The Cock Fight

With her mind powers, surrounded by an illusory dystopian future, Rachel Grey builds a cockfighting ring. She and Fitz are about to duel their cocks.

She and Fitz share the same box. She plans on squeezing his neck between her thighs, when this is all over with, and decapitating him, by swinging around in circles, with her thighs clamped down and in...like Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye, only MUCH more sexopathic...and not to mention with superpowers that Onatopp WISHES she had...

All around, the storm still blows. The lightning's popping all around...but it's not as close as before. Rachel would hate to kill her own cock, five minutes in, after all...

"I love cockfights, Mr. President. My mother did too." She turns, and tries to flap her short blonde hair...best she can, since her hair doesn't flap. "It's a certain weakness of ours."

Fitz grins. "So I recall reading in your mother's comics. I was a bit late to yours, though... And you weren't in the movie Days of Future Past, somehow..."

She shrugs. "Budget cuts, and all that. Plus, they had neither time nor patience to look for an actress to play me. They DID find one to play Blink, though... Anyway, enough of THAT bullshit. Let me introduce you to my cock."

On one side of the arena, a metal door slides up, revealing a vomitorium. A big orange bird walks through. It looks like an ostrich...only its plumage is fire-colored.

Rachel grins. "Phoenixes come in many shapes and sizes, Mr. President. I hated to render this one flightless, but... Wouldn't cockfights be boring, if cocks could fly?"

"Wouldn't know, but... I can imagine the boredom."

She scoffs. "You are SO not a bad boy, Mr. President. I have no idea why they elected you."

"Interesting you should accuse me of that. Isn't your boyfriend, in the comics, the son of Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman?"

Rachel turns, and stares at Fitz. "Do I LOOK like I have a heart to you? Show me your damn cock!"

"Okay, but..." Fitz grins, and nods upward. On the other side of the ring, as the phoenix/ostrich struts past, a metal door reveals another vomitorium. Ms. Grey waits, in suspense, for Fitz to show his cock...

A little vampire ground finch wanders out. He prunes his wings, when he does.

Ms. Grey shrugs. "Where is your cock?"

He scoffs. "You're looking at him."

"What, is the finch its harbinger, or something?"

Fitz lowers his voice, grinning. "It IS the finch," he whispers.

She whirls, and gives him a disgusted look. "You sick pervert! You got my hopes up! I thought that yours would at LEAST be as big as mine...or even a fighting bird!"

"Ah well, you've clearly never heard of a VAMPIRE finch. Even so, that's no ordinary finch. He can drill through solid flesh like a little auger. He can fly fast enough to decapitate somebody. Just look at the bones!"

Hollow bird bones are now strewn about the arena.

"Those weren't there before!"

"You've been warned. Do what you will. But I will NOT be held liable for any injuries your precious phoenix chicks contract, during these matches."

"O, go pardon a turkey! Ozzie! Pancake that little starling, there! Show him how much he's worth!"

The phoenix/ostrich changes course, and approaches the finch...

"Watch, love," Fitz whispers, "and learn..."

"O, save it for when you're cheating on the..."

The finch spreads its wings, and flies right through the phoenix/ostrich's chest, like a bullet. He comes out the back end. The phoenix/ostrich gawks, and falls over.

"What in the name of Bolivar Trask! That is SO not fair!"

"O, and having a bird that's bigger than mine is? You know, Ms. Grey, you should consider seeing a therapist."

"O, shut up!"

"I'll also tell you what ELSE is unfair. You see, when people..."

"ENOUGH! I'LL SEND IN EVERYTHING I HAVE! I'LL REDUCE YOUR LITTLE VAMPIRE FINCH TO NOTHING! VOLLEY, FIRE!"

With that, the vomitorium vomits ALL of Ms. Grey's phoenix/ostriches. Like a bullet, the vampire finch flies through each of their chests, disheartening them. Blood spills out of them, as he does it.

He's rather disappointed that these cocks are crashing his feast. He WAS feasting on the first cock's blood, before they came along...

Alas, at some point, the rest of the cocks leap from the arena, and run. One of them suddenly becomes capable of verbal speech, and shouts, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY...!"

Ms. Grey hits her knees, and starts to undo the President's fly. "Oh! I pledge allegiance to your cock, Mr. President!"

Fitz sighs, and summons his rifle from nowhere. He reloads it, aims it at her forehead point-blank, and fires.

Ms. Grey's expression becomes empty, as a sudden hole, in the center of her forehead, causes her to fall over, curl up, and die.

All around, the illusion changes, again. Fitz is back in the aquarium dome.

"Hmm, that's strange." Fitz cleans the rifle muzzle. "You've got a Hindu dot. I've heard of chicks in Maharashtra getting those tattooed on their foreheads when they came of age, but I had no idea that there were mutants who actually grew those biologically." With that, Fitz reloads his rifle. "Alright, Cyrus! I killed your sister! Now give me back my home!"

At Fitz's feet, Ms. Grey's corpse vanishes.

"Very good, Fitz," Cyrus's voice echoes, throughout the dome. Fitz looks around, pointing his rifle everywhere. He's nowhere to be seen. "Your convoy has bested my Sinister Duo. You've all bested my Legion of Doom, my X-Force, and my Sisterhood of Evil Mutants. But I'm just getting warmed up. We both know, after all, that you can't REALLY be a president...unless you've mastered a Master of Evil."

High above, the whale shark swims right over Fitz. Fitz aims the rifle high, and pulls the trigger...

Too late; the illusion changes, again...to the surface of the moon Titan. The storms here are even stronger. But at least science was right, when it suggested that humans can stay here without suffocating to death.

Alas, this isn't the real Titan, Fitz now remembers. It's just an illusion...

In the final wave of the defensive, the Carnage Cosmic descends down upon the President, aback his silver-colored surfboard. He looks like Silver Surfer. And he is. But this version is loaded...with a symbiote that WAS red...before its most recent falling for the color silver...

Fitz, as Harold Nixon, aims his rifle up, at the descending cosmic being. He knows his rifle is probably powerless against the Carnage Cosmic. Even so, for Liv, and for his career, and for his general peace of mind, Fitz must try...

Silver Surfer stands on his surfboard, handsome as ever. Fitz would hate to describe him as such, but...he DID once seduce Invisible Woman...without Carnage in him.

With that, Silver Surfer's face becomes Carnage. He's got fangs, like Venom's. He looks a lot like Venom...only redder, and with a more insatiable appetite...for both violence and grub.

Carnage's fangs smile down upon Fitz. As adored as Fitz sometimes is, by Carnage's and Venom's appearances, he's also found them both creepy, as foes...

"Welcome to the so-called fatherland of Greece, Mr. President," Carnage speaks, making scary movements with his mouth, as he does. "There are no Spartans here...but I will personally make sure that you don't leave until Kronos swallows you...if I don't beat him to it." With that, he licks his chops.