtis says "They... They made me... Slow dance!" In the Mysterious Place, Curtis is slow dancing with an Alien figure and Bobby says to the three of them "You guys are exaggerating again, huh?"

END OF FLASHBACK

Back in the Hotel, Sam says "No no." Bobby says "Then this frat boy's just nuts." Dean says "We're not so sure." FLASHBACK 5 unknown POV campus day Sarah, Sam and Dean are standing over a large, perfectly round scorch mark in the ground and Sarah says "I'm telling you, Dean, This was made by some kind of jet engine." Dean says "You mean some saucer-shaped jet engine?" Sam says "What else could it be?" Dean says "What the hell?" Sam says "I don't know." Dean says "Seriously, dude – What the hell?" Sam says "I don't know." 301 00:18:50,800 – > 00:18:52,600 I mean, first the haunting. Now this? The timing alone – There's got to be some kind of connection."Dean says "You mean between the angry spirit and the sexed-Up E.T.? What could the connection possibly be?" Dean VO says "But what could we do? So we just kept on digging." Dean POV and They are talking with another college student and Sarah says "So, you and this guy, Curtis – You were in the same house?" The Student says "Yeah." Dean says "You heard what happened to him, right?" The Student says "Yeah, he says it was aliens, but, you know, whatever." Sam says with exaggerated Concern and says "Look, man, I – I know this all has to be so hard." The Student says "Um, not so much." Sam says "But I want you to know... I'm here for you and you brave little soldier, I acknowledge your pain come here." He grabs the student into him and hugs him and says "You're too precious for this world."

Back in the Hotel says "I never said that!" Dean says "You're always saying pansy stuff like that." The Flashback resumes and the student says "Well, um... Yeah, uh, thanks." Sam releases him and the student says "Thanks for the hug, but, uh, I'm okay. Really. To tell you the truth, whatever happened to Curtis, he had it coming." Sarah says "Why is that?" The Student says "He's our pledge master. Put us through hell this semester, and got off on it, So now he knows how we feel." Dean to Sam says "It's okay." Dean, Sarah and Sam return to their hotel room, Dean says "Still doesn't make a lick of sense. But, hey, at least there's one connection." Sarah says "Between what?" Dean says "The victims. The professor and the frat guy – They're both dicks." Sam says "That's a connection?" Dean says "You got anything better to go on, i'd love to hear it." Sam looks in his bag and says "Where's my laptop?" Dean says "I don't know." Sam continues to search, getting more frustrated and dean continues and says "Think about it. A philandering professor gets a dead girl. A pledge master gets hazed." Sam says "I left it in here." Dean says "You obviously didn't. I mean, these punishments—they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still –" Sam approaches Dean and says "Okay, hilarious. Ha ha. Where'd you hide it?" Dean says "What, your computer?" Sam says "Yeah, where'd you hide it?" Dean says "Why would I take your computer?" Sam says "Because no one else could have, Dean! We keep the door locked, We never let any maids in and Sarah has her own Laptop so it can't be her." Dean says "Looks like you lost it, Poindexter." Sam says "Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you." Dean asks "What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around." Sarah doesn't say anything and Sam says "Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge." Dean says "What's wrong with my food?" Sam says "It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism All I ask from you, the one thing, is that you don't mess with my stuff! Dean asks "You done?" Sam says "You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?" Dean says "It'd be the last thing you ever did."

Bobby asks Sam "Did you take his computer?" Dean to Sam says "Serves him right, but, no." Sam says "Well, I didn't lose it. 'Cause I don't lose things." Dean says "Oh, that's right, yeah, 'cause he's Mr. Perfect." Bobby looks to Sarah and says "Okay, okay. Why don't you just tell me what happened next?" Sarah says "There was one more victim." Sam says "Right. Now, we, we didn't see this one ourselves, either. We kind of put it together from the evidence. But this guy – He was, uh, he was a research scientist. Animal testing." Dean says "Yeah, you know – a dick. Which fits the pattern."

FLASHBACK SIX

Campus night time, Research Scientist leaves a campus building, heading towards the street he sees something shiny in the gutter and stops and he looks around cautiously, then gets down on hands and knees to see it better. It is a gold watch he smiles and looks excited, He gets all the way down and sticks and arm through the gutter bars, trying to reach it and he struggles. Close on his face as something grabs him screaming and struggling as blood spatters on his face.

In the morgue night time, Three flashlights shine through a window A window latch slides aside as Sam opens it from the outside with a small knife. Dean VO says "Cops didn't release the cause of death 'cause they had no clue what the cause was." Sam VO says "So, we checked it ourselves." Flashlight in hand, Sam crawls through the window and Dean says "Hey." [tosses his flashlight to Sarah who climbs in after Sam and Dean climbs through the window and once through he closes the window and Dean opens a body drawer and shines his light through, He grimaces and says "Well, this oughta be quick." They slide the drawer out and gingerly peel off the bloody blanket, revealing extremely mangled remains and Sarah says "OK, that is just nasty." Sam holding his hand to his mouth and nose, and speaking muffled while trying not to breathe through his nose and says "Un, Yeah."Dean asks "Mutilated?" Sam says "Looks to me like something was hungry." Sarah asks "They identify him yet?" Sam says "Yeah, uh, a research scientist at the college. Guess where his office was, by the way. Crawford Hall, same as the professor." Dean says "That's right where the frat boy had his close encounter." Sam says "Yeah. Hey, grab me that thing, would you?" Sarah slides a magnifying light over to Sam , who peers through it at the corpse and Dean asks "What is it?" Sam says "Looks like a... A belly scale?" Sarah asks "A belly scale? From what?" Sam says "Uh... An alligator?" Dean says "An alligator in the sewer,Come on."

