When in Doubt, Stay Calm

Having doubts is normal. Everyone has them. It's a regular part of life as a rational being. What to do when you have doubts is the tricky part. People end up having a full-on panic or anxiety attack because they doubt too much. Normally, the best thing to do is to try and stay calm, take deep breaths, drink some water, and listen to whatever music you like.

Unfortunately, this was not working for me. It was late in the afternoon and I cannot stay still. I would stand up and pace around the room then decide to sit down, bouncing my leg up and down, just before standing up again. My hands were shaking and my palms were sweaty as Sunshine tore through my closet for something I can wear to the meeting with the royal family.

Yep. it's Friday. The past week went by so fast. After the crazy events last Monday, everything after that was more serene in comparison. Liam spent late nights with Charles and Father trying to list down possible perpetrators and their motives for embezzling. Mike had left me alone for most of the week. According to Sunshine, his mood lightened a bit after she spotted Mike talking to his ex, Haley, again.

Of course, I had told Sunshine about the job guarding the prince. I tell her literally everything. Besides, she was here to make sure I dressed appropriately because if it were up to me, I would show up in ripped jeans, an oversized sweatshirt, and some combat boots. In the words of Liam, I cannot "show up looking like an unrefined, lazy biker chick". Even if what he said sums up my style perfectly, I know deep down he is right. I need to make a good show of myself. The crown prince is one of my father's closest friends after all.

Sunshine apparently had enough of my nerves and huffed as she tossed me a dress. I caught it and stopped me in my tracks. I held up the dress Sunshine tossed me and grimaced. It was midnight blue with an a-line tulle skirt, a v-neck neckline, flounce short sleeves, and it was covered in silver glitter. This was the epitome of a girly dress. There was no way this would be mine. What was it doing in my closet?

"Where did this come from?" I asked my best friend, my face further frowning at the thought of wearing this dress tonight.

She giggled as she pushed me into the bathroom that was adjacent to my room. She closed the door and I heard something being put up against it. I was locked in here and she would not let me out until I wore the dress.

"I bought it for you. It's special for the occasion. It's only once you can make a good impression on your prince charming." Sunshine screamed from the other room.

I swear I could have heard her eyes roll. There was no fighting her on this. She has planned this "event" in her mind for so long that changing her vision would ensure my demise. I have no choice but to comply with her demands. After I stared at the dress for a full minute, I let out an annoyed groan deciding it was better to get it over with already.

I ran my hands over the dress. I was in awe. I hate to admit it, but I look really good in the dress. The midnight blue made my usually dull grey eyes sparkle and the shape of the dress complimented my figure. I stared at the person in the mirror. There was no way this was Adelaide Isla, and most definitely was not Grace Wilson. This person was more sophisticated and refined than I would ever be. She definitely did not look like someone who would throw a punch or keep knives in her pockets. If my mother had not left me at an early age, maybe I would have had recognized my reflection.

A gasp had broken my trance and I looked away from the mirror. The door was opened and Sunshine leaned on the door framed. She stared at me with her mouth hanging open. My nerves automatically came rushing back. Did I look okay? Was it not what she had in mind? I think I am going to throw up.

"Shut. The. Front. Door." Sunshine let out slowly.

Was this good or bad? I need to get out of this dress now. I should just tell Liam to go without me, saving myself from the inevitable embarrassment.

"Addy, you look stunning. I cannot believe how amazing I am!" She recovered from her initial shock.

I let out a breath that I did not even realize I was holding in. I looked back at the mirror and absentmindedly ran my hands over the dress and through my hair. Was I really that nervous? Why was I even nervous in the first place? I may not have seen these people face-to-face in almost 4 years, but most of my memories with them contained some sort of familial comfort.

Queen Louisa and Crown Princess Caroline were always willing to help me when it comes to girl stuff. Between them and Sunshine's mother, Sylvie, they made sure I had female company instead of being cooped up in a house full of brooding men. King Alexander was always very welcoming and Crown Prince Robert was always ready to lend a hand to my family. If I had so many wonderful memories with them, why are my palms sweaty? They were practically family, no amount of time would change that.

"Are you okay, Addy? You should just stop doubting and worrying your pretty little head off." Sunshine said as she pulled me out of the bathroom and sat me down in front of my dressing-table.

While Sunshine was back to rummaging through my closet for a pair of shoes and some accessories, I looked through my makeup collection trying to form an idea of how to fix the mess that is my face. One of the only hobbies I kept as I grew older was makeup. I always justified makeup as a form of self-expression. I may have built walls, but there is a window only accessible through makeup.

As soon as I finished putting on my makeup, Sunshine had already set aside a pair of silver stilettos, a silver chunky bangle, and my navy blue wrapcoat. We had music playing in the background and as soon as Lady Gaga's 'Just Dance' came on, we were both on our feet dancing and singing along. As the song ended, there was a knock on the door.

"Father and Charles will be here soon. You better be ready by the time they come or you'll never hear the end of it." Liam's voice came through the door.

I looked at Sunshine for a full second before we ran about the room gathering the things we need to be able to make me look presentable. I sat down on my bed and put on the shoes and bangle while my best friend heated up the curling iron.

My doubts and worries came rushing back so quickly if we were in a cartoon, my head would have spun. I grabbed my glass of water off the side table and downed it quickly. That helped my mind calm down a little and I could sort my thoughts more clearly now. Maybe my nerves were not about meeting the whole royal family. Maybe it is just because of one exasperating person I had a semi-crush on when I was 12.

"Gosh, Addy. You need to relax and chill. Although, I don't know how you can chill when you look that hot." Sunshine mumbled the last part softly, but apparently not soft enough.

She beckoned me over to the dressing-table and started curling my hair into soft waves. She added a few hair clips as she styled my bird's nest hair into an elegant half-updo. We locked eyes through the mirror after she finished admiring her handiwork. She offered a small smile as she probably saw my nerves. Was I really so much of an open book to her? That's what I get for having such a caring BFF, I guess.

As she began to clean up the mess we made, I went to my side table and pulled open a drawer. Inside was my knife holster. It was to be attached to my thigh with enough space to keep a couple of small throwing knives. I strapped on me before grabbing my backpack off the floor. I pulled out the set of knives I always keep with me and hiked the dress up a little to be able to place the knives in the holster. Sunshine tutted as I fixed the dress, concealing my weapon.

"You are going to the palace. There is no better security than that place." Sunshine sighed, handing me my coat.

"Better safe than sorry. Besides, I may need it to hurt an irritating prince while I am there." I joked, putting on my coat.

"I'm telling you, the only reason he was irritating was due to the fact that he had a crush on you too." She gave me a sly smile as I opened the door of my room and we headed out.

We were saying our goodbyes as I walked Sunshine to her car. She obviously had to slip in her usual prince charming comments into the conversation. This girl will never stop hoping some prince or knight will come and save her. I just smiled and rolled my eyes at the ridiculousness of my best friend as she got into her car and drove away.