Wound (2)

There is a time that I wish I could forget all the shame but now...

What can I do?

Shui Jing

***

I don't understand why this grandfather insist to accompany me even help me so far. He just sit on the floor as his back laying on the bed edge. He does nothing, just stay quiet over there.

"I am sorry…" He said as his words broke the silence that created between us. I take a deep long breath because my tears are still falling down. " I am…I…"

"I knew…just forget about that night and don't ever mention this matter again. I really hate myself because I realized that I am the one who …"

"Let's eat." He said.

"What…"

Alright! I know he wants me not to think too much but I don't have any appetite right now. I turned my body to another direction to avoid him.

"Thank you but I don't want to eat." I said.

"Miss…don't you say that you have a lot of things to do. You said that you want to survive, right?"

I turned my body again and the grandfather was standing beside my bed with a smile framed on his wrinkled face. I don't know how he can smile in this situation? Sometimes I think this man is mad because at his age he acts like a teenager but now his words make me realize that I have a goal.

'Qin Qiao, I will kill you! You have destroyed my life and bring this grandfather into my life!'

I promise to myself. Qin Qiao will pay what he has done to me, my family and my country.

"Uhm… alright." I said. He brought a bowl of porridge and put on my right palm while smiling. "Thank you."

A long the night he take care of me. The grandfather doesn't talk to me as he keeps quiet and accompanies me. To be honest, no one ever done this to me. This is my first time to feel warm in my heart.

"Uhm…how about your wound?" I asked him.

I remember he has a lot of wounds and bruises all over his body. Imagine when our body conjoined last night made me feel nauseated.

"Miss, are you alright?" He asked. His eyes show that he is so worried but is he really worried about me? "Wait."

He runs to get a cup of warm water from the kitchen to me and feed me instantly.

"Miss…your face is pale. I think you got a fever."

I don't care even if I get a fever, I just want to go from this place and find my cousin brother Xu soon.

I don't want to die before I can kill him. Qin Qiao must die in my hands.

I want to say a lot of things to this grandfather but nothing can come out from my mouth while in seconds the one that I can see is darkness.

At that time I can hear someone whispering in my head.

'Shui Jing , don't worry… I am here…I will take care of you.'

As I heard those words just made me remember that Xue Chen is the one who talked to me before we had been married. But now…all memories between Xue Chen and me change into dust. No one can make Xue Chen come back to me because he had been in eternity.

***

I wake up in the afternoon and see grandfather cooking in the kitchen then our eyes meet as he approaches me with a bowl in his right hand.

"Miss…how are you?"

He put the bowl over the wood table beside my bed before he helped me to sit properly. I feel sore and pain all over my body. I don't even know why I feel so weak like this. I never get sick but I am in this state that makes me feel so useless.

"Miss… drink this." He said as he fed me with something in the bowl slowly then wiped my lips gently.

I am shocked with his acts but I don't know…I feel he acts like that as he does it unconsciously. Why my heart is beating faster. I rub my uncomfortable chest but my act just makes him worry about me.

"Miss, are you alright?" He asked again, this time his voice was more gentle.

Why his voice so gently? Why does his voice deliver goosebumps all over my body?

"Miss…"

"I think their pills still have an impact on my body, I feel so uncomfortable and my heartbeat going faster right now." I said. I never thought after he listened to my words, his face became pale suddenly.

"Miss, stay calm. I am here…"

To be honest…I don't know if their pills still give me impact or not but this is weird since I never felt like this way before so I am scared and confused. His eyes still look enchanting even when he is worried. He taps my back gently until I get better. I take a deep breath before looking at his beautiful violet eyes.

'Wait…Why do I feel his eyes are beautiful? Is there something wrong with me?'

I want to say something to him but once again no single word comes out from my mouth. Why do I become numb like this? He wipes away my tears with his thumb.

"Don't worry, I will never let them hurt you more than this." He said.

I don't give him a response because now I am so dizzy. I just want to sleep right now. I wish I could forget this nightmare. Because I don't know how to face this misery by myself.

To be honest, I don't know but this grandfather gives me a warm feeling in my heart right now and makes me afraid at the same time. Do I have to kill him? I think this feeling comes from him so if he dies then the feeling must be distinguished as well, right?

"Thank you." I said. "But I want to go to meet my cousin."

"Are you sure?"

"Why?"

"Alright, I will accompany you as I said before."

"To be honest, I can go by myself."

"Why do you still insist on going alone in this situation?" This time I see him so desperate but I don't understand what his reason is. "Why do you still act like you are strong?!"

"Because I am a princess and now my country has been destroyed! Do you know that I am so disgusted by myself?! Could you please just let me alone? Could you let me go by myself? I don't need you to take responsibility! You know what?! Because I blame myself for what had been done between us! Don't you understand!"

***