I am not a toy

"How did you get here? Where is your bike?" Saint asked Perth.

"My bike? It's...... at the the campus parking area."

"At the campus? Then how did you get here?"

"I came here by bus?"

"What type of person rode on a crowded, dusty bus when you have a bike?" Saint talking to himself while switch on the car by car key. Perth only smiled reluctantly.  Because as soon as he heard Saint is sick he ran from the campus. But he realized that he was not with his bike after he was running half way. So he took the bus instead to went back to campus to pick his bike.

"Why are you acting wierd all of a sudden? Come on get in the car." They sat on the car and heading to campus.

"P', you know how many days I've longing for this moment? I am so happy P'Saint." While Perth talking with Joy Saint was thinking something in his head without listening Perth.

Will it be okay if I talk to Perth about me and P'Zee? But yesterday P'Zee didn't let me tell Perth. So if I tell him now isn't it look like I am going his back? Saint was thinking about tell the truth to him but he couldn't do it. He didn't want to going Zee's back. So the ride was very awkward for Saint but for Perth it was a journey to heaven.

At the campus...

When they arrived at the campus the other students were noticed that Saint and Perth was coming together.  So they was living at their own fantasy at the moment.

"Hey look at that. They are coming together."

"So it means they are living together?"

"Look at them, I am so jealous."

So lots of students were fangirling over them. And they about to get off of the car the students rushed to them.

"Hey, Perth and P'Saint are you living together?" A girl asked them.

"Huh what?" Saint got confused by her question but as for Perth, he smiled ear to ear.

"Perth why are you smiling now? Is this why you came to my home by bus?" He wishpered to his junior.

"Perth, P'Saint can we take a picture of you too, please?" Another girl asking for their picture.

"Huh? No, it's...." when Saint about to refused Perth interrupted him and let them take their picture.

"Yes you can No problem." While he said this Saint staring at him furiously but he couldn't do anything.  So he also let them without no other choice.

"Err..... we have a class so please excuse us." Saint excused himself from them and dragged Perth with him.

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"Why did you interrupted me when I tell them about the living together?" Saint asked Perth with angry.

"Don't angry at me P', they are living in their fantasies. So why do we have to let them down?"

"Listen Perth,  I can't live for their fantasies. Go to class." Saint said coldly and left Perth.

"You won't only live in their fantasy P' but you will live with me in my realiy." Perth said himself while Saint leaving.

Saint's POV...

"P'Zee, come on pick up my call." Saint tried to call Zee so many times but he didn't get any answer from the opposit.  So he got anxiety by the situation. Then he got a notification on his phone. So he  excitedly took his phone and checked the notification.  But after he saw that his excitement turned into headache.  He thought he might get a message from his boyfriend but it turned out someone posted Perth and Saint's couple photo on Facebook fan page. They created a fan page for PerthSaint. 

It made his situation even worse and the anxiety was rising inside of him.

"Saint!! What are you doing here?" When Tommy looking for Saint he found him at the canteen sitting nervously. So he rushed to him and talked to Saint But Saint didn't give him any response. 

"Why are you looking anxious?" He asked affectionately but Saint gave him the you are the reason asshole look. He didn't mention about that, he decided to keep silent.

" I am asking you Saint, tell me something. " he forced Saint.

"Nothing. I am ok. I am going to class." Saint left the class after gave his friend the answer which everyone give when they are not ok.

"I think he still worry about what happened last night." Tommy said himself as he looking at Saint leaving. But he forgot that he has class too.

"Oi Saint wait for me." And then he ran after him.

Zee's POV...

"Zee it's ok, everything will be alright. Don't be sad na." Jimmy said worriedly.

"Yeah I am ok don't worry. " Zee gave him a fake answer with fake smile.

"Excuse me doctor you have an appointment now." A nurse came and informed Zee's schedule.

"Yes I remember I am coming." Zee left the room and he forgot to take his phone with him. After he went there was a notification pop up on his phone. So Jimmy took the phone to check it up.

There was a photo with the caption The new hot couple arrived campus together. So it made Jimmy to think maybe it's the best. At the same time he felt relieved that Zee left the phone here. So he immediately hid the post.

