Better By Myself (Part 1)

https://youtu.be/aQgRkWG6q_g

Nick had that sickening gut-punch feeling, again. It radiated from just below his chest. The solar plexus, is really where the pain radiated from. It was like the first time he ever felt nicotine flow through his body, but it weighed so much heavier. It was all emotional.

This is what they meant when people said their heart was heavy, or had a lot on their mind, but worse. The emotional fatigue he felt in these moments was still just awful, even though it had been eighteen months since it all came out about his ex wife's affair.

Thank god, he didn't have to see her today. He'd grown to hate her pretty face. He'd never forgive her selfishness. She always thought she could do anything because of her wealth. Not her education, which was expensive. Not her style, which was high fashion. Not even because of her looks, which were stunning. She felt she could do anything and get away with it, and with no repercussions, because of her family's money. Her whole family was entitled, and of course, were the ones who insisted on the prenuptial agreement. Nick was sure glad he signed that, today.

Once the despair of the humiliation finally ended, and he could deal with it all, Nick got his old frat brother involved. Nick and Doug weren't close in recent years, but they were always there for each other. Nick was one of Doug's, father's, Pallbearers, and now Doug was Nick's divorce lawyer.

They met because of that one time before the school's big game when Doug was getting jumped by three guys from the rival school. What were the odds Nick would have forgotten his glasses in the car that night? On the way back through the parking lot, he saw three big guys next to a smaller one. Their overbearing attitude around Doug was looking as dangerous as Nick had suspected.

By the time he made it to them, they were landing their first blows on Doug. Which was the perfect distraction for Nick, running up the front of the car next to them, and launching himself into a tackle that took down all three men. Doug was fast enough to think on his feet, even after the couple blows that landed. When he saw them down, he didn't question his luck. He just started kicking the guys who had attacked him, in the face. The good ol'days of the early 1990's.

The two, now, middle aged men are in the elevator on the way to see her lawyers, for the last time. Finally, Nick would get the check from them, and sign the last of the paperwork. He'd finally have what he deserved from all the pain; enough money to be financially well off for the rest of his life and most importantly, he'd finally be divorced. Finally free of all her lies, her stupid birds, and most importantly, her. What a blessing he never had any children with her. No ties that bound them any further in this lifetime. Nick assumed her karma would likely have to wait until then.

He had stopped wearing his wedding band weeks after it all came out. He noticed he was wearing it while riding his bike through Penny Pack Park, just past Rhawn Street. He started sobbing so hard he crashed in front of the mural-ed theater, and the front tire popped.

He was so angry with himself, with her, that when he got up, he screamed, threw his bike across the road into the field and walked back to his car. While wiping off dirt from his arm, he saw it again. That thing near the end of his hand. He slides it off of his finger for the last time.

He thought about pawning it for a moment, but he wouldn't need the money soon. So he threw it, as hard as he could. He never hears it land. He never saw how it flew into the water with a tiny, plop. It was just gone. It was so unsatisfying. Nick laughed to himself, remembering that, that was exactly it. Why wouldn't it be the same? It was just like his marriage; unsatisfyingly gone.

The elevator doors chime and open, Nick and Doug step out. The room is as cold and as uninviting as her team of lawyers, who lost horribly. The substantial settlement was already preordained. When he first signed the prenuptial agreement, he never thought he'd ever need it.

They were younger then and in love. He was working for her father already. His whole life was under her power and in the control of her family. He didn't care at the time. Everything was perfect. What could he ever need a prenuptial agreement for? He was always a loyal boyfriend and he became a loyal husband too. She had always gotten bored easily, Nick just never thought she would get bored with him.

She was 34 when they met. 5'7", thin, blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin, beautiful. Their friends jokingly called them Ken and Barbie. Nick was stocky, 6 feet tall, wire rimmed glasses over his hazel eyes, and light brown hair. Recently many grays came forth on his face and head. Back then he was handsome but he didn't really know how much so, being in his late thirties, and finally ready to settle down from a life of repetitive monogamy.

Nick was all too happy to have a sweet, blushing, bride. He never understood what took her so long to settle down, or why she even picked him. Now he does. He thought she loved him. At least at the time. Now he assumed it was just some passing fancy to her.

Did she just want to get married? Just have a wedding, but not actually be married? Almost everything he thought was true about her, ended up being a lie. At least, in this case, it didn't matter any more. He would be completely free before breakfast.