Chapter 1: I Wished.........

2nd January 1975

It was Monday morning and the sun shone right in front of me just as I woke up from my slumber. I felt the warmth of the sunlight and it just made me felt so good to myself. Other checked the alarm clock and it was 6.20 a. m. Hmmmmmm......  I had to get ready and also be prepared for the next torture at school. I hated the fact that I had to leave without taking delight from the sun as a way of my escapism. Without wasting my time, I straight away went to the bathroom to take my morning shower. I remembered that I did turned on the water heater the night before. So I'm glad. The warm water fell onto my naked body. While I took a shower, I checked every parts of my body and I saw a lot of bruises on my left arm. I tried to looked away.. But, to no avail. I kept looking at it and it made myself useless because why I did I live anyway?????? It made me felt so stupid and ridiculous seeing myself with a bruise. I sighed, continued to took a shower then wrapped myself with a towel. I went to the closet to searched my clothes that could lightened my day, at least. In the middle of my searching, I found a folk-embroidered Hungarian blouse that matched perfectly with frayed jeans. I checked the clock again in case that I was late to school again. It was 6.35 a. m. now. I put a little makeup on just to look good on the outside. Before I went down to the dining room for my breakfast, I glanced at my beautiful posters of The Jacksons and also Michael Jackson himself. I kissed them as if they're right here with me. I went down and saw my favorite food for my breakfast, which was spaghetti. I didn't see my mom everywhere. "I guess that she went to work early again", I thought to myself. My dad died when I was just five. It's pretty sucks when you have to grow up without your dad right beside you to give love and support. Now, my mom had to work full shift just to make ends meet. I felt pity for her. While I was eating this tantalizing and delicious food, suddenly my mind played back those horrible and horrifying past. I was stunned by it that I didn't realized that I dropped the fork. My whole body was shaking in fear. My hands were trembling. Perspiration trickled down my brow. I was covered with full sweat. I knew that I had to let go. But how????? It was so hard for me to let go of it because it haunts me everytime I tried to forget it. It's easy for people to say that I just forget it. It's easy for them because they never gone through this type of torture. The worst is that I had to go through the same process over and over again thanks to Eve and her fucking annoying minions!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I wished that I could run away to somewhere beautiful where nobody will have to know my name and my darkest past. I wished that everyone would just understand me and not pointing fingers at me for some things that I would never do. I wished, ohhhhh I wished!!!!!!!!!! I cried and cried and cried. When I finally stopped crying, I picked up my fork and washed it. Those leftover food were then given to my dog, Muscles. He's the only friend that I had and I somehow trusted him. The way he wagged it's tail makes him more cuter and actually forget everything. But only for temporary. As to what people always said, the dog is a man's best friend. I checked the clock again and it was 6.50 a.m. I had to go to school despite my hatred to school and the others who believed in Eve's deception mad ridiculed me. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wished that I could hired a hitman so that he or she could kill me this instant. My school was just two blocks from my house. I closed all the electricity and locked the door. I then ran as fast as a lightning in fear of being late again. I cursed while running. Perhaps this will be my another torture........