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Two days later...

It's already two days passed but Saint didn't get any call from Zee or Zee didn't answer his call. So it made Saint crazy inside of him.

"P'Zee, why are you doing this to me? Don't you know how much I missing you? I really miss you P', please come back to me. If I did something wrong please let me know but don't ignore me P'Zee. It's killing me. I am always waiting for you." He sent a message for his doctor through the line app.

"SAINT, don't ignore me ok. What the hell are you thinking you are doing?" Tommy rushed to Saint and asked him furiously.  Because whenever Tommy asked Saint about his mood he always told him I am ok. But Tommy knows his friend was not ok. So he decided to asked straightforwardly.

"What Tommy? You s....see I am o...ok." Again he told the same answer but this time he wasn't strong.  He looked weak.

"You telling me you ok. But look at yourself Saint. You look pale and very weak. You can't even talk clearly. Are you even get enough sleep?" While Tommy scolded Saint he was looking at his phone as he expecting Zee's reply. When he opened the line app, the message marked as read. But there wasn't any reply. So he got really worried and furious at the time.

"Why are you looking at your phone?" Tommy took Saint's phone from him and looked.

"He didn't talk to you yet? That's why you acting like this?" Tommy understood and asked him in concern.

Saint tilted his head and told him as he looked at Tommy, "now y....you know, te....tell me what should I do?" He looked so worried and weak.

"I am g.....going to meet him. I can't d...do this anymore." Saint said as he stood up from his seat but he stumbled as soon as he tried to walk. But Tommy caught him before he fell down. Saint went unconscious. 

"Saint are you ok. Saint look at me." Tommy got scared and he tried to get Saint back to his senses but  unfortunately he fainted. So Tommy took Saint to the campus pharmacy.

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"Don't worry,  he fainted because he hadn't get any food or sleep for two or three days. So I give him saline.  After he wake up make sure he have some food and good rest for two days." The doctor said to Tommy after he checked him up and went.

Tommy got very furious when he looking at Saint laying on the bed unconsciously. Saint's this condition made him hate Zee with all his gut. His nerve was throbbing to hit Zee. So he decided to talk to Jimmy first before he kill Zee.

"I want to meet you today. Will you free?" Tommy texted Jimmy.

"I will. Let's meet at 6 p.m at the cafe beside your campus." He replied as soon as he got the message.

"Hmmm....." Saint moaned slowly while he woke up. When he opened his eyes slowly, he noticed the surrounding.  It's not looked like his bedroom nor classroom.  So he confusingly looked around and he noticed Tommy was doing something beside the table at the corner of the room.

"Aw, are you up?" Tommy asked Saint and came back to him with a glass of juice.

"Where am I?" He asked with a cracked voice.

"You are in the campus pharmacy now. You fainted before.  So I took you here." Tommy explained to Saint.

"Pharmacy? But I have to meet P'Zee." Saint said as he tried to got up from the bed but he couldn't.  He hadn't any strength.  So he laid down again.

"Saint, listen to me please, I beg you. Doctor said you have to take rest for two days. So don't do anything crazy. " Tommy said with emotionless tone. Because he was angry at Saint too.

"Drink this juice. It will give you some strength . After you get the stamina we can get back home." Tommy said as he walked away.  Saint understood Tommy is angry at him. So he didn't protest and did what Tommy said.

5.30 p.m at Saint's apartment...

"Take rest ok? I will get back in two hours. Don't get up from bed. If you want water, here it is. If you hungry, I already cut some apples. There is on the table beside your bed. So don't strain until I am back. And if you want to go to the bathr..." he got cut off with middle of his line.

"Tommy I am just weak. I am not paralyzed ok? And I will get rest until you return. Don't worry about me." Saint said as he smiled at his friend.

"Good boy." Tommy said as he caressed Saint's cheeks and kissed him on his head and left. After his friend went he thought about Zee again.

"Are you angry at me? I miss you so much. So you miss me?" Saint asked as he looking at his ring which Zee gave him. The he went sleep as he kissed on the ring.

