Misused of Words

"How long will you keep doing this, El?" my mother began, with her arms crossed. I didn't even have the energy to fight with her right now.

"..Mom.." I caressed my brow, "..Not now, please..Let's talk tomorrow, so say all you want.."as I climbed the stairs which fazed mom.

"Wh..What..How dare you talk back at me?!" she shrieked, I avoided her call.

"Come back here, El! Louella!" she yelled once more as I shut the door of my room.

As soon as I went to my bed, I grabbed for my phone and listened to music at the fullest volume to not hear my mom. Rolled in my bedsheets as I ponder.

It's not that I don't really know anything about him. It's him not letting me really know. He's locking himself up, not even letting one in. It's like a void. A dark void. Nothing but emptiness and him. A never ending dark void that consumes everything, so your left feeling nothing. Empty. Nothing to subside your hollow soul that creeps in the shadows, away from any other human life because it's emptiness is so consuming it cannot bare to pretend that everything is okay. Nothing is okay! People walk around this earth each day and pretend that everything is okay, and it always will be. Why can't we all just admit that we are just hollow plastic dolls with a painted happy face revealing no guilt, sadness, emptiness - emotion.

"..Good morning.." I greeted.

"Hey.." he yawned.

We're alone again. The two of us. In the same room. Same spot as always. I went here without seeing my mother because she wasn't home. Thankfully, I escaped two hours of lectures because of this and that.

He opened his case and picked up his violin and bow as he tunes him. I observe him quietly as he glides the rosin through the horse hair.

"What? You want to play the violin?" he asked, giving me the violin. I shook my head and laughed lightly, "No, silly. I was waiting for you to finish so that we can start"

"..Oh..Give me a minute then"

And so a minute has passed and he was done preparing. Tuning his violin was easy for it wasn't really out of tune.

And with that, we started playing. A beautiful, majestic song composed by Bach. However, he's not really feeling it so I stopped. He was surprised by the sudden stop so he asked why.

"You're not into it"

"What do you mean? I am into it"

"No..Is something wrong, Aaron?"

He ran his fingers through his hair, "No, nothing's wrong. Let's continue" as he continues to play yet I don't.

"..Lou..?"

"Let's take a break"

"What? We just started"

"Remember what you told me?.. In order to play, you must feel the music. You first need to love music..So, in this moment. Do you love music?"

he answered immediately, "I love music with all my heart, Lou. What are you talking about?"

I stared at him hard as I could, "I'm talking about how you're not feeling like playing today and you look pissed to top it all that.."

"I wouldn't be pissed if you keep pushing me like this..What do you know about me? Nothing right? So stop. I love music with my soul and heart...You know what? Yes, let's stop for today" as he puts his violin on his case.

"Wh..what? Where are you going?" I asked yet he ignores me. "Aaron..You can't be suddenly mad just because I doubted that you love music, can you?" I laughed lightly.

He dropped the pieces so loudly it made me flinch, "Yes. I can! You don't know how music helped me so you go back to your mother and lick her feet or something" as he abruptly left with his violin on his back.

"What?! Aaron!" I shouted but he only waved and there, he was gone.

"..Well..that was...rare..Seeing Mr. Go lucky suddenly getting mad, wonder who can make him mad?" Blythe suddenly entering the room.

"..You heard..?"

"Not a single word" as she raises her hand up in the air.

I sighed, "I don't even get why he got so mad"

"Hey, I know we're not yet really that close, but I can somehow tell it's your fault. Maybe he doesn't want you to know something and you've pushed him too far"

I sat down and forressed my brow, "..What do I do..?"

"Uh..Apologize, maybe?"

I stayed quiet for a while to gather my thoughts. After a while, I mumbled "..Right.."

"So you wanna play?" as I relaxed myself. I will wait for him here and if he won't come, I'll go to his house directly.

"..Wh..what? Me play with you? That's impossible. You're so great and I'm just nobody. I can't possibly play with you..."

"You're shy? Come on, it's not like I'm gonna eat you..geez"

Her eyes shined brightly as she gets closer to me, "Are you serious!?"

"Yes..And please don't shout, you're hurting my eardrums..." and she nodded lightly. Although, Aaron has a big mouth, I'm always comfortable with him so its okay.

And so we played until Sir Ice came and we had our rehearsal. Aaron was nowhere to be seen.

"I don't see Aaron, where is he? It's so quiet without him" he laughed lightly.

Blythe's eye shifted to me slowly so I rolled my eyes.

"He said be wasn't feeling well.." I lied which made Blythe grinned so wide.

"..Is that so..Well, let's continue, shall we.."

Blythe sat next to me and poked my stomach, "Stomachache, is that what you call it now? fufu" trying to hold back his laughter.

"Be quiet. I'll talk to him later"

She became even more interested which made her look at me, "Oh really? How will you do that? You think a simple sorry can make up all the pain you've caused him?"

"..What..?" I'm shocked as she sounded very serious right now.

"It's not that serious, Blythe"

"How can you tell it's not that serious hmm?"

I didn't answer her.

She sighed, "Well whatever. Make up with your boyfriend soon before I take him away.."

"..He's not my boyfri—wait what..?"

She shrugged and didn't say anything more.

I still don't get it. Why would he get mad over what I said.. I don't get it. Nevertheless, it's my fault. again. Why do I keep making mistakes.

Only 300 days before he dies.