Wound (1)

Let fate make us meet again in eternity.

Shui Jing

***

Tonight, both of us choose to take a rest. In this beautiful place. My hope is I can spend my wedding night with my husband but now... What have I done? I am here with this grandfather. I'd given my body to him and that had made me guilty but what can I do? I want to suicide but if I am died, Qin Qiao will be happy.

No, I will never let him get what he wants. I have to survive. No one knows what had happened between me and this grandfather. I realized…The grandfather isn't a person should be blamed because I am the one who forced him to sleep with me. I am the one who has committed this great sin. The grandfather never touched me again.

He helps me and still manages to look for something to eat for me even the Grandfather just gives me some fruits but these are more than enough for me.

"Just eat these." He said as he gave me these fruits from his palms.

I say nothing but accept the fruits from him. He rubs the fruit with his shabby clothes before giving them to me.

"How about your..." He stopped as he avoided eye contact with me.

"I am fine." I responded.

"How about going to my grandmother. She will help you." He said.

He wants me to meet with his wife? It's insane but for this situation I need a place to recuperate and think what I should do.

"Do you want me to meet with grandmother?" I asked to confirm what I heard just now.

"Yes. Meet with my grandmother. She can help you."

"But... don't you be scared if she knows about us?" I don't understand why this grandfather has encouraged me to bring me in front of his wife.

"You don't need to worry about that. Grandmother has a big heart and she is a kind person."

The grandfather looks so happy when tell about his wife. I think he really loves his wife. I never thought Qin Qiao would do something like that. But I can't deny the fact that grandfather is my first man. I don't want to think about that matter anymore. Can I bury this shame and embarrassment?

"Grandfather please don't let anyone know about what happened last night." I plead.

He looks at me with his purple eyes. I have never seen a man with this amethyst eyes color before.

"Miss, you don't need to worry. I will never tell anyone about that."

Even I plead to him but I cannot trust him. No one can I trust in this world except myself. I have to make a way to kill him but now…I still need him to help me so I smiled at him as I collected my strength that still remains in my body.

"Grandfather, thank you." I force a smile curved from my lips.

"But this..." He looks like a man who thinks a lot of things right now.

"Why?"

"Miss- you are so pale and I think you need to take a rest."

"Grandfather you don't need to worry because I have to do a lot of things later. I don't want waste my time here." I insisted.

"Miss please understand, your body is still weak. Please don't take a risk. I know... Qin Qiao's armies are still looking for us but you can take a rest for a while and I will guard this place."

How can he guard this place for me? His face and body are full of wounds and injuries right now. We are still trapped in this unknown area. I don't know if this place is saved enough for me or not. I agree with him because I think so. Qin Qiao armies are still hunting me.

"Just take a rest tonight and at dawn we will go from this place."

"You don't need to accompany me."

"Don't worry." He smiles. " I will accompany you wherever you go after we meet grandmother."

To be honest. I don't want to spend another night on this place. I have to find brother Xu. He will help me for sure. Brother Xu is crown prince of the East states. He is like a real brother to me and our family has an alliance and he can help me. I have to go to the East as soon as possible.

***

At the dawn we are starting our journey. Even my body is still weak but I force myself to keep walking. I don't want to die here. I tell myself over and over again that I have to meet brother Xu alive.

Without food we walked until we stopped at a small hut in the bamboo forest. I think this is his home because that grandfather opened the simple bamboo gate and asked me to follow him.

"Grandmother, I am coming!!!" He shouts as he is still a teenager. I am startled because I never thought he acts like a teenager. I can't believe that I had given my body to a person like this.

Few seconds later a grandmother appears with a smile on her face. They hug each other like a long time not see. Their interaction just touched my cold heart because they make me remember about my family. I don't know why I am so happy to see them reunite like this. The grandmother looks so happy when she sees her husband. I think they are so sweet together.

"Miss, come in." Grandmother called me as she guided me to get into their small hut. I don't think she would still be friendly if she knew what had happened about me and her husband last night. Even this situation looks awkward but I don't have any choice except to take a rest and accept their kindness for a while.

My body can hold it anymore. I feel sore all over my body but I cannot tell anyone because this situation is embarrassing for me.

"Grandmother please help Miss....", the grandfather stopped while looking at me.

"Shui Jing." I answered.

"Alright." The grandmother looks so really friendly. To be honest, this grandmother's expression just made me more guilty regarding last night. But what can I do except accept this cruel reality? What can I do except accept this ashamed body? I really hate myself right now.

"Xiao Wang, this Miss...", The grandmother looked at me.

"She...."

"Just help me now. I will go after this if grandmother-"

"It's alright. This grandmother is just curious because Xiao Wang never brings someone here. He is always alone all the time."

I just heard the grandmother's story about his husband. She doesn't ask me as if she understands that I don't want to tell anything about my story. They take care of me as I stay at their hut. I don't know if I shall kill him or not. I am not sure if I can trust him or not because I think they are really kind people.

I don't know what's going on if Qin Xiao finds out about this place. I think I have to go before the Qin Qiao armies find this place but now I just want to sleep and forget all the misery and pains that I feel. I miss Xue Chen but I had made a great sin.

Just by thinking about Xue Chen can make tears roll down from my eyes. What can I do without him? Why doesn't the Sky let Xue Chen alive? He is a kind man but why…

I take a deep breath but this tears cannot stop as the grandfather approaches me.

"Miss, are you alright?" He asked but I didn't have the courage to see him in this state.

"Can you leave me? I just want to be alone right now."

"I don't want to leave you. I will accompany you. You can consider me as no one here, alright?"

I don't care about him. I just want Xue Chen to be here but I realized it's impossible in my life. I have to learn to accept and let Xue Chen disappear…

***