Chapter 30: “Because I Want to Stay with You a bit Longer.”

It was already late night, not very convenient for Yu Qinghuan to directly go to Huo family, so he called Huo Qu before he went out, "go get the gatekeeper notified. Let them open the gate for me when I'm arrived." and then stressed, "I will call you when I'm there. And then you come downstairs. Just stay there and wait for me. I will come to you."

After giving it a second thought, he was still a little worried, so he added, "Put on some warm clothes, and don't forget the hat and neckerchief."

Huo Qu listened to him obediently. After he hung up, he immediately got himself wrapped up at the fastest speed and then sat on the bed, straightened up, eyes staring at the phone, afraid that he might miss Yu Qinghuan's call.

Learning that Huo Qu was going out, Huo Rong immediately opposed. When he was about to say something, his father shut his mouth with an orange.

Until Huo Rong informed the gatekeeper and saw Huo Qu go back to his own room, he quickly swallowed the orange and said to his father discontentedly, "Dad, what were you doing? How could you let Qu go out alone at late night?"

"Why not?" his father disapproved, "Qu is an adult."

"But his condition…"

"Rong," his father tapped the place beside, letting him sit next to him, "To Huo Qu, you care about him too much. The only different place between you and him is he is way more smarter."

After a pause, he said earnestly, "I hope you can understand. Whether you are brothers or whatever relationship between you, it's not very appropriate to poke your nose into someone else's business in the name of caring him."

Huo Rong knew what his father meant, but he still tried to retort, "What if something happens to him?"

His father took a sip of tea and said calmly, "but we can't even let him do such a small thing in order to protect him. This is the most stupid thing. I think Qu is not bad now. And I hope he'll get better. What do you say?"

Huo Qu thought for quite a while wearing a complicated expression, but still he nodded.

When Yu Qinghuan arrived, Huo Qu was really waiting for him downstairs as expected. He specially stood under the street light. At such a late night, with his white face flickering under it, which was kind of inexplicably creepy.

Yu Qinghuan walked quickly towards him. After checking him up and down and making sure he was all good, Qinghuan exhaled a long breath, "Where do you feel ill?"

"Here," Huo Qu pressed his chest and said with a low voice, "it feels really, really, really awful."

"What's going on?" Yu Qinghuan stretched out a hand to rub his chest for him, and asked gently, "does it suddenly begin to hurt? Did you tell your family?"

Huo Qu shook his head, looked at the ground and then looked at Yu Qinghuan. Suddenly he grasped Qinghuan's wrist, like he was afraid Qinghuan might run away, and begged him, "Qinghuan, you can't treat Zhao Qingyuan better than me."

Yu Qinghuan was struck dumb and immediately burst into laughter, "So you feel awful because you are jealous?"

Huo Qu corrected him seriously, "Qinghuan, I am not jealous tonight."

"All right," Yu Qinghuan rubbed his back to soothe him. He felt that his good temper was nearly worn out. Huo Qu asked him here at such a late night, he was worried that he might be seriously ill, but it turned out that Huo Qu asked him here only because he thought Qinghuan treated Zhao Qingyuan better than him.

"That's not true. Trust me."

"But I saw it." said Huo Qu while looking at him with that pair of dark eyes, "they even said it on TV."

"We are good friends, hm…"

Seeing Huo Qu was nearing crying, Yu Qinghuan immediately changed his tone, "You know, they always exaggerate things on TV."

He knew that Huo Qu was a little different from common people, who needed more patience, so he explained, "Huo Qu, everyone would have a lot of friends. So you can not feel awful because of this. I have a new friend, but it doesn't mean we're not friends anymore, right?"

"No!" Huo Qu shook his head, with all depression written in his beautiful big eyes, "I don't have a lot of friends. I only have one friend, and it's you."

