Why Am I Feeling This Way?

When it was already the weekend, Toma and I planned to hang around at some place to make him feel better after his break up. Though I hate myself whenever I feel weird about Toma when the littlest things happen: like whenever we slightly touch, or whenever he stares at me, or even whenever he would call my name.

"…hmmm, is there something troubling you Yuji?" I didn't noticed that Toma was near me, so when I saw him beside me, I freaked out.

"What the hell dude! You're too close!" I immediately pushed his face far away from mine.

"I'm just worried, you know! You looked like you were deeply thinking about something."

"It's nothing. None of your business."

"Oh really?" He looked at me with doubtful eyes.

"Really! Geez, just leave me alone." Argh, I just can't stand this weird feeling. I tried hard avoiding his gaze so he couldn't see my face turning red.

"EH!? Didn't you promised to hang out with me today?"

"Yeah, and now I'm beginnning to change my mind."

"That's not fair!" He cried.

"If you weren't so clingy then I wouldn't be hesitating like this."

"Fine, fine. I won't be clingy anymore." He said while pouting. After that, he dragged me out of our room to get on our way to a place where he can unwind.

We went to a park, quite far from the campus. Toma enjoyed walking with me by his side while talking about every stuff that comes into his mind. It may sound like a boring thing to do but I enjoyed listening to every word he says.

I don't know what's the matter with myself, but whenever I'm with Toma, everything feels better. And it feels really nice to have him by my side. Now that I'm thinking these things to myself, I started to tune out Toma's voice and just stare at him as he laugh.

That was enough to make me smile and feel kind of warm inside. His happy face really makes my day right now… "Yuji? Are you listening?"

"Uh? Huh? What?" I snapped out of my thoughts when he suddenly calls my name.

"Man, you weren't listening at all! To think I've been talking all this time when you weren't even listening to me." He pouted again and looked so upset.

…why the fuck is he so adorable?

Wait, what did I just said?

"Uhh… ugh. Yeah." I scratched my head feeling really dazed at the moment.

"What!? Damn it Yuji, it's like you don't care about me at all." He complained. I couldn't say anything proper because I feel like my head is at the clouds.

"…this is really unfair. Maybe we should just get something to eat, since you don't really want to listen to me."

"Geez, you act just like a girlfriend." I told him and had a corner of my lips curved down at him.

"Ah…" he became flustered all of a sudden and avoided my gaze. "…sorry, I think I just overreacted there." He admitted.

His actions made me even feel more complicated.

"Y-Yeah, let's just get some icecream."

"Sure." After that awkward moment, Toma walked on a faster phase  causing me to be walking behind him. I kinda wanted to be beside him but it just feels awkward to be beside him right now. Though it's nice to see him from the back view, I could see how tall and thin he is.

My eyes locked on his swaying arms and noticed how thin his wrists are as well, just like a girl-I shook my head, getting those weird thoughts off of my head.

Fuck. Why am I feeling this way about Toma? This is just… ugh.