Real
ROSE'S P.O.V.
"Do take care of yourself Rose. This afternoon was wonderful. Let's do it again, shall we?" Edward smiled, waving at me from his limo. He was kind enough to drop me off home. I smiled and nodded happily. The limo drove away as I waved back. Edward is so kind. Oh wait, I said that already.
-
"Hah~" I sighed as I fell back on my bed. The sheets felt so soft. I grabbed one of my pillows and held it close to my body. A lot happened today. You would think I would be used to that, or that would be normal, but it's not. My life has gotten crazy. Way crazier than I remember it being. I looked up at my ceiling for a moment. It's only ever peaceful in the comfort of my room. I took my hand and pressed it against my chest as it beat.
Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump.
Still beating. That means I'm alive. The first time I died, well, dreamed I died, I felt my heartbeat get slower and become fainter. "Ugh!" I sit up in frustration. I was getting tired of this back and forth. It's been months, and I still can't tell if that death was real or not. I just need to know...but...the coma was real. I held my head in my hands. I had been quietly beating myself over all this whenever I was alone. Got to hate that about myself. Shaking my head, I lay back down and continue gazing upon my ceiling. Think of something else. Something positive. My mind went back to Edward. Prince Edward Castriel Knight. I still couldn't get over the fact that I went to a fancy expensive restaurant that most definitely would have emptied my bank account dry, and ate a Di...I don't speak French, but it was the best chocolate cake I've ever had in my life! I wish I had brought some to go. Damn it! I whined but thought back on Edward. He did look similar to Liam and was extremely handsome. I blushed and shook my head. What am I thinking?! Stop simping over handsome faces! That's Liam's brother!
"Liam…" I thought back to yesterday and held the pillow tighter. I didn't know how to face him today, but it's not like I could anyway. I'm home now. I look at my phone at the time. "What the…? 12:32?! Oh, my Goddess! What am I doing?! School wasn't over yet!" I sat up semi-panicking. No wonder no one in my neighborhood was saying anything about Edward dropping me off home. Everyone was still working and at school! I got out of bed. Should I head back?? I've never ditched classes before. Not saying I was doing it intentionally, but still! If I try to go back, I'll get punished for not attending classes. My whole day was thrown off because Liam didn't show up. It would take me 15 minutes to walk back to school, and another 10-15 to find my class. Ugh! I sat back down taking my jacket off and throwing it across the room. Forget it. I'll just say I got sick and I was brought home. Just have to hope that he won't get mad at me tomorrow. I groan again and close my eyes. Before I know it, I'm back into the darkness. My old friend.
-
I feel myself laying on my side on the hard ground. My eyes are closed. I see and hear nothing. Something lands on my face and drips down my cheek. I feel another on my chin. It's water. Soon, I hear many droplets of water landing on the ground and me. It's raining. I weakly open my eyes. Strange. Why do I feel so weak? Why is my head pounding? My body feels so sore. I blink a few times and look down trying to find my hands, but they're not there. Instead, they're paws. Paws? I try to move and let out a whine. My voice doesn't sound like that. I must be in my wolf form. I suddenly feel something warm against this cold rain. A puddle of blood is spilling under me. That's my blood. Oh...it's that dream again. I guess I'm dreaming about it again. I just love torturing myself, don't I? My brain is filled with events that led to my death. Just let me close my eyes. It'll be over soon. I start to close my eyes until a bright light appears. That's new. My dream should end soon, but it's not. Suddenly, I'm not laying on grass but floating. No longer am I in wolf form, but I'm in my body again. The dazzling light dies down until I see the most beautiful woman walking towards me. She has eyes that shimmer like gold, a long flowing dark blue dress, skin as dark as the universe, and long white hair that touches the floor. Well, if there was a floor. I'm in this dark universe that's surrounded by dots of light in the distance. Is this...space? I don't understand. What's happening? Who is she?
"Do not be alarmed, my child"
I look up at her, surprised that she spoke. Only then do I take in her features. She's beautiful...no she's gorgeous. No, that's not it either. She has this mystical aura to her, but I can't describe it. Who is this woman?
"W-What's going on? Is this supposed to be happening?" I ask.
She smiles, "I wanted to speak with you, Rosalia," I blink. How does she know my name? Do I know her?
"Speak?" At this point, I sound like I have the incapability of understanding anything. She floats over to me until she stands in front of me. Suddenly, I feel fear, but I don't run or move. I can't move. She raises her hand and I instantly close my eyes. I brace myself for an impact. Anything. Yet, all I feel is a warm hand on my head. I open my eyes and see her smiling down at me. I notice now by how close we are that this woman is extremely tall. However, she seems gentle. I don't know who she is, but I feel as if she won't hurt me.
"I know at this point in your life, you're confused about what is real and what is not. I've come to you to help you ease your confusion"
Is she talking about the dream I had? How does she know about it? Does she know something that can help me?
"It's...It's a dream...isn't it?" I'm not sure why I'm asking her. But if I'm not going to wake up from this dream anytime soon, I may as well go with it.