Sam says "What? Well, Dean, it's a classic urban legend, A kid flushes a baby gator down the toilet, and it grows huge in the tunnels." Dean says "But no one's ever really found one. I mean, th – they're not real." Sarah says "Well, neither's alien abduction, but something chomped on this guy." Dean says "This couldn't get any weirder." Sarah says "Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby. Maybe he's run into something like this before." Dean says "Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig. Yeah, it's simple." Sam present says "We decided to search the sewer anyway, so we split up, each taking one end of campus." Bobby says "D'you find anything?" Dean says "Yeah, I found something, just not in the sewer." Campus Night, Dean emerges from the sewer and enters the alley where the impala is parked and All four tires are flat, Dean says "Son of a bitch!" He circles the car and finds a money clip on the ground, engraved with "S.W." and he says "Sam."

Back in the Hotel Sarah is laying on the bed, Sam is reading a book as Dean enters and says "You think this is funny?" Sam says "It depends. What?" Dean says "Th-th-th-the car!" Sarah looks up and says "What about the car?" Dean says "Sam here let the air out of the tires, you idiot. You're gonna bend the rims!" Sam says "Whoa, wait a minute. I didn't go near your car." Dean says "Oh, yeah? Huh. Then how'd I find this" holds up the money clip. Sam pats his pocket, stands and says "Hey. Give me back my money!" Dean says "Oh, no, no. Consider it reparations. For, uh, emotional trauma." Sam says "Yeah, very funny Now, give it back." He reaches for it and Dean says "No." Sarah stays out of their argument and then Sam says "Dean, I have had it up to here with you." Dean says "Yeah? Right back at you!" Sam reaches for the money again; Dean avoids, Sam grabs at him again, tackles him to the bed. They scuffle and fight like kids and Dean says "Come on! Get off of me!"

Bobby interrupts and says "Okay, I've heard enough." Sarah says "You showed up about an hour after that." Bobby looks at Dean and Sam and says "I'm surprised at you two. I really am. Sam, first off, Dean did not steal your computer." Sam says "But I –" Bobby holds up his hand and says "Shh, shh, shh, shh! And, Dean, Sam did not touch your car." Sam looks at Dean and says "Yeah!" Bobby says "And if you two bothered to pull your heads outta your asses, it all would have been pretty clear." Sarah says "What?" Bobby says "What you're dealing with." Sam says "Uh...." Dean says "I got nothing." Sarah doesn't have a clue and then Bobby says "You got a trickster on your hands." Dean snaps and says "That's what I thought." Sarah and Sam look at Dean and she says "What?! No, you didn't." Bobby says "I got to tell you... you guys were the biggest clue." Sam says "What do you mean?" Bobby says "These things create chaos and mischief as easy as breathing, and it's got you so turned around and at each other's throats, you can't even think straight." Sam says "The Laptop."Dean says "The Tires." Bobby says "It knows you're onto him, and it's been playing you like fiddles." Sarah says "Wait why hasn't he done anything to me?" Bobby looks at her and says "Probably he finds you attracted and doesn't want to hurt you." Dean asks "So, what is it, what, what, spirit, demon, what?" Bobby says "Well, more like demigods, really. There's Loki in Scandinavia. There's Anansi in West Africa. Dozens of them. They're immortal, and they can create things out of thin air. Things as real as you and me. Make them vanish just as quick." Sarah says "You mean like an angry spirit or an alien or an alligator." Bobby says "The victims fit the M.O., too. Tricksters target the high and the mighty, knock them down a peg, usually with a sense of humor – deadly pranks, things like that." Dean asks "Bobby what do these things look like?"

Bobby says "Lots of things, but human, mostly." Sarah says "And what human do we know who's been at ground zero this whole time?" Both Sam and Dean frowns they both gets it. At the Janitor's house The Janitor is flipping through a copy of Weekly World News and he reads the headline 'AN ALIEN MADE ME ITS LOVE SLAVE' and he says "Oh, that's a good one." The Trickster in a tacky swinger's pad: velvet armchair, wildly patterned walls, huge mirrors. He's wearing a white tank top and red satin boxers. He whistles to a small, energetic dog, who comes bounding towards him and he says "Come here." He picks up the dog and says "Could you eat? I could eat. Come on." He gets up and circles to the kitchen, holding a champagne flute. The kitchen table is covered in lavish sweets and then he says "Something's missing." Two scantily clad women appear behind him: one blonde, one brunette; he takes whipped cream on one finger and holds it out; the brunette on his left licks it off and then says "That's better."

