More of The Truth, Part 1

"Toma, do you want to break up with me?" This was too sudden, I think I'm not prepared if he does say he wants to but the earlier the better. I'll recover as soon as I get this over with.

His eyes just widens from surprise. He takes my hands and looked at me seriously. "W-What?! I would never! What made you think I want to break up with you?"

"I-It's just that lately I've been the worst to you, right?"

"Yuji…"

"I know I'm making you sad by keeping this relationship a secret… and it's just as hard for me to keep acting like this too. You must hate me for being like this—"

"Quit that non-sense!" He pulled me closer and kissed me. "I don't care about that at all. All that matters to me is that you're mine."

I wiped my tears even though it won't stop flowing out of my eyes. "Are you sure you don't hate me?"

"Why the hell would I ever hate you?! Yuji, I was inlove with you ever since we were young! How could I possibly hate the person I always wanted to have by my side?!"

The sudden revelation caught me off guard. Ever since we were… "you were inlove with me for that long?"

His face turned bright red, he also covered his mouth as if he said something he wasn't supposed to say. "Uhm, err… I… I mean, I…"

"So you're spouting a bunch of lies to make me feel better now." I said.

"No! It's true, believe me!" He admitted, he then avoided my eyes and continued to confess. "…I, I've been inlove with you for a long time."

"And how long was that, exactly?"

"Years… uhm, it started about seven years ago, back when we were in 8th grade." I was shocked to learn that just now. Toma has been inlove with me for a very long time!?

"How come you never told me!?"

All these years wasted…

"I could tell you were homophobic, and knowing what kind of people your parents were. I was scared to lose you!" 

…it was all wasted on trying to deny it all!

"Then what about the girls you dated? What about Cami? What the hell were those—" I sobbed and had all these unexplainable mixed up feelings.

"I tried not being gay during highschool, you know!? I tried to move on, but I still can't move on because you were my friend! It was harder to move on when you were constantly on my side, I was even falling harder because I'm freaking crazy for you!" I thought that I'll be splitting up with him tonight, but it seems that I still have much more to process.

I'm in a loss for words, I don't know how to react. Toma suddenly looked worried for me and quickly caught me when I loss balance from the unexpexted diziness. "Shit, your fever is rising!" He said while holding my forehead.

"O-Okay…" when he brought me to his bed, I grabbed on him tightly. "…don't leave. Just stay by my side."

"But I have to get some warm towel for you."

"No, just… just stay by my side." He settled down by my side and I hugged him as I loss consciousness.