Suicidal Thoughts

I almost considered it

I considered it

I really considered it

Taking the short straw at Romeo and Juliet's

Star-crossed lovers feat but I don't have a Juliet,

I have a mind that wants to die.

I'm fighting for my life like Romeo is fighting

For Juliet's love.

I'm paralyzed as poison takes my veins

Listening to music with dried tears on my face.

I'm just so tired but so angry

I want to exist without the trauma

Raging like the Montague and Capulet feuds.

Sometimes I think it will destroy me

Feeling reality slip away into oblivion

As depression takes my vision away

Until I can't think straight.

Black vines grip everything I used to love,

They talk to me directly but I can barely smile

"Why can't they notice?"

That thought turns into slush scrambled

By the vines reaching deep into my foundation.

Depression grows deadly black flowers on the vine

Spreading thoughts across my brain telling me

"Your a burden to everyone else"

"Stop fighting nobody will notice or care"

"Go disappear your such a disappointment"

"Nobody wants you"

"You don't deserve to be here"

"Just go die"

The vines almost reach the box laying on

The ground of my already cracked foundation.

The box is beaten up it looks like it's taken hits

Previously in the past.

But inside the box is a beautiful broken mosaic

Of my will to continue living.

The first thing that kills half of the vine

Shrieking in pain crumbling to dust at the memory

Of what he said a few days ago

"You've been here before, you will get out of it"

It didn't kill depression the vines are still growing

But it will never take ahold of me

I want to live for them and for the future me.

I'm so tired

All I want to do is give up

But I won't die for a temporary problem

I won't lay with Juliet.

I'm still destroyed by the vines I can't cure away

But I'll stay afloat with the people I love.