At the restaurant...

"I am sorry. Did I make you wait for too long?" Tommy apologized Jimmy.

"Not so long. I've just arrived." Jimmy said casually and smiled.

"Hmm." Tommy nodded his head slowly.

"Err, would you like to have some?" There was an awkward silent between them so Jimmy tried to reduce the awkwardness. So he showed Tommy the menu card and asked.

"I didn't come here to have dinner with you. I just want to know." Tommy said coldly.

"Hey calm down.  Why are you looking like you want to kill someone?" He asked reluctantly.  Because he knew Tommy would exaggerate if anything happened to Saint. So he wanted to calm him down to have a clear talk.

"Tell me what you want to know?" So Jimmy asked him calmly.

"What the fu*k is wrong with your friend? Why is he doing this?" He asked furiously.

"What are you talking about?" He pretended like he knew nothing.

"Don't act like you don't know.  I know you well aware of what I am talking about."

"Hmm, ok I don't want to do that too. I will say it openly.  First I also furious like you for what Zee did. But now I am thinking it's the right thing." He said as he looked at his phone.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked furiously at the same time confusingly.

"Look at this." So he decided to show the pictures which posted on Facebook.

"So what? This is just a fan page. But we all know the truth. Especially Zee knows. " he didn't get shock because he knew about Saint.

"But looking like this Saint is happy with Perth no? They were staying together afterall." Jimmy said like he blamed Saint.

"Don't talk shit about about my friend. If you don't know about him then shut up." Tommy said angrily as he grabbed Jimmy's collar.

"Hey calm down.  Everyone looking at us." When Jimmy warned Tommy about the people surrounded them, he decided to calm himself down and started to explain about the photo issue.

"This photo is nothing. In fact I am the reason behind this." He said calmly.

"What do you mean?" He asked in confusion.

"This morning Perth called me.  He said Saint didn't pick up his call. He asked why? At that moment I didn't have the time to think so I just came up with an idea that he was sick. That's why he went to Saint's to check him up. And for me Perth is better than your friend. He is the person who really cares about Saint."

"What makes you think that?" Jimmy asked in surprise.

"When I said Saint was sick Perth immediately cut the call. He didn't asked anymore question. He just cut and went straight to check him up. But your friend,  he is totally an ass. He just doesn't deserve Saint. He really made my friend sick today." He said furiously.  In this conversation Tommy got really furious.

"Is he sick?" Jimmy asked worriedly.

"Yes. You know who is the reason? Your asshole friend."

"Please don't say that, Zee really loves Saint. From my point of view he loves Saint more than he love himself. And I am really sorry I shouldn't talk about Saint like that. But don't think bad about Zee. The photo is not an issue for him. He has his reason but I can't tell you what it is. But.... we can make them meet." Jimmy reassured Tommy through the smile.

"Hmm. I will be happy As long as my friend will be happy." Tommy got little calm. And he was getting ready to leave.

"Err, I also wanted to talk to you something." He said reluctantly.

"What?" Tommy asked as he looking at Jimmy for his response.

"I think you are not a child to not to see my ......." when Jimmy started to talk about feelings Tommy cut him off.

"I know P', I know the reason behind your teasing or whatever you called. But I don't know about my feeling.  Whenever you come closer to me, my heart always flutter. But I don't think it's love. Because we were not used to be lovey dovey. So I think we can be friends for now. Let's see where it goes. And I should go. Saint has to take his medicine. " he left the place after gave him a warm smile.

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Saturday 5 p.m....

"Tommy! Where are you taking me? I told you I have to go meet P'Zee." Tommy forced Saint to go with him. But Saint refused to go. Because he wanted to meet P'Zee. Tommy said he had a surprise for him. But Saint kept nagging throughout the ride.

"Hoo Saint please stop. My ears are hurt. I think it's bleeding now. You want to know where I am taking you with me?" Tommy got irritated.

"Hmm." Saint nodded his head as he pouted his face.

"See for yourself. You will be happy. Just wait only two minutes." He gave him a warm smile.

Zee's POV...

