Chapter 2

I reach out to my computer and start to type, three monsters and one family size of cool ranch doritos later another five pages were done. My fingers up to my wrists were cramping up as I stretched them out. Wiping my cool ranch doritos fingers on my pants, a ding sounded on my laptop and a banner showed up on the screen saying you have one new email.

Confused I ignore the email and start to make dinner. Grabbing the ingredients for spaghetti, I start to sing Hoobastank's The Reason as I stir the sauce into the noodles before serving myself a large helping. One thing I was happy about was that no matter how much I ate I never gained any weight. My computer dinged again alerting me of the email again. "Oh, shut up you stupid computer.". I grumble. Placing the dishes in the sink for tomorrow I decide to watch Supernatural before bed. So tired, I think to myself as I turn the T.V. off and head to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep.

My dreams consisted of a pair of beautiful brown eyes that night. Each night was a different colored eye with a different feeling. This time I felt suffocated, trapped, and angry. I was in a cage with black silhouettes everywhere talking and laughing. It was so crowded, and I felt cramped, I felt like I wasn't myself that I had no control and I hated it. I woke up in a sweat and my clothes clung to me like a glove. It took me a few minutes to recollect myself before doing my usual morning routine.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and open my laptop to find the email still there. I debate on whether to open it or not and decide on the former. The email was from a little girl named Payton who apparently was a fan of my books and she wanted to thank me in person for helping her get through hard times from her parents' divorce. I figured I had nothing left to lose so I agreed to meet a week from now in the library at 4:00p.m. After that email my body was going through the motions of writing, drink monster and eat, take a nap, and the list goes on. The days that passed were uneventful and I got bored staying in the same house all day, but I was terrified to go outside so I just stayed bored.

Finally, today was the day I met Payton. My nerves were shot as I tried hard to breathe, my lungs felt like they were being crushed and my heart was trying to jump out of my chest. I repeatedly tried to smooth out my sundress after I wring the hem of it in my hands. A girl maybe nine or ten walked up to me "Are you Alice Rose?", she questioned. I croak out a small "Yes" I hated to admit it but I was jealous of her, she was beautiful. Her hair was a golden yellow that went down to her waist and her eyes were hazel that held a wisdom beyond her years. She had a heart shaped face with freckles lightly scattered across her cheeks and nose. Suddenly I feel a pair of small arms wrap around my waist, I look down and there she was holding onto me tightly as her life depended on it. My heart softens slightly at the sight and I slowly hug her tightly back, I guess we both needed this.

A part of me wondered where her mom or dad was but she insisted it was fine and that her dad was waiting at the restaurant across the street. A few minutes later I gave her my personal phone number and told her whenever she needed to talk, I was one phone call away. She smiled at me and agreed to call if I did the same. She hugged me one last time before whispering, "You're very pretty". I stood shell shocked even after she left and scolded myself for being jealous of a little girl, but how could I not. She was beautiful and I was... nothing, a waste of space and that will never change.

The librarian nodded at me and smiled she always amazed me that she worked in a bookstore when she was blind. She actually put my books on her shelves which I always appreciated. I was shocked to say the least when she told me she could sense auras and that mine was so sad and twisted with a tiny beautiful glow in the center of it all. I tried to help her in the library whenever I did go out and I loved it. I loved the smell of books new and old they gave me a sense of comfort. I loved that when you read a book you were transported in another world. A few minutes before closing time a man walked in looking for some of the new drama books that came in. I swiftly sneaked past him and out the door. I looked back to see the librarian give me a small smile as I left.

A small sigh of relief escaped my lips as I drove my baby the Impala 67 home. I loved my baby, he was black, sleek and oh so shiny. I'm not embarrassed to say his name is Dean and I was only interested in this car because of Supernatural that and it looks pretty cool. I parked my baby in the garage and head into the house. I turn on my music to help me sleep and pass out on my oh so comfy couch.

The next morning, I decided today would be my lazy day. So, that's what I did I went back to bed to wake up again at noon. The rest of the day I was a couch potato only getting up once when the pizza was here. I had ordered my favorite pineapple, mushrooms, spinach, and broccoli. I wasn't a vegetarian I just wasn't the biggest meat fan. I bit into the pizza and moaned, it was so good and warm. Before I knew it the pizza was gone and my stomach was satisfied. My thoughts consisted of nothing but radio silence and Sleeping with Sirens.

I guess I had dozed off because the next thing I knew I was dreaming again. It was more like a nightmare from my memories. I was running home in a storm and I was so focused on getting home that I didn't notice my surroundings. A large man in a trench coat stepped out in front of me and I fell backwards hitting my head hard on the sidewalk. My vision was starting to go fuzzy as my head lolled to the side. There was a glint of something shiny in his hand and the next thing I knew there was a large cut along my stomach and blood was pouring out, and I was losing consciousness fast. The last thing I heard before I passed out was the guy shouting "Die you ugly shit!".

The sound of screaming woke me up and it took me a minute to realize those screams were my own. I remember that night, I had snuck out to go to the park since I knew no kids would be there at that time. As I was running home that... I paused my train of thought as I subconsciously lift my shirt and stare at the long white jagged scar across my torso. My fingers lightly trace over it and I wince at the memory. My mind trails to all the other scars that people have caused, and I start crying. The tears come in waves, as soon as I think I'm done they come crashing in even harder than before. I cried for all the things the world has done, I cried because I was angry at myself for being so weak, and I cried because I could not hold it in any longer.

My face was red and blotchy and my eyes were red and puffy after hours of crying and hugging my knees rocking back and forth on my bed. It was raining and thundering outside, it was funny how the weather matched my mood today. Ever since I could remember I have been terrified of thunder and today was no different. Every time thunder cracked in the sky I jumped as I hid under my covers and covered my ears. I couldn't move from the safety of my bed not until the storm was over. Hours passed until the storm was over, but the rain remained and I couldn't be happier.