Yu Qinghuan got choked by his words. And he realized he might have hurt Huo Qu's heart and felt a little regretted. So he held Huo Qu's hand and tried to remedy, "I know. I know I have a lot of friends, but you are the only special one to me."

Huo Qu's eyes immediately shone, "Really?"

"Of course." Yu Qinghuan patted his head with the other hand, "So don't overthink things. You can call me whenever you feel unhappy. Don't save it to yourself."

"Hm." Huo Qu nodded heavily. And his low mood for a whole night now became a little bright and clear. But…he felt it was not enough. Although Qinghuan said a lot to comfort him, he still felt a little sullen.

After quite a while, he squeezed some words, "Urgh…will you still date with Zhao Qingyuan alone?"

"Ah-hem!" Yu Qinghuan nearly got choked by his own saliva! He wanted to explain what date meant, but thinking of his own sexual orientation, he was afraid he might not be able to explain it clearly in such a short time, so he could only say, "No."

Right after he finished his words, Huo Qu said, "If I want to date with you, will you come?"

Afraid that he might get jealous again, Yu Qinghuan could only ignore his misusing of the word date and bite the bullet, saying, "…Yeah."

Now Huo Qu who thought he finally won over Zhao Qingyuan felt happy and satisfied.

And then he noticed that Yu Qinghuan's hands were freezing cold.

"Qinghuan, do you feel cold?" He was worried and panicked, and held Yu Qinghuan's hands like they were some precious fragile thing. He wanted to help but didn't know how.

Yu Qinghuan then teased him, "Yeah, very cold. Will you warm them for me?"

Huo Qu nodded heavily. After thinking for a bit, he suddenly rolled up his clothes and pressed Yu Qinghuan's hands against his underbelly.

The moment the freezing cold hands touched the warm skin, Huo Qu shivered, but he didn't move a bit, he even pulled his clothes down a little, wanting to wrap Yu Qinghuan's hands more tightly.

"Are you nuts? How can you put them on your belly!" Yu Qinghuan was surprised and tried to pull back his hands.

"I'm not nuts. My IQ is 180." explained Huo Qu humorlessly, while pressing Qinghuan's hands more tightly.

He was surprisingly strong. Yu Qinghuan couldn't get them back at all. Finally he just let it go. Anyway Huo Qu could hold it, and he also felt warm and comfortable.

On a winter night, even without wind, it was still very cold. After standing there for a while, Yu Qinghuan sniffled and yawned, looking a little sleepy, so he said to Huo Qu, "Are you feeling better now? I have to go back. What about I send you upstairs first?"

Huo Qu was still holding Yu Qinghuan's hands tightly, apparently showing he disapproved.

"Be good." Yu Qinghuan then dragged him and walked to the gate, "I got a scene to shoot tomorrow. So I can't stay long. I'll come to see you when I have time."

Now since Yu Qinghuan said so, even Huo Qu didn't want him to go, he could only nodded while following him behind, but with very small steps, like he was rubbing on the ground with his feet.

Finally Yu Qinghuan stopped and turned around, "Huo Qu, can't you walk?"

"Yes, I can."

"Then why are you walking so slow?"

"Because I want to stay a bit longer with you."

Yu Qinghuan nearly couldn't breathe. Huo Qu's handsome face looked extra charming under the street light which nearly blinded his eyes. Suddenly a kind of evil feeling was rising in his heart, like a fluffy tail naughtily itching his heart, making his whole body burning.

Yu Qinghuan thought he shouldn't have such evil idea, so he tilted his head and switched the topic, "Don't stand under the street light from now on. I got freaked out when I saw you just now."

"But…"

"But what? Spit it out!"

"It's the brightest under the street light."

"So what? Do you want to be the brightest star under the sky?"

"I'm human, I can't be a star…I just…I just want you to see me at the first sight."

Maybe because the beautiful moonlight, Yu Qinghuan was always attracted by Huo Qu in spite of himself.

This was the first time he put Huo Qu on an equal level of himself, but not took him as a genuine friend who always needed his caring.

"I gotta go. You go home." after casting away those filthy thoughts, Yu Qinghuan pressed the button of the elevator and said so while patting Qu's shoulder.

Seeing Huo Qu nodded, he then turned around and walked away.

In the dark, Yu Qinghuan's fair hands that were swinging with his clothes looked extra conspicuous. Huo Qu involuntarily ran after him, wanting to hold that pair of hands that disturbed his state of mind.

But Yu Qinghuan walked too fast. Soon he already disappeared in the darkness. Huo Qu stared at the spot where he left and slowly took back his own hands.

When Yu Qinghuan got back to the hotel, his face was nearly freezing. While pouring some hot water for him, Yu Xin scolded him, "You deserve it! Why the hell did you go out on such a late and freezing cold night? Don't you feel you are not busy enough?"

But his attitude was a lot better than during the day.

That was because this time the gossip between Zhao Qingyuan and Yu Qinghuan didn't invite in any condemning on the internet, instead, they unexpectedly gained the sympathy and favorability of a lot of passers-by.

[Have all those media gone crazy? Do you have a bit of professional ethics? Two people went out and it has to be dating?]

[Hell no!…Apparently Yuan and Qinghuan don't have chemicals at all! It's more like an uncle with a husky…Oh my, what am I talking?]

[So annoying! Can't they report some uselful stuff?"

[Suddenly I realize it's not so easy to be a star as we imagined. To make a same-sex friend is to be gay? Wow, my sympathy…]

…

Those netizens all rooted for them this time like they were brainwashed, all swarmed to denounce the media and criticize the bad atmosphere of the netnews, finally they already forgot about Yu Qinghuan and Zhao Qingyuan's gossip, which made Yu Xin nearly cry his eyes out and want to forward another koi on Weibo.

"Trust me. No one was after me. We hit the headlines all because of Qingyuan last time." said Yu Qinghuan after he drank the whole cup of hot water and felt a little warm in the stomach.

"So you did nothing wrong?" Yu Xin helped him hang his overcoat and tipped him, "You only have a few days in this crew. Hold it. Just stay in here, never go out or Director Liu would have a word of you."

When Yu Qinghuan was about to nod, Yu Xin added, "Anyway you don't have any serious matter outside."

Yu Qinghuan, "…All right."

Early the next morning, Yu Qinghuan had got all dressed up and went to the filming site. The first scene was between him and Fang Zhongxi.

The strange thing was Fang Zhongxi who was always on time was unprecedented late today. The whole crew had waited for him for quite some time and finally he arrive with a sorry face.

Since this was the first time, plus his apologizing attitude was very sincere, Liu Jia'an didn't get mad but only waved at him, letting him get prepared.

Fang Zhongxi looked a little not himself, like very uncomfortable. One could tell easily even if he was wearing a thick layer of makeup.

"Are you OK?" though they were not familiar with each other, since Yu Qinghuan saw it, he still showed his care when he backed on to the camera.

"I'm fine." Fang Zhongxi answered coldly. Noticing he didn't want to talk to him, Yu Qinghuan said no more but started to clear up his costume with his head lowered.

This was the second to the last scene of Yu Qinghuan, still a rescuing scene which was quite energy consuming.

When Yu Qinghuan found the right feeling and saw Fang Zhongxi also nod at him, he then showed Liu Jia'an an 'OK" gesture.

Liu Jia'an understood and scanned the standby lighting engineers, then shouted, "OK! Action!"

"Move! Move! Move!" Ye Sheng who had fallen for his work in the battlefield was sweating profusely, with blood stains all over his white gown, totally a different man from that rich kid image.

He was the headmost, commanding two soldiers carrying a stretcher, looking very anxious.

The gunfire was on, and the injured were carried away one bunch after another. They were totally short of hands. When Ye Sheng was racking his brain to figure out how to transfer those limited hands, he suddenly saw a colleague coming from outside.

"Great. Come with me. The patients are too…" Yu Qinghuan grabbed Fang Zhongxi over joyfully. But before he finished his words, Fang Zhongxi suddenly staggered and fell down.

"Cut!" Liu Jia'an frowned and shouted at them, "Zhongxi, what's going on? Ankle sprained?"

Fang Zhongxi's face was ghastly pace. He looked anguished with cold sweat on the tip of his nose. After resting for some time sitting on the ground, Fang Zhongxi raised his head, "Sorry, director. I feel a little uncomfortable."

Liu Jia'an was ill-tempered, but this was about the actor's health, he could only suppress his anger and turned to Wang Chengcheng and Li Hongxiu, "You two get prepared. We'll shoot your part later."

The two of them responded and went to their own dressing room.

While Fang Zhongxi tried a few times but still couldn't pick himself up. He could only say to Yu Qinghuan with a very low voice, "Come on. Give me a hand."

"Zhongxi, isn't your broker here today?" asked Yu Qinghuan while sending him to the rest room after helping him up.

"Hm." Fang Zhongxi answered with a low voice, like he didn't want to talk about it.

Yu Qinghuan was not a gossiping person and asked no more. When he helped Fang Zhongxi sit on the couch in the rest room and was about to leave, he inadvertently scanned his collar and immediately got surprised.

Fang Zhongxi now was only wearing a thin costume, the fastener on the top of which was unfastened, exposing the deepred marks on the skin.

Though having not experienced, Yu Qinghuan was an adult after all, he immediately recognized what those were.

"You see it?" noticing his staring, Fang Zhongxi didn't panic but only raised his head and said blandly, "I hope you can keep it to yourself."

"Don't worry." Yu Qinghuan withdrew his eyes and said, "I'm not interested in other's personal life." then he turned around and was about to leave.

When he just took one step, Fang Zhongxi's cold voice was heard from behind, "do you look down on me?"

"You overthink it." said Yu Qinghuan without turning his head, "there are too many ways ahead and everyone has his own choice. So I don't have a thing with your choice at all."

The narrow and small rest room, the sullen atmosphere, everything here made Yu Qinghuan nearly suffocate. He didn't want to stay here one second longer. So before Fang Zhongxi said anything, he already pulled the door open and strode away.

The wind in midwinter was dry and cold but had a kind of refreshing feeling. Yu Qinghuan took a deep breath and sat in a corner, staring at the ground blankly.

This was one of the reasons why he hated this circle. Everyone wanted to be famous by hook or by crook. The dark side of humanity was ruthlessly exposed here.

But when Fang Zhongxi asked him whether he looked down him, he still lied.

In fact he looked down on this kind of people who used his face or even his body to exchange for a future.

"Qinghuan, something on your mind?" a grandfatherly and gentle voice was heard from above his head. Yu Qinghuan hurriedly stood up and greeted, "Teacher Wang."

Wang Zhensheng waved his hand and sat beside him, "don't stand on ceremony with me. Finally you got a little time. I think we can have a talk."

"It's nothing actually," said Yu Qinghuan with his eyes lowered, "it's just some things I can't think through."

"You are young. Why bother?" Wang Zhensheng shook his head, "Qinghuan, this is your advantage but also your disadvantage. When I was your age, I would do whatever I want. Anyway I am young. I can start over even if I fail."

After a pause, seeing Qinghuan still looked in low spirits, Wang Zhensheng didn't push him but changed another topic, "what's your plan after shooting The Line of Life and Death?"

"I want to go to the Grand Theater to learn and improve my acting skills. And then I'm gonna shoot How to Love you," Yu Qinghuan told him his plan he had arranged for himself, but still looking a little confused, "after that, I still got no plan."

"I remember I asked you last time," The smile on Wang Zhensheng's face gradually gone, he said to Yu Qinghuan seriously, "I asked if you hate acting, but you didn't answer me. What if I ask you again today?"

Yu Qinghuan also thought about it very carefully for a while and answered, "I don't hate acting. I just…kind of hate this circle."

One could say he was really bold enough to say such words. If others heard of it, they would turn up their noses at it and sniggered that Yu Qinghuan was still wet behind the ears. But Wang Zhensheng just nodded and didn't judge, but asked, "Why is that?"

This time Yu Qinghuan answered without even thinking, "because it's too fickle and utilitarian. And in this circle, I feel like every move of mine is under people's eyes. I can't do things I want to do. I have no freedom at all."

"Qinghuan," Wang Zhensheng looked at him and said earnestly, "candid camera and paparazzi are really something you can't avoid in this circle. But if you are low-pitched enough, protecting your own privacy isn't so difficult as you imagined."

��And, what do you think freedom is? Freedom is not like as you imagined, you can do whatever you want, but when you don't want to something, you can say no."

Yu Qinghuan's heart skipped a beat and he held his breath.

Wang Zhensheng continued, "Every circle has its own unspoken rules. Absolute clean place doesn't exist. If you want to quit this circle to avoid such grey zone, you are wrong."

"So why don't you change your way of thinking? When you are powerful enough to say no to the rules, or you could even make the rules yourself, will you still care about those things binding you?"

Yu Qinghuan lost in his words, he even didn't know when Wang Zhensheng left. When he came to himself, the sun was already hanging over his head.

The sun in winter was not scorching hot, but it didn't have that kind of warmth in summer. Yu Qinghuan raised his head with his eyes narrowed, feeling the sunlight jumping on his face.

Now it was time to decide on what path to follow.

Since Fang Zhongxi hadn't recovered, the shooting was also postponed. After staying at the set for a while, Yu Qinghuan went back to the hotel. When he was going to the bathroom to take a shower, Yu Xin stormed in with a pair of red eyes.

"Dude, what happened?" asked Yu Qinghuan while closing the door quickly.

"Qinghuan," Yu Xi clenched his fists, veins bulging out on his forehead, looking extremely angry. He nearly gritted his teeth to restrain his grief and said word by word, "Shen Ji used his connections to change another broker."

Shen Ji was under him for six years and he also gave all his best resources to him. But in the end Shen Ji kicked him out relentlessly.

He understood that Shen Ji wanted to be famous. If he explained that he wanted to change another broker, Yu Xin might not stop him. But he chose such a ruthless way, which apparently indicated that he wanted to draw a clear line between them.

"Am I stupid and blind!?" Yu Xin pulled his own hair hard, with all regrets and humiliation on his face.

"Dude, it's all right." Yu Qinghuan comforted him while patting his back to soothe him, "it's better to get rid of such people like him sooner than later."

"There're things you don't know." Yu Xin shook his head, nearly shedding tears.

He knew that his connections were limited. Compared with those brokers capable of dealing with all men, he was too far behind. But he had really been trying and given the celebrities under him the best resources. But still he got dumped…

Is there really no real friendship in this circle?

"He is not the only celebrity under your hands." Yu Qinghuan couldn't bear to see Yu Xin like this, he couldn't help raising his tone while frowning, "You still have me."

Yu Xin raised his head, looking at Yu Qinghuan surprisingly, "Qinghuan, will you really use me? Even when you go viral?"

"Sure," answered Yu Qinghuan without any hesitation, "you are my only broker in this life!"

"Qinghuan…" Afraid that Yu Qinghuan might see his red eyes, Yu Xin tuned his head and said sullenly, "you have to win some credit for me. Show those people! It's not that I can't make them popular! It's their own problem!"

Yu Qinghuan was caught dumbfounded. Everything after his rebirth was fast skimming over in his head, like playing a movie.

There are things that he can't escape from, however hard he tried.

He sighed slightly and nodded under Yu Xin's expectant eyes, "Hm."