Chapter 10

I woke up to small whispers coming from the doorway. I look over towards the door. My vision was still a little blurry from just waking up, but I could make out Hope's parents.

"Hey, sorry to wake you, just wanted to let you know that Hope will be back a bit later today. We just need to go to the doctor to check on Hope after that nose bleed. Hope said you could hang out here if you'd like." Hayley informed me. I look over to confirm Hope wasn't in bed.

"Where is she now?" I questioned.

"She's down in the car, waiting. She fell back asleep in the car." I nodded.

"Okay, well, I'm going to go ahead and head back home. When Hope wakes up, just tell her to call me.

Around four in the afternoon, I heard a small knock on mine.

"Come in." I hollered towards the door. I heard the door open and saw Hope pop her head into my room.

"Are you ready?" She said, smiling.

"Ready for what?" I am so confused right now.

"Come on; we're going boating and fishing!" Her voice grew more excited towards the end of what she was saying.

"I don't remember signing up for this." She rolled her eyes. She entered my room all the way, strode across towards me with a smirk on her face, and had the audacity to yank me by my foot off the bed. I yelped, falling onto the floor with a huge thump.

"Is everything okay up there?" I heard my mom's voice holler up the stairs.

"Oh, she's just fine, Lailah." Hope hollers down towards my mom. She turned back to me with another smirk on her face.

"Just giving your daughter here a pleasant awakening." I could hear my mom laugh a bit from downstairs. I looked over to find Hope laughing.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, laugh it up! Okay so boating, and fishing, huh?" She just smiled and nodded her head vigorously up and down. She stopped mid nod, losing the smile from her face, looked at me with wide eyes and gasps.

"Wait, do you know how to fish, because I have no idea?" She says, panicking. I picked myself up off the floor, rubbing my aching butt bone.

"Yeah, I do. Shit, I Hope I think you broke my ass." I groaned out.

"You're fine; You're a big girl. Now pack up." She turned around and walked out of the room.

I got everything packed up that we may need. My mom packed us lunch, and my dad let us take his fishing poles and gear. Apparently, Hope has already rented us a boat. This should be fun and exciting.

"So how far away is this place?" I ask as I keep my focus on the road.

"Not too much longer. Just take the third left, and we'll be at the docks." I saw her hand point in the direction up ahead on my left. It took us about twenty minutes to reach the docks and get our boat. It was a nice sized boat with a motor. Thank God, I do not want to paddle. We got in and drove out to a recommended fishing spot.

"Okay, so how does one fish?" I turn around to see her have a bucket hat on with a hook on it. I tried to suppress my laugh, but it was no use. She frowned a bit at that.

"What? Why are you laughing now?" She put her hand on her hip and everything.

"You're just so adorable with your bucket hat. You look like a true fisherman!" She cracked a small smile at this.

"Oh. Thank you. Now teach me." I went over to her and showed her how to put the hook on and then how to put the worm on. Honestly, she handled putting the worm on like a champ. I truly thought she was going to freak out. Next, I showed her how to cast. She got it down after a few tries.

"How long do we have to wait? I want to catch fish." I shushed her.

"Stay quiet. You'll scare away the fish. You need to be patient." At that moment, I was cut off as Hope freaked out.

"I think something is biting my line. It keeps tugging." I went behind her and put my hands over hers to see if I could feel it too, and I felt a big tug/

"Pull back on your pole now!" She pulled back and then just stopped.

"Hope you need to start reeling now!" I say exasperatedly, feeling my adrenaline start pumping. She immediately started reeling, and you could tell Hope was putting in a lot of effort. This is going to be a good-sized fish.

"It feels so heavy! My arms are getting tired." I went behind her again and started helping her just a bit pull back stronger as she continued to reel. Once I saw the fish start to get close, I let go so Hope could do the rest. I hurriedly grabbed my phone and started recording the moment.

"That's it, Hope; you've got it!" You could see the fish start to surface.

"Keep reeling. There you go, now pull it onto the boat." She struggled to pull the fish up. It truly was a good-sized fish. A typical largemouth bass. Looked to be at least thirteen inches. I see Hope hold her pole straight up and then turn to me with a huge smile.

"Look, I did it! It's so big and pretty. I shall name them Salmon." I started laughing, and so did she.

"Okay, Salmon, it is." I stop recording and set my phone down.

"Alright, now let me teach you how to take Salmon off the hook, and release them safely and soundly." We held the fish together as I let her take the hook out of Salmon's mouth. I helped her lower them into the water and watched as Salmon swam away. She leaned back into, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"That was so amazing. Today has been amazing." I turned my head so I could see her smiling, looking off into a daze. I squeezed her a bit tighter at that moment, feeling content.

"You did an amazing job. I'm glad you had fun today. I did too. You want to drive the boat back?" She sat up quickly and looked at me, wondering if I'm for real or not.

"Really?" She said excitedly.

"Of course. Come on; I'll help you out." She stood up and did the little excited dance she always does. I helped her in the beginning, but she was driving by herself in no time. Once we got closer to the docks, I took over since she was too nervous about docking us.

"So, did you want to do anything else?" I asked once we made it back to my car.

"Honestly. I just want to go to our diner, get some shakes to go, and we go watch movies." I smiled at that.

"That sounds amazing." I drove us to the diner. It didn't take long for us to get our shakes and get back to my house. We started binge-watching the Harry Potter series Immediately after we got settled into my bed. I sat there sort of zoning out, not remembering the last time I was genuinely this happy. I turned to Hope and hugged her closer to me.

"Thank you for the adventures so far." She just hugged me back and stayed silent, letting us both fully be in the moment.

Present:

"You both have had quite the adventure so far. You're talking about happy memories, yet you have a sad smile on your face. What's going through your mind?" My smile fades away completely as I think over her question. Honestly, what is going through my mind? Sometimes there's just so many things; I can't really concentrate on each thought individually. In these moments, I just feel overwhelmed and start to disassociate and become a hermit.

"Honestly, there is so much going through my mind right now. I can't fully pinpoint everything. I'm just starting to feel depressed. I wish I could go back in time and relive all these amazing moments. I wish I could just be stuck in an endless loop of every happy memory. I know that this is something that will never happen, but I'm stuck wishing. I just wish I could go back and appreciate these moments a little more. It seems no matter how much you were invested and present in a moment, it just always feels like you took it for granted." I said, hoping that I made at least a little sense.

"You know what I wish the most, though?" I look up at her and hear her hum in response.

"I wish I knew how to turn all my feelings off and clear my mind. I've been trying to run so fast from my demons and these bad memories, but I can't seem to leave them behind." I said in defeat.

"I know it's hard, but whether you see it or not, you're stronger than them. Have confidence in yourself." She tried to sell her pep talk to me, but it just wasn't resonating with me. I looked back up at her.

"I've been broken down so long that confidence is hard to find," I said out loud just above a whisper, and felt my eyes burning from the unshed tears.