Chapter 13: Who do you love? Is it him or me?
"THAT DOESN'T DETERMINE YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO HER!!!"
Xin's words echoed in Jessica's eardrums as her hands tightened around the steering wheel. "That's not true!" She said to herself.
"I mean everything to her, the same way she means the world to me. He just doesn't know how strong our bond is...I'll never let anyone come in between. "
"Lijuan doesn't belong to you. Be the supportive friend, and not the jealous one."
"Fucking get out of my head!!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, commanding his voice to stop replaying.
"He doesn't know anything…" She parked by the side of the road and put a hand over her head. Her tears escaped as she pondered deeply on the situation.
"I'm not jealous...I'm not jealous…" She reached out for her phone, and she marveled at the beautiful picture of Lijuan she used as her lock screen. "I'm not the jealous friend, precious Lijuan, I just care about your well-being, that's all."
"Your friend is happy. Don't ruin it for her! She's finally found someone, and that person is my brother Wu!"
"No, she's not happy. She won't be happy with him...he's a liar…" Her hands shook as she dialed Lijuan's number, but she thought twice about calling.
"I'm not the bad person… I'm just looking out for my favorite person in the world...is that wrong? Why do people always mistake my intentions? Why doesn't anyone want to hear me out? I'm not mean…they just don't like me." The muscles of her chin trembled as her eyes dripped with tears.
"Miss Ahn is an awful person..."
"I can't stay in this place if Miss Ahn becomes the supervisor…"
"Miss Qin doesn't believe us because that bitch Jessica doesn't show her true colours to her."
"She's so abusive, and she's basically average looking… I hate her…"
"You have an ugly personality, and I think you need to eat the makeup in your purse to fix that!"
She pressed her forehead against the steering wheel and allowed the pressure of her tears dozen "So many people say mean things to me. I treat them by their class, and that's suddenly a problem? They're disgusting low class people and they dare insult me?!" She picked up her phone, and she dialed Lijuan's number "This will teach that thug looking man a lesson. I, Jessica Ahn, refuse to take such damage from the words of a poor bartender."
She called Lijuan the first time, but didn't get an answer. She called five more times, and still no answer. Wu popped up in her mind, and she believed he had something to do with it.
"That bastard! I won't let him get away with this. He should mark my words" She drove back home, after pulling herself back together. Once she got home, she didn't stop calling Lijuan's number, and her grandma found her behavior to be quite odd.
She paced back and forth, waiting for Lijuan to call back, but it took almost five hours before she could get the response. She read Lijuan's text then typed in, "There's something important we have to discuss."
Lijuan: When?
Jessica typed in, "Now. I'm heading to your place."
Lijuan: I guess I'll see you there
*
"Jessica Ahn has arrived! Jessica Ahn has arrived!!" The computerized buzzer announced Lijuan's visitor before it opened automatically for her.
Jessica rushed in, panting "Lijuan...We need to talk! We need to talk about Chang Wu!!"
"O...kay? You seem worked up? Did you run a marathon?" She laughed, and Jessica felt so bad because her friend had no clue of what Wu might be hiding. Neither did she.
"Come sit down, let's have tea" Lijuan pat the seat, flagging her companion to come over, and Jessica made moderate strides as her brain considered what to state first.
"Where were you?"
"With my boyfriend, why?"
Jessica frowned. She called him boyfriend now, and the smile on her face convinced her she had a nice evening with him.
"So what about my lovely Wu?" She asked casually, taking a sip from her tea.
"Go...call the cops...do whatever you want and see if it makes Miss Qin happy, but before you do, ask her how she feels." Xins's voice still tortured her conscience, and she submitted to his words.
"Why him?" She asked, lowering her gaze to the white rug underneath her feet.
"Sorry?" Lijuan titled her head in confusion.
"There has to be a reason you chose him…"
"Oh. That's what you mean. I would say maybe...maybe this is destiny. It might be too soon to say this, but Chang Wu and I seem to be perfect for each other. He's the type of man I can never find in the entertainment industry. He's a man for me."
"And me?"
"Huh?"
"What do you feel about me…"
Lijuan laughed "You're my best friend silly."
"You've changed...you smile more...you laugh more...and it's all because of him…"
Something about her tone seemed odd to Lijuan, she wasn't saying it as if it was a good thing, her low voice made her words sound like she didn't like her change.
"Ever since I met him. I have a reason to smile again. To forget about the dumb arrange marriage my mom planned. I have someone that respects me…"
"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE LIJUAN!" Jessica had her head down the entire time, but once she looked up, Lijuan could see the tears forming in her eyes.
"I try my best to make you smile. I do everything and anything you ask, but a man you met two months ago has impacted your life more than your best friend of eleven years."
Lijuan didn't understand what Jessica was trying to say, and wondered what made the conversation sensitive enough to make her cry.
"I don't understand you, Jessica…"
"Can't you see...can't you see we've been distant ever since he came into our lives. You've been spending more time with him lately, and we barely ever see apart from work days."
"I understand, but I don't see how that's Wu's fault."
"Our friendship has gone weak."
Lijuan placed her hand on Jessica's shoulder, then drew her into an embrace.
"Even your scent is different…" she said, and Lijuan spoke "No matter what...you'll always be my best friend. You were the first friend I ever had. You're special to me, Jessica. You've always been."
"that's easy to say…" Jessica said, still in denial of their so-called powerful bond, and it was draining Lijuan's joyful mood.
"Don't you believe when I say that you'll always be my friend?"
"You see…that's the problem Lijuan" Jessica sobbed "I want to be more than your friend. I LOVE YOU! AND I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU, BUT YOU…" Jessica put a hand over her head as her tears escaped her eyes no matter how hard she tried to keep them back.
"Jessica…"
"Who do you love lijuan? Is it him or me? Think about it...think about these disgusting men! You don't need them…You have me, and I'll always be here for you, because I love you."