The Janitor/Trickster locks a gate with a key attached to his belt, Sam, Sarah and Dean follow him up a staircase and the Janitor says "Sorry I'm dragging a little ass today, boys and Lady had quite the night last night Lots of sex, if you catch my drift." Dean says "Yeah, hard not to. Listen, we won't be long." Dean signals to Sam behind Tricksters back and then says "We just need to check a couple offices up on three." Trickster says "No problem." Sam says "I, uh, forgot something in the truck. You know what? I'll catch up with you guys." Sarah says "Okay." They turn and begin ascending the stairs again, Sam waits until they're out of sight, then hurries back to the locked gate, pulling out his lockpicking tools. He enters, and rummages through lockers until he finds a copy of the Weekly World News, with the headline "Aliens Abduct Cheerleaders", in one of the lockers.

Outside of the building Sarah, Sam and Dean exits and Sam says "Just 'cause he reads the Weekly World News doesn't mean he's our guy. I mean, you read it, too." Dean says "I'm telling you, it's him." Sam says "Look, I just think we need some hard proof. That's all." Sarah says "Okay, another thing Bobby mentioned was that these suckers have a metabolism like an insect, a real sweet tooth." Sam says "Well, I didn't find any candy bars or sugar. Not even Equal." Dean says "Eh, that's probably 'cause you missed something." Sam says "I don't miss things." Dean says "Oh, right, 'cause you're Mr. Perfect." Sam says "What? Are you really still pissed at me 'cause of what the trickster did?" Dean says "You been a tight ass long before that trickster showed up." They stare at each other, From an upper window, Janitor/Trickster is watching them and Sam says "Look, just...stay here, keep an eye on the janitor with Sarah and I'll go to his place to see if I can find any actual evidence before you go barging in and staking the man! Just wait till I get back, okay? Okay?" Sarah says "Okay."

Dean and Sarah are waiting impatiently and after sometime Dean says "Screw this come on Sarah." Sarah and Dean enters the building, poking around cautiously with his flashlight. As he and Sarah goes up the last staircase they both puts the flashlights away and pulls out a large wooden stake each,They hear something behind them Barry White, tucks the stake into their jackets, and enters the theater. The Trickster is sitting in the audience and looks over at the two, Sarah notices him and so does Dean and he says "Well, then you know that I... can't let you just keep hurting people." The Trickster says "Come on! Those people got what was coming to them. Hoisted on their own petards. But you and Sam and your gorgeous girlfriend – I like you, I do so treat yourself... Long as you want. Just long enough for me to move on to the next town." Sarah was grossed out and said "Really one we aren't doing it in front of you we'll do that in private." Dean says "Yeah, i don't think I can let you do that." The Trickster says "I don't wanna hurt you or Sarah here and you know that I can." Dean says "Look, man, I – I got to tell you, I dig your style, all right? I mean, I do. I mean and the slow-dancing alien –" The trickster says "One of my personal favorites. Yeah." Dean says "But, uh, I can't let you go."

The Trickster says "Too bad. Like I said, I like you two, You two should've come with more back up." Sarah says "Well, I'll agree with you there." The door slams shut the trickster looks back up the stairs to see Sam , just entered, with a large stake of his own. Bobby stands at the top of the next aisle, also with a stake and the trickster says "That fight you guys had outside – that was a trick?" Dean smiles and the trickster says "Hm. Not bad. But you want to see a real trick?" A masked man with a chainsaw appears near Sam, The brunette and Blonde hair girl attacks, Dean and Sarah, the trickster watches, entertained, as Bobby and Sam grapple with Chainsaw man Sarah and Dean fights the two women and the trickster says "Ah, ha ha. Watching the action, chewing a sandwich." Trickster says "Ooh." As both Sarah and Dean take a second hit Ooh! They throw Dean into the seats near the trickster and he starts clapping and says "Nice toss, ladies! Nice show, Dean... Dean, Dean, Dean." Sarah tosses a stake to Dean and says "I did not want to have to do this." Dean stabs the trickster and says "Me neither." As Dean grinds in the stake, Chainsaw man and the woman disappear, Dean pulls the stake out, and the Trickster falls, dead, into a seat.

Sam, Sarah and Bobby approaches and Dean asks "Hey, you three okay?" Sarah says "Yeah. I guess." Dean says "Well, I gotta say... he had style." Sarah helps Dean out of the building, Sam and Bobby follow, Sam says "Bobby, thanks a lot. We really couldn't've—" Bobby says "Hey, save it! Let's just get the hell out of dodge before somebody finds that body." Sarah says "Yeah." Sam pausing at the car says "Look, Dean, um... I just want to say that I'm, uh... Um..." Dean says "Hey. Me too." They look at each other and each nod, Bobby comes back out of the car for a moment and says "You guys are breaking my heart. Could we please just leave?" Sarah says "Yeah bobby has a point can we leave." Sam and Dean exchange a look over the top of the car, get in, and drive away.