Sky Log #39: On the Run

Do you get the feeling that you are not homebound? Even when you travel from place to place, you can never from one where your heart truly belongs. I don't mean a place; what I meant was people. Or I could mean both.

In Sky, children can choose a place where they can live in. They naturally do. After all, everyone needs a place to stay for food, shelter, and warmth.

But I never did.

It wasn't because I found Isle too dull to live in. Or that the Forest was too wet to stay around. Or that Valley was too cold that you could potentially have frostbite. Or maybe the Wasteland, where your life is constantly in danger because of the crabs and the krills. It was because every area had their charms, and I loved their charms for it. Every place has a story to tell, a special moment to capture, and spirits to talk to.

And so were friends.

I met acquaintances. I have a family of friends I could count on and people whose stories could move me. Yet, there are moments when I could never truly feel like I belong. Sometimes… just sometimes, I feel like an intruder in their lives. I feel like an additional piece to their life. But I could never blame them. After all, I was never around for long. I could never be in every aspect of their lives.

Everything around me fascinated me. Still, there was a deeper reason.

I was hiding a darker truth.

I was hiding my pain and troubles deep within me. I was… being self-destructive, and I didn't want anyone to be near me. I was afraid to hurt them. Moreover, I was frightened of the idea that they would leave me when they knew of my actual face. The dark core never healed because of external factors; it was internal. And it was severe.

At least, that was what I thought.

Perhaps my worries were just small things. Maybe, I was making a drama out of this. Perhaps.

What I wanted to say was… to treasure the little things in your life. Even if they seem insignificant, you never know when they will be gone. You never know when someone beside you wants to matter to you but can't exactly find the words to say. Why am I saying all of these? It is because I am now unable to. I thought I had all the time in the world to slowly tell them how much I appreciate them in my world and how much I wanted to thank them for being there in my most challenging moments. Yet, I am on the run, miles away from them, unable to tell them how much I missed them. I wish I had spent more them with them…

For my first birthday with Sky friends, I never expected them to make a cover for this diary. This diary that I am now sharing this with you guys. I also didn't expect them to make renditions of the Lone Traveler, forming their understanding of a Traveler.

A Traveler that guides moths through the realm.

A Traveler that travelled around the realms for fun and laughter.

A Traveler that plays songs to the lonely and angry krills, even if they get krilled.

It was heartwarming. It truly was. To know that people understand that this diary was not easy to come by and that it was made with effort was… pleasing. It felt like this story mattered, that even if I couldn't speak well, they bothered to look at what I wrote.

I'm aware that I had faults of my own, but I did things when they mattered because my friendships mattered to me. It mattered more than avenging the pain within me. It mattered more than dying to not suffer in this quagmire of broken memories.

I want to live.

Sincerely.

Yet, fate did not allow me.

As I write this entry down, I am currently hiding from the Wasteland Elder's disciples. Someone caught wind that I brought something out from the Repository of Refuge and reported me. And rumours throughout the Kingdom were talking about a Traveler who wasn't attached anywhere having a strange illness that was destined for the destruction of this Kingdom. It was clear as day that it was me.

I could name a few of my acquaintances whom I am suspicious of, but it wasn't worth the effort to chase after them. The odds are against me. Upon fearing that danger might befall my friends, I never contacted them. It was better to keep them safe this way. Unfortunately, because I was on the run for several months, the Dark Core started to act up. Not even the waters from the Hidden Forest could slow it down this time.

I'm afraid of hurting people.

I have been having nightmares since I saw what was in the dark candle. I always check my limbs to see whether I have turned into a krill.

While on the run, I thought of the best and most dangerous place to hide: the Golden Wasteland. There, I heard rumours of a hermit wizard who could make miraculous potions. I'm planning to head there tomorrow. I know I'm grasping at straws, but this is the only solution I currently have.

However, my eyes are peeled out for any signs of the disciples. I alerted them when I saved a few children from the krills in Graveyard, so I'm now hiding among these pipes. When I saved the children, I could not forget their scared looks when they saw my face. This time, the corruption had reached half of my face, and the pollution in Wasteland was not helping my condition. I could barely see out of the eye that was getting corrupted. The fortunate thing was that they were not hurt, but my appearance must have given them a scare.

There's no time.

I need to find a way to stop myself from becoming a krill.

I have to. Not just for myself but for my friends and family too.