Little Red Riding Hood

In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: 'RWBY CHIBI'!

Vale...

A City of Vale / Junior Detectives police badge with Sun Wukong and Neptune Vasilias' faces on it flies into the screen.

"Junior detectives!" Neptune said.

Sun approaches Jaune Arc, who is strolling on the pavement sipping a drink.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Sun asked.

"Oh, uh hey, man. Uh, you're...talking to me. Never thought I'd see the day. Uhh, good, I'm good. Great, actually. I'm okay! How, uh- How are things with you?" Jaune asked.

Neptune sneaks up behind Jaune and slaps the beverage out of his hand and onto the ground. Sun puts on a fake mustache, flashes his Junior Detective badge and points accusingly at Jaune.

"Huh, hey!" Jaune said, annoyed.

"LITTERING!" Sun said, angrily.

"What? Officer, no! I was framed!"

"Likely story!"

"And right next to a trash can?" Neptune asked, coming out of hiding and wearing a fake mustache. "Do you have no heart?"

"No! I'm a good person, I swear! Look, I have a library card!" Jaune said, reaching into his pocket for a library card.

"Whoa! Look out!" Sun said, worried.

"We're going into lock-down!" Neptune said, tackling Jaune out of frame.

Indistinct fighting noises and whimpering are heard as Neptune and Jaune fight.

"Ow, ow!" Jaune said.

"Gah! Oh, my goggles!" Neptune said, while his fake mustache is knocked off his face and floats down onto the ground next to Sun.

"Oh, now you've done it!" Sun said, jumping in and joining the melee.

"Why don't I learