Of course, the thing I suspected happened, I am laying in the bed for hours at this point. It feels like an eternity. I can't tire myself out because I can't leave the room or the house? It doesn't matter, there is no way for me to tire myself. Lily is sleeping in the bed next to mine while I am looking at the ceiling. The thing is made of white and golden laces stacked upon each other. I want to leave, I want to walk around, to see people and meet with Brun. I have an odd urge for something. I know for what, for death. I feel like I want to kill someone or something. I- Am I becoming a monster? Am I just losing my mind at this point? Because I lost normal feelings I have to fill that empty void with something, and it happens to be killing? What's the point of living like that…