"Tommy why are you took me here?" They were at a beautiful sunset park. When we look at it from here the sunset looks very bright and beautiful.

"P'Zee!!." While Zee asking Jimmy about their arrival he heard a very familiar voice. As soon as he heard the voice his heart was beating really fast. He turned as he prayed himself into his mind that it's shouldn't be the person who Zee think it is. But his bad luck , that was the same person.

As soon as Saint saw Zee he ran towards him and hugged like a puppy which saw his lost mother after long time.

"P'Zee, where were you this whole time? I really miss you, you know? Don't you miss me?" He asked Zee like a kid while he hugging him. Zee couldn't control his feelings so he hugged him back tightly. He hugged Saint like he didn't want to let him go.

"I miss you too nong." Zee said with great concern. 

"Then why didn't you answer my calls? You didn't even call me." Saint seperated from the hug and asked longingly.

"Err, I was busy with my schedule at the hospital." He said reluctantly.  But even Saint believed him. Zee was looking at Saint sinfully because of his innocence.

"Why are you looking at me like that P'?"

"P' love you so much na Nong Saint. Whatever happens between us please keep that in your mind." Zee staring at Saint for a while with lots of love and said with a tearful eyes.

"Why are you saying like this P'?" Saint asked in confusion and with a little fear into his heart.

"Errr..... Saint, if I ask you one thing can you do it for me?" Zee asked Saint without his will. But he had to asked him even if he didn't want.

"Of course P', I will do anything for you. I really love you P'." Saint said without any hesitation and second thought. And he caressed his P's cheek and kissed him gently.

But Zee didn't kiss him back. He controlled himself from kissing Saint. Because he though it's not right for his brother. Zee promised Perth that he will support his love with whoever's it is. (But what about the one he gave to Saint.  Let's not discuss about it here)

So after a while he pulled back himself from Saint and asked him as he staring at Saint's eyes.

"If you do anything for me, can you please accept Perth?" He asked Saint through the tears.

"What?" Saint seperated from Zee.

"P'Zee, do you know what are you saying now? Don't say like that even as a joke. I can't even imagine that." Saint said as he smiled through the heartbreak.

"I...I am not joking nong Saint. I am really serious. Please accept him for me na. He really loves you." He said as he hold Saint's hands.

"What is he talking about?" Tommy asked Jimmy furiously. But Jimmy couldn't say anything.  He only kept silent as he bowed his head slightly in guilt.

"You are insane P'. How can you ask me like this? Don't you think how upset I would be if you asked me this? Don't you think how heartbreaking I will?" Saint asked furiously and Zee couldn't say a word instead of kept silent.

"P', can I ask you a question? You only care about your brother? Don't you care about my feelings at all?"

"Don't say that Saint. I am doing this because I care about you." Zee protested as he hold Saint's face. But Saint didn't let Zee touch him.

"Don't touch me P'. When you touch me it's burning up now." He said as he stared at Zee angrily. Q

"If you care about him you wouldn't asked him like that?" Tommy got really furious right now. He couldn't bare Saint's tears so he interfered with Zee.

"Tommy calm down. Let them talk." Jimmy stopped and pulled Tommy with him.

"But your friend is hurting my friend." He said angrily.

"We shouldn't be here. Let them clear their problem themselves, come on." Jimmy dragged Tommy away without his will.

Saint couldn't think about anything. His head was spinning so fast. He couldn't even believe what he heard before.  It was like a cruel dream for him. He was longing that he would not wake up from this horrible dream? He couldn't even look at Zee's face.

"Please Nong Saint listen to me." Zee said as he went to hold Saint's hand. But Saint pulled back his hand and said,

"P'Zee, you know in this world you are the first person who showed me the light of happiness and pushed me into the fire of hell at the same time. But still I love you so much. But don't just think that I will do this thing you asked for that. I am not a toy which you finish playing and leave it to your brother to play him again. I have a heart too and you are the only person in it and you only will." He said and walked away as heartbroken from Zee at the same time the sun went down behind them . Zee kneel down in hurt and scream "I hate you." Looked up at the sky (He referred god).