Chapter 1

It all started the day I was born. Saying I was an ugly baby would be an understatement. The moment my parents looked at me, is a moment I will never forget. The pure discomfort on their faces was seen a mile away. The doctors and nurses rushed me out as if I was the spawn of Satan and one of his many mistresses. My mother and father refused to hold me, so the doctors placed me into one of the cribs they moved from the viewing room into a small closet. My brother thought it would be funny to video the whole thing, so here I am 24 years later watching it for the millionth time while stuffing my face with ice cream. Its not like I didn't agree with everyone; I was completely hideous. Luckily a nurse found and took pity on me, so she brought me home.

She always told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world. My left eye was two different colors they separated diagonally with violet on top and red on bottom while my right was just plain silver. My skin was always pale even with my many hours in the sun. My hair was always a dark brown mop on my head, I was your average height with a rectangular body. Its safe to say I didn't have any friends and its not like I went outside to socialize anyways. I work from home as a novelist and have written quite a few books, not like they were big hits, but I had some fans. No one knows who I am and that's the way I like it.

Yawning I turn the T.V. off and stretch out my tired muscles before throwing away the empty carton. Suddenly there was a knock at the door "Alice open up! Did you forget already?", my mother called from behind the door. Remember the nurse from before that's her. "Coming!", I shout back before scrambling to open the door. She looked at me with stern glare as her eyes rake over my pajama clad attire with bunny slippers. "You were watching that dreadful video, again weren't you?" she accused as I smile at her sheepishly. "Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't", I reply trying to sound confident.

Crystal wasn't a scary person per say, until you get on her bad side. She was a bit tall with slightly tanned skin. Her black hair was in a short pixie cut and her eyes were a light hazel that liked to change colors from time to time. She didn't dress like most people, but that was one of the things I liked most about her. She liked to dress in black clothes, I honestly don't think I ever saw her in a different color. Before I knew it, she barged right past me and into the living room where I once lay. "I should have done this a long time ago", my mother growled out before she took the DVD out and smashed it in her hands. She pinched the bridge of her nose before heavily sighing, "You are more beautiful than you realize, but one day you will" Crystal says tiredly.

She throws the DVD in the trash before turning to me, "How's the latest book coming along sweetheart?' she asks diverting the topic. "It's going, slowly but surely", I reply with a small smile before walking into the kitchen to make popcorn for our movie night. Since I don't go out much my mom tries to get some of the movies, I wanted to see but never could and we have a movie night. I hear rustling in the living room, and I know its my mom getting the movie set up. The microwave beeps telling me the popcorn is ready. I fish out a large bowl from the cabinet before pouring the popcorn in and take out a couple of sodas from the fridge. My mom walks into the kitchen an helps me carry the snacks and stuff into the living room. We both plop onto the couch making ourselves comfortable as the movie starts.

I chuckle as the title for Detective Pikachu appears on the screen. I am a huge Pokémon fan, so when this came out, I was ecstatic to say the least. A few movies and many hours later my eyelids grow heavy and as I fall asleep, I hear my mother say "Oh, I forgot to tell you something, you have a blind date tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. at the little coffee shop downtown. Do you accept?". I mumble out a small yes before I realize what she is asking and knock out for the rest of the night.

The shrill ringing of my alarm scares me out of bed and my body lands on the floor with a loud thud. Another day another me. I grab some clothes from my closet into my bathroom and turn the cold water on. My eyes stray away from the mirror as I put my dirty clothes in the hamper and step under the rush of cold water. I scrub until my skin is red wishing it was that easy to wash away the ugly. I step out and turn off the shower before wrapping a fluffy white towel around my body. Drying myself off I hear a ding from my phone in my bedroom, so I grab my clothes and hurriedly put them on. It was a text from my mother saying to not forget to go to the coffee shop downtown at 10:00 table five. I curse to myself and check the time 9:45, "Shit!" I exclaimed. I quickly snatch my black converse and try to put them on as I hop out the door.

Not even looking who was sitting at table five I scurry over with my head down and take a seat. A man coughed to the right of me and the next thing I knew he had a spit take...all over my grey shirt. "Don't tell me you're Alice?", the man said with disgust as I nod slightly looking down at the table. "Hey Tyler! What's up? Who are you with?", random guy number two says. The guy I'm assuming is Tyler turns to him and scoffs "No one Mack just some ugly chick, I was just leaving". I bite my lip and say nothing as they both walk away laughing. I calmly get out of the booth out of their vision and rush out of the small café. I knew I should have brought my hood, I thought to myself as I walk at a brisk pace. The next thing I know I've bumped into someone and I fall back onto the sidewalk. Before the person can see my face or ask if I'm alright I run away so I can't embarrass myself further.

I try to calm my beating heart as I enter through my front door of my house. Breathing heavily I stumble into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face from the sink. My eyes travel to the razor next to the sink, with dead eyes my hand reaches out to grab it. The metal razor feels cold against my wrist. I welcome the familiar stinging pain as the razor slides across my wrist. I know it's not right, but I don't care what people say this is the only way to release the pain. I let myself bleed for a few minutes before washing off my wrist in the sink and pat it down with a washcloth. A sigh escapes from my lips as my eyes roam over old scars and I shiver remembering not all of them were from me.

My phone rings again signaling a text from Crystal: "Hey baby! How did it go?" My fingers type up a rely faster than my brain can comprehend "Great, but he's not the right guy for me mom.". I could practically feel her icy stare through my phone, she didn't reply after that. A few moments later she bursts through my front door and wraps her arms around me. "That asshole doesn't know what he is missing out on", she says in a stern tone. I just nod knowing she won't hear anything less. A few hours later my mother leaves but not before making sure I was all right and I automatically think back to my wrist. It still stung but I welcomed it because it means I still feel something other than the numbness I feel every day.