I Feel Like No One
How bad was it?
It
Hurts
A
Lot…
Stuck as the vines grows around my chest
Feeling my ribs constrict
In the bed I can't move out of,
My body has become a silent thunderstorm
The clouds are my depression
It comes out of the sky
As my suicidal thoughts thunder in my head
Until I'm stuck in the cold
Wondering how long I can last
When I can't feel anything.
It's one of those nights again,
The kind where you want to
Yell and scream and cry because nothing is okay
And your not sure it ever will be.
The kind where you stare at your scars,
Wanting to make more.
Just to feel something other than this ache
It is nights like these
Where I'm terrified to keep living.
Where I'm so silent
I can feel my own heart beat.
Retreating into myself
Knowing it's worse than last summer
Slipping away
Realizing I lost everything about me
I feel like no one.
Just a reflection I want to punch
As I beg to see all the good
Others see in me that I can't.
I want to believe it
I want to absorb it like photosynthesis
Trying to keep a plant alive.
I would do anything just to feel anything.
I know I made people worried,
Honestly I'm worried about me too.