Body shutting down

I dragged myself to my apartment door. I forgot how I even got here. Basically lost into my mind and not yet escaping my chains that hold me still. My hand was constantly shaking when I tried to get the keys out of my back pocket. What's happening to me? The green eyes of mine widened and I couldn't express the way they did because they hurt so much. No tears and no blurry sight because of them. Don't cry, don't tell me that I'm ok because I'm not.

"You ok?" A voice that I didn't recognize this time and a tap on my shoulder that I didn't know scared me so much. The reflexes flashed out with a bright light holding onto me. Instant contact of touch with another person's hand, and I fell. I was shaking on the floor, and my back felt the rough grooves through it. As I tilt my head my eyes could see the red pricks of capart poking out and staring at me. It reminded me of the blood that flowed from that woman. Why? Why? Why?

She was pretty and she was my wife. Kill me now, and take me away forever. I hurt her. The inside of me can't take the pain I'm carrying right now.

"Ambulance!" The voice; I couldn't erase the mask it covered, it was hiding from me and my eyes were in shock from the fall. They shut for a few seconds and opened again to where I could see glimpses of the hallway of crowded neighbors around me. A tap on my shoulder, a slight tug on my head lifting me up. Bright lights burning my eyes, and forcing them to close. Many people were near me now, and I felt so bad. I was a burden on all them. I'm sorry for everything it actually felt like I was saying these words, but I wasn't, just all in my head apparently. Leave me on the ground, where I need to be, where I belong. But the people running for me and talking to me are just too nice and helpful of a person they don't know. A person that killed someone. A person that belongs in jail and that needs be locked up for life.

The crowded men around me and the woman beside me holding my head on her lap, didn't know who I was. But it was a good thing that they didn't or they would let a murderer like me die alone in my own mind and weak body. My heavy eyes wouldn't let me see the woman's face, but my heart knew who she was, and I was glad that she was here.