Better By Myself (Part 3)

Before breakfast, Doug was trying to lighten the mood. Nick was still treating his situation like a funeral, when he should be dancing in the streets. So as they walked from the car to the diner, in Doug's strongest announcer's voice, he belted out, sticking his cigarette into Nick's face like a microphone, "Nick Hamilton, you just won 2.5 million dollars in a divorce settlement, thanks to your amazing lawyer, what are you gonna do now?"

Nick could hardly muster a smile, so he waved away the smoke from his face and replied, "I'm not sure, wallow in comfort? Maybe play cards professionally and win, since I have the money to buy any card I need."

"Lofty goals." Doug joked, as they went into

the diner.

"Don't be a jerk, e-Sports have come a long way. Have you tried the free computer version?" Nick swings back in debate.

Doug remembered a line from their favorite movie, "As your attorney, I can not advise this course of action."

Nick, almost smiled, "I'll go on a road trip to Bat Country with you? I could probably use that kind of therapy."

Doug was glad to get the near smile out of Nick, and laughed at his response. "Thank you, but no thank you. My Fear and Loathing days are long behind me, but I can tell you about the fucking golf shoes!"

They both had a good laugh as their waitress arrived. They exchanged pleasantries and ordered a few Bloody Mary's to go with their meals.

Doug asked the hard questions a friend needed to ask, to be called a friend. "So how long has it been?"

The gut-punch feeling struck, again. Nick's face instantly soured at the question. He sank back into his chair in a way that made him look like he was dimming his lights or putting up his hoodie to hide from the world or get lost in a crowd.

Doug could see how it hurt Nick to be asked the question, but it needed to be done. Getting back on the horse was something long overdue. "Dude, I'm sorry, I can see you are still hurting, but it's been over a year. I know you haven't been seeing anyone. Yeah, I see the look on your face. You don't want any lectures. So let's skip that part, and jump to where I tell you about how Donna has these

two friends...." Nick cut him off, "No setups man. I don't need that kind of pressure."

"You don't need to make a decision right away..." Doug was cut off by the look in Nick's eyes, so he replied, "Listen man, at this point, I'm better by myself."

Doug, stared at him like he was Leonardo DiCaprio from the Inception meme. "OK, man, I give up, it's your life. Just know that Donna and I are here for you if you need some friends."

"I appreciate that Doug, I really do. It means a lot to me. I just need some time, and I'm not really sure how long it's going to take."

Doug went on a polite offense, "You are nearing 50 my friend, don't let your life pass you by any more than you already have."

Nick was good at defusing situations like this with humor, "I guess.... I just don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Doug was fighting fair now so Nick kept up with him.

"Nice! You are very self aware, maybe too much so."

"If I was a narcissist, you think my wife could have done what she did, and got away with it like she did?" Nick countered.

"I'm not calling you a narcissist, Nick. If anything you were too selfless, too giving, too trusting, and that's how she got you. You are too fucking nice, and you know where those guy's finish, man. Maybe it's time for you to go get what you want in life? You sacrificed almost a decade of your life for that thankless bitch and her family. This check, and a small handful of not even that great, memories, are all you have to show for it. No home, not even children. It's time for you to build a life that no one can take from you."

"Yes dad, white picket, 2.3?" The short question conveyed much. Doug fired another salvo, "Whatever you want, dude. You want a wife and try for a family again, go for that and make it work. You want to fly to Hollywood and become a porn star, then do that! But don't let anyone keep it from you, do it all, and once you get it, don't let anyone take it from you."

Nick agreed, "Right on man, I get you, but I'm still feeling like I'm better by myself, at least at the moment. She used me and abused me in the most vile way a woman can do to a man. She broke every goddamn rule of love there ever was, and I'm not ready to be vulnerable like that again. I might never be." He admitted.

Doug kept hounding "Don't let what she did to you, water down your idea of love. Just look at Donna and I?" Nick agreed again.

"Y'all have a model relationship, no doubt's there. All the single people in the crew looked to the two of you for that, 'how to be in a good couple' thing, and have, since, forever.

They all want what you have. What's fucked up is I was led on to believe I still had that, when it had been gone from me for months, and I never even knew. What did it get me in the end?" Nick was distraught, his broken heart and all the rage which came with it.

Doug picks up the check stub from Nick's $2.5 million, and hands it to him, "Ummmm..."

Nick takes the receipt as a tear rolls down his face. "This isn't what I wanted, at all."

Doug smiles wide, in resignation, "It could be worse Nick. You could have had a shitty lawyer and ended up feeling exactly as you feel right now, but minus the burden of that check."

"The check isn't the burden, it's the fucking trauma that bought it!" Nick concluded. Doug added, "Your old way of life is as over as it's ever going to be. So start again, maybe get it right this time?'