Please, Stop blaming me

"Please, Stop blaming me "

(Viaxx Fred)

✒Ley Azeine Darkeil

Napatakip ako ng tainga habang nanginginig na nakapikit. Pilit iniiwasan ang mga nangyayari sa paligid.

"Siya! Siya ang may kasalanan!" Sigaw ng isang kaklase ko.

"Opo. Nakita ko din po siyang kasa-kasama ni Ren kanina." Dagdag naman nung isa pa.

"Oo nga. Nakakatakot naman siya."

"Akala ko pa naman isang simpleng nerd lang siya."

"I can't believe na kaya niyang manakit ng tao. She's a murder in disguise."

"She almost killed her. She's so creepy."

Mga iilan pang dagdag ng mga ito.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako ang inaakusahan nila. Nakita ko lang namang nakabulagta sa sahig si Ren e at balak ko lang naman sanang tignan ito at humingi ng tulong. Pero di ko lubos akalaing ako ang aakusahan nilang gumawa n'on sa kanya.

"Ms. Fred. Please calm down." Pagpapakalma sakin ng isang police woman pero mahahalata mo sa boses nitong naniniwala din ito sa akusa sakin. "We just want to know, why did you do that to Ms. Renlyn Sy?" Tanong pa nito.

"I-I didn't. I d-don't know what happened. I-I didn't d-do that." Pagpipilit ko.

Hindi naman kasi ako ang gumawa nun. Pero ba't ako ang dinidiin nilang gumawa.

Isn't it enough na bullyhin nila ako't utos-utusan?

Ni minsan pa nga ay binababoy at binabastos na nila ako. I just want to live peacefully, just like other school girls. Why can't I be like that?

"How come na hindi ikaw yun? Huli ka na nga sa akto e. At hindi ba'y minsan mo nang sinigaw sa mismong harap namin nun na papatayin mo siya dahil sa pambubully niya sayo?!" Galit at umiiyak na sigaw ni Vina, malapit na kaibigan ni Ren at kasama sa pambubully sakin.

Hindi ko magawang sumagot sa sinabi niyang iyon dala na din ng takot na baka ay paniwalaan na naman sila at idiin na naman ako.

"I w-was j-ust m-mad that time b-because y-you a-are physically and m-mentally hurting me. I-I d-didn't me-mean t-to say t-that." I was trying to defend myself when the people around me are starting to gossip and look at me with that judgemental look.

"See?! She didn't even denied it." She angrily said.

"Please. Believe me. I-I didn't--."

"Okay okay. Let's stop here for now. We will know it anyway. But for now, can you come with us first, Ms. Fred." The officer calmly asked me that makes me feel more afraid. She tried to touch me pero tinabig ko ito.

"I am innocent! I-I didn't do that! I-I was just passing by and trying to help yet you keep on insisting that I tried to kill her." I can't stop panicking and crying helplessly because of their accusations.

"Ms. Fred. Please calm yourself down. We just want to--.. Ms. Fred!"

Hindi ko na sila pinatapos pang magsalita at tumakbo na palayo.

I'm just a simple student who want to study quietly. I just want to graduate and leave my abusive parents and siblings.

I was even bullied in this school but I endure it for long time and didn't complained at all. Because I know that someday, I'll get through all this but-- fate is really so playful and such a bully.

Gusto ko lang namang lumaya na sa ponyetang buhay na ito e. Pero bakit ganito? Sawang-sawa na ako. Pagod na akong mahusgahan at masaktan. Nakakapagod na.

"Ms. Fred! Please stop!" Sigaw ng mga pulis habang patuloy na hinahabol ako paakyat ng rooftop namin.

"I'm not a murderer! Why can't y'all believe me?! I'm so tired of being accused and bullied. I'm so tired this life." I shouted while keep on running 'til I reached the door of the rooftop and locked it immediately.

Takot at umiiyak akong napatitig na pinto habang umaatras at malakas na kinakatok ng mga pulis. Patuloy silang sumisigaw roon at pilit binubuksan ang pinto at tinatawag ang pangalan ko. Kinukumbinsing buksan ko raw ang pinto.

I'm so tired and feeling hopeless. I want to end this once and for all. I don't want to feel this unwanted feelings anymore.

I cried heavily and look up in the sky. "WHY CAN'T I LIVE PEACEFULLY?! WHY DOES EVERYBODY DISLIKE AND DON'T BELIEVE ME?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE THE LIFE THAT THEY HAVE?! WHY DOES MY LIFE IS SO UNFAIR?! PLEASE TELL ME! I'M SO TIRED AND SICK OF IT! I JUST WANT TO LIVE BUT THEY KEEP ON PUSHING ME TO DEATH. THIS IS SO UNFAIR. SO UNFAIR!" I shouted with all my breathe.

My knees are trebling. I look around when the sky are rumbling. The rain started to fall when I see myself walking to the corner of the rooftop. I climb the barrier of it and look around the place of our school. "May the truth reveal and the sinner will get their punishments. I, VIAXX FRED IS ENDING MY LIFE! AND TAKE ALL THIS PAIN AND BLAMES WITH ME TOGETHER IN HELL! BUT THE TRUTH WILL BE UNLEASH AFTER MY DEATH! I SWEAR TO BEFORE MY DEATH THAT SOMEONE WILL SEEK THE TRUTH OUT AND WILL PUNISHED THOSE WHO DESERVED TO BE PUNISH! MY DEATH WILL BE YOUR WORTH NIGHTMARE AND Y'ALL WILL TASTE THE SAME FATE OF MINE." I shouted and jumped without fairs and full of assurance.

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10/27/2020