She removes her hand, "Yes little one. This is all in your dreams. However, your death was not. It was real." She leans down and gently presses her forehead against mine. My eyes widen and my heart starts pounding. The bullying. Love. The hope. The rejection. The pain. Death. It all started coming back like usual, but this time, it felt different. I was seeing my entire life flash before my eyes. From the moment I was born, I watched my entire life play out. I was seeing myself as a baby, growing into a toddler, then I was a few years old. I saw the festival where I first met Liam for the first time. I saw myself grow bigger, and then I was in first grade. I was standing in front of the class as the teacher introduced me as the new student. I was told to sit by Liam. I made my way to the seat and sat down. I looked at Liam and was dazzled by his appearance. A smile appeared on my face as I was happy to be sitting by my mate.
"Uhm...h-hello," I say shyly. He turns and gives me a mean glare.
"Don't talk to me," I'm taken aback by that, and hurt is shown on my face. He quickly looks in the opposite direction of me, ignoring me.
"Haha! She thought the Prince would be her friend!" Says a random student, and the entire class bursts into laughter. I look around at their faces and pointing fingers and look down ashamed as tears form.
I shake my head, and then I'm in 5th grade. It's lunchtime. Everyone is in the cafeteria. I'm sitting at a table by myself, holding a letter. A love letter. I remember now. I had spent weeks writing a letter that best expresses myself to Liam. I was extremely shy to speak back then. I stared at the letter in my hand and looked over to Liam and his friends talking. They were having a good time, probably talking about all kinds of things. It must be nice to have friends. I sat at my table alone in silence. When was the right time to give it to him? The letter in my hand disappeared in an instant. I looked to see none other than Brittany along with her minions behind her.
"What's this?" She asked, holding the letter in her hand. I felt my stomach drop. She had my letter in her hand.
'Oh no,' I thought. I remembered this moment. It was one of the worst times Brittany had embarrassed me in front of the whole school.
"I...That's mine…" I spoke softly. She gave me an annoyed look before ripping it open.
"Wait, no!" I stood up and one girl pushed me back in my seat. I could only watch in horror as she read the letter.
"A love letter? Who's the poor soul huh?" She glared at me. Unable to look her in the eyes, I looked down.
"Did you write this for Liam?!" Her voice echoed causing everyone to go silent and look in our direction. My body began to tremble in fear and I shut my eyes tight. It's all I could do whenever moments like this happened. Just brace yourself and take it. It was quiet for a few moments. While I expected her to explode like normal, she didn't. Instead, she smirked casually and handed the letter to one of the girls behind her.
"Give this to Liam" She ordered, and the girl did exactly as she was told. She walked over to Liam's table and gave it to him. He took a moment before taking the letter. He didn't even hold it for 10 seconds. I don't even think he read half of the first sentence I wrote, before ripping the letter in half.
Annoyed, he said, "I don't want to read some childish letter," Once he said that, Brittany and her girls began to cover their mouths and laugh. Soon everyone was staring at me. Some felt bad for me but not all. Liam went back to not caring and continued the discussion at his table.
Tears stung my eyes as my head remained faced down. How embarrassing. I don't suppose my memories could give me a break. Guess not. In my 8th grade year, I, along with many, witnessed the first kiss shared by Liam and Brittany in the hallways. It was the first time anyone had seen Liam be intimate with a girl. People didn't stop talking about that for months. Gossip spread around about how they were dating. I could only watch. But, that probably wasn't the first time they kissed. Of course, it wasn't. Silly. Naive. Stupid. 13 years old. That was me.
I felt myself reliving the moments from start to finish. No. I wasn't reliving it. I was watching it. I was watching my life before it came to an end with Liam walking away, no turning back.
"I don't want to see this anymore!" I cried out. I didn't realize I had yelled. Maybe I was holding that in the whole time. I finally felt myself breathe when I started panting heavily. My emotions are getting the best of me. I usually know how to keep everything in.
The woman looked at me in concern, "I know the past pains you, Rosalia. Your life has not been easy, but I'm here to help you"
Help? How could this woman, whom I don't know, help? Is there a way to make my life better? I think not. I've given up on myself. No. I gave up long ago.
"This is not all life has to offer you" She spoke with her hand on my shoulder.
"What else can life possibly give me?" I held no more faith in my life getting better. I was never accepted by the boy who was my mate. I was never accepted by anyone because of my mate. My mate chose to be with another girl from the start, and she made my life miserable. I never made any friends. I lied to my parents about having a good relationship with my parents. The only good thing I had was the love of my parents. That has to count for something.
"I understand you may feel all is lost, but listen well you can only move forward to see what will come your way" She gently held my hands. "I ask that no matter what. Never give up Rosalia. You are a warrior."
I gazed into her golden eyes as they shined like the moon itself. This woman holds so many high hopes for me. I felt a tingling sensation as I looked down to see a half-moon symbol appear on my wrist. What's this? She smiles, "This is all the time we have for now. But we shall meet again. Remember Rosalia, you are a warrior"
Those words remained in my mind as they repeated over and over.
-
My eyes shot open as my eyes met with the ceiling. I sat up staring at the wall. I held my head. What a crazy dream. These dreams of mine are getting out of control. What's gonna happen next? Am I gonna be in some alternate universe where Liam accepts me? Yeah, right. I scoff at the idea and rub my eyes. My eyes open wide to see a half-moon symbol on my wrist. I feel my stomach drop. It was real.