Feeling down (5)

(Lilla's POV).

I woke up to a dark room and a panic attack, I desperately looked for James, finding myself alone once again. "Daddy?", I coughed, realizing how bad sleeping and crying had made me feel. I was definitely sick.

"I'm here, love. Everything's okay", he quickly came in the room to hug me. "How are you feeling?".

"Not great", I said, pouting. I wanted to fully open up to him about my past, I needed someone to know, someone who could listen and understand me. Sadly, I knew that was never going to happen, I could never tell him every detail. The things money can do are terrifying and we became its victims, my brother would never rest in peace. If my dad ever asked, looking straight into my eyes, if I told anyone the truth, I knew I wouldn't be able to lie. The scariest part was that not only would I be in danger, James would be too.

"It's time for lunch, do you want me to cook anything special for you?", he asked.

"Nuh uh, it hurts too much to eat".

"Ohh, I see. Then I'll go make some tea and bring you medicine, you really need it", he got up and smiled at me, "you're really strong, kitten".

I giggled, accidentally making my cough worse.

"Yep, time for medicine and some ginger tea. Pick a movie, I'll be back soon", he kissed my forehead before leaving the room. I picked The Little Mermaid and paused it until he came back. He brought delicious tea and cookies and we started eating.

"I almost forgot! You need your medicine, come here, little one".

I got closer to him and pouted, "I don't want it, daddy".

"It's strawberry flavored, who loves strawberries?", he said, holding the spoon close to my mouth. "Come on, be a good girl for daddy, you can do it".

I took it and hearing daddy say I was a good girl made it worth it. "I want snuggles", he snuggled me, kissed my forehead and gave me my favorite stuffie. My entire body hurt, I didn't want to move for the rest of the day and having him there with me was really helpful, but I was so scared he'd disappear one day too, just like my brother. I hugged him tightly and hid my face in his chest while he played with my hair.

"You're safe with daddy, everything is going to be okay", he kissed my nose.

We spent the rest of the day snuggling in bed until it was time for dinner, the medicine helped and I was craving something yummy! Daddy agreed to make fries and we decided to go to the living room to watch cartoons together. We brought blankets, stuffies, popcorn, chocolate, and we forgot about everything else.

"I'm bored, hmm... should daddy get coloring books? We have a few hours until your bedtime", he said.

"Yes, yes, yes!", it had been a while since we colored together and I was really excited.

Daddy brought coloring pencils and books, making me choose one for him to color. I gave him one full of unicorn drawings and kept the dogs one for myself. We sat on the carpet and started coloring together.

"That's a cute pink dog!", he said, looking at my book.

I giggled, "mhm, look daddy there's flowers on her head, she looks like me!".

"True, we should go outside tomorrow to get some fresh air and daddy can make a flower crown just for you".

I gasped, "yes! I want, please daddy!", I begged him.

"We will, love", he kissed my nose.

I yawned, "I'm tired". I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Come here, kitten", he took my hand after putting the coloring books away, leading me to our room where he helped me get in the blankets. He snuggled me while humming to help me fall asleep.

"Thank you for making me feel so safe", I said in a sleepy tone.

"I'm your daddy, I'll always do everything I can to make you feel that way. Now go to sleep, princess, daddy loves you".

"I love you too, dada", I said before he gently lifted my chin and kissed me softly, I smiled and hugged him tightly, falling asleep in his arms.