Cause of death.

"So what are we doing? What's your plan now?" What can we do now actually? We can get killed with a single sweep of his palm.

"That's a good question… We can wait for him to just bleed to death but we don't have time for it. So… We are gonna go closer. I will be the first since I am a lot faster than you." He explained. That sown hesitation into my head. There is a high chance that the bear is… Pretending. A very high chance.

"What if he is pretending?" I asked him since he is the one who has helped me the most ever since I came here.

"Then I will dodge it. Don't worry, I'm pretty fast. You know that! When we fought you couldn't keep up haha." He chuckled and started walking a little faster and I was right behind. The bear laying on the ground and breathing very intensely because of the blood oozing out of the wound, dark red blood that seemed of a denser consistency than normal.

We were walking to the almost dead animal, very slowly. It's really scary. That almost dead bear probably has enough strength to kill the both of us with a single hit.

"Be quiet." He whispered right to my ear so quietly that I almost didn't hear it. We were getting closer and that motion seemed incredibly slow, very scary.

We got close, really close. Maybe five steps away from it. I am looking at the large mass of flesh and fur laying on the ground leaning against the tree with its back. Estel is in a position to stab the bear with the spear in his hands, the strong muscles being completely strengthened to get through the whole body.

A short moment, so short that it almost didn't exist. The bear moved his paw and with its claws went right through the shirt. Shredding it almost to the point of no existence. Estel was almost cut but was able to fall back at the perfect time, so only the shirt was shredded, not him. It seems that he got really lucky there, just a centimeter more and the blood would flow.

The sweep felt very sloppy though, it was fast but the bear put the rest of his strength to it and that's why there was nothing more the animal could do. It was just laying in the pool of its own blood and leaves covered in hoarfrost. Estel went to a position with the spear above his head, prepared to strike down with the pike. Dark eyes of the beast looked on both of us, I saw pain. Excruciating pain in him.

"Wait…" I told him and he didn't finish the movement. He only stared at me. I came closer to the bear, his huffing. That almost killing breath that smells really disgusting but I have to pull through it. I looked at him from up close. Seeing the animal almost dead with a body that could withstand a hundred men. "Good boy." I patted the bear's head with a true feeling behind it. I understand the pain of being impaled several times very well and not only that. The pain of leaving to a dark place where there is nothing… Even as an animal, they also must have some thoughts. Maybe not many but some… I patted the bear for a short time and a little longer. Then I nodded with a short gesture, up and down. Then moved away from the bear that seemed to accept it's fate completely. That there were no more regrets after I just patted him, was that the same thing as it was with Lucas? When he hugged me and put me into a cry… Isn't that the same? A stranger patted you on the head and told you something… Good?

Then I saw the spear just penetrate him. The bear that I just patted, the animal that hasn't done anything wrong actually. He just followed his beastly monstrous instincts that were calling for more food. That's so… Unfair. His own food killed him, kind of ironic but not funny. The dead body… The dark blood intensified the horror of killing something. Even though it wasn't me completely, but I led him to the spear that took his life.

"I'm sorry…" I murmured under my nose and patted the dead animal one more time. This time though… The dead body, senseless corpse right under my leg.

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked me, he may be a very smart person but maybe he doesn't understand something.

"I… Am not sure." This was the very first thing besides bugs that I've led to death. The first existence that I've dispersed from the world. I wonder… If I get out and will follow the plan of saving people from the same fate as mine… How many would I have to kill?

This thought followed me for the entire time of cutting the bear into pieces that we can take with us. Since I am not as muscular as the elf beside me, I can't take as much as he does. The legs, the tenderloin, the ribs, and other cuts of the meat not counting the insides of course. The smell penetrated my nostrils as the almost fresh fecal was still gushing out of the intestine. I was about to puke but then remembered that I was the one to lead that animal to its demise. A crippling thought…

He was done, the very dark meat of the bear. A tough and dark red meat with a lot of muscle. I took two legs with me and Estel took the tenderloin that was still very freshly gushing out blood from the cut off limb.

Estel indeed is strong… It was already confirmed before because of the thrust but now it seems even more intimidating as the amount of meat he is carrying might be as large as himself but multiplied by three. My shirt is stained in blood and Estel's almost destroyed one is also stained in it. The blood was flowing on his body as well, almost like a lake that recently got another outlet.

"It won't take us long, be sure to not let the meat fall down." He said and afterward, he started going in the way of the cave. I looked up at the sky and the sun was very slowly getting to the middle of the sky. It must be around ten to eleven at this point and another eleven hours to leave… The monsters… We need to be there before them and hope that the general will also be there earlier. But is he going to protect us?

I didn't say a word, the thought of killing someone is still there. If I will have to kill a human… A real human! Walking, talking, thinking human! Am I gonna think about it? Am I going to apologize to him? What about families? About children… But what if that one bastard that I will kill was the same as my father? What if all fathers are like that? I can't think about it now! Hayden stop! Just… Stop. Go on and don't think about it anymore.

"But how can I not think about it! I just killed something with a soul!" I screamed in my mind without holding back my voice.

"It wasn't your hand thrusting its body." Another voice answered from a void inside my mind. Who is that? Oh yeah… That's me.

"I led him to its death! Isn't that the same as killing it on my own!?" The real me asked… Myself? Why am I talking to myself? Who is the second to me, is that really… Me? And what are those questions? Too many, too many!

"It wasn't your plan." The voice wants to make me innocent… But I know I am guilty. What's the point in having the second me then?

"It wasn't but I executed it. I didn��t even ask him about it!" Since I was screaming to myself, the screams were resonating in my mind.

When I opened my eyes again. I opened them without realizing the fact that I even closed them, and what's the chance of me not falling without looking? We were back at the entrance. The dark entrance is still being covered with wood. Why did it appear dark? It was so bright before… So beautiful? What is going on with everything around me? The deaths are quick. They disappear instantly almost, like stars from time to time. I gasped loudly while looking at the sky, it seemed darker even in the cloudless day.

We entered the cave where the fire was still very nice and warm. The blood is still flowing down our bodies. We both put the meat behind the entrance together with the rests of the boar still there. Matthew was awake and all of them, sitting and looking at the fire as always. They aren't even aware of the first kill… Or am I the only one caring about killing someone? Am I the psychopath or are they psychopaths? At this point… I can't know.