Chapter 20: Nathaniel's conflict in mind

"I just don't want to date a girl like her. I don't want to sugarcoat it, she is plain and seemed to be boring that's why I don't want to go out with her" I replied, not looking at Pat.

"Alright, fine. You should play around her for a while and break her heart if it gets boring. Come on, Cassanova. With that look of yours, that girl is begging to be loved by you" Pat said and drink his soda.

With the orange and pinkish skies and the subtle sound waves of the ocean, it was afternoon. I lean against the railings, shake my head hearing what Pat said, and drink my soda.

"Looks can be deceiving but I'm not a type of a guy who likes to date anyone"

"Looks can be deceiving but I'm not a type of a guy who likes to date anyone," Pat mimics. "Oh come on. If I were you, I would totally hang out with her but it is your choice, man"

"We only live once so.. why not double the fun while we still live?" He added. "You know, the reason why I like to double the fun and to date a lot of girls because..." he paused, looking at the distance as if reminiscing from the past.

"Because.. girls can't be trusted. They gave you love and then take it back, leaving you begging for their love. And I decided to..."

"To what?" I asked, not looking at him.

"To play along with them. Love is like you are gambling yourself to that person but.." He shakes his head, "I'm done with love. So, I decided to have fun. I just can't let myself being always the loser in love"

I didn't answer but continued to drink my soda.

"Anyway, you've been crushing on that .. what's her name again? That girl you helped out in the grocery store?"

"Olivia"

"Yeah yeah, that girl. Olivia, huh? I didn't know that she was a student next in our classroom"

A smile tugs on my lips, "She is the queen bee of that society women club at school, she is the type of girl that I want to date"

"Ohhhh, Mr. Cassanova is into those girls. Classy." Pat teasingly said.

I laughed at Pat's remark.

"Stop calling me Cassanova. Many girls did have a crush on me but I didn't reciprocate my love to them" I paused. "I like to tell them that I don't like them than telling them that I like them even though, I'm not. I don't want to be a jerk..." I added.

Pat looked at me weirdly.

"I'd like to break their hearts than to play it. They are not my type, those girls that confess their love to me isn't my type." I added.

A phone suddenly rings, it was Pat's. He pulled his phone out of his pockets and read it, "Gotta go, man."

"Your hot girlfriend?" I asked. He scoffs, shakes his head in amusement and shoves his phone back into his pockets.

"You mean.. my fifth hot girlfriend?"

My eyes widened out of surprise, "You just got.. 2 as I've known?"

He laughed, "Like I said, double the fun!" and give me a pat on the shoulder. "I gotta go, she is alone at home sooo.."

'Ohhh.." I said as I watch him go to his motorbike. "Sexy time, huh?"

He hops into his bike and looks at me as he put on his helmet.

"But if you change your mind, to have fun... then I got you. I know a lot of girls" Pat winked and he went his way.

Looking back, I was often times stereotyped as a guy that dated a lot of girls. I may be flirty, I just do that for fun but I don't want to date. A lot of girls like to confess to me but they are not just my type.

"I- I watch you from afar and I admire you" Her hair is in braids, she is wearing a long skirt with no makeup.

"Please, go out with me" It was Daphne. She looked at me with a smile on her face, I gave her a subtle smile. I often received confessions but I didn't date any one of them.

"Thank you for confessing your love to me but...I'm sorry... I don't want to go out with you"

Harsh but straightforward.

Daphne went silent, she didn't answer nor didn't know what to reply from what I said. Tears slowly streamed down her cheeks, I walk towards her and pat her head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you'll meet the guy who'll love you soon" and I left.

I'd rather be the heartbreaker than a player.

I sighed as I jump into my bed, I don't know why but Daphne is in my mind. Having a fight with a Byrce didn't bother me, what I'm bothered at is why I'm acting so immature towards Daphne that is only talking to Bryce.

She can talk to anyone, it shouldn't be a big deal to me. I sit up and looked at the view by the sliding window. Having a conflict within myself just like how the ocean waves that I saw in the distance, crashing against each other.

I don't exactly know why I'm feeling this way. The loneliness I felt after I'm dumped by Olivia and I'm not quite sure to myself if I would love someone again.

Ever since I dated Olivia, she let me feel that love is like heaven but seemed to be so hell after she decided to break my heart. She was my first girlfriend, she was my first heartbreak.

I loved her, trusted her, and gave her 100 percent of my love.

Maybe Pat's sentence back then was right, I never knew love would be the same as he defines it. Love is like gambling yourself to the person that you love. I sighed and grabbed my phone, my notifications were endlessly popping up.

Girls were dropping me a message over and over as if they want me to notice their message and reply or... having the hopes to date them.

Maybe, the reason why I don't like Daphne talking with Bryce it's simply because Daphne isn't giving me much attention but I knew that we are only doing this for display. Maybe, I just want someone to not let me feel I'm... lonely.

What the fuck I'm talking about, so immature but...

Daphne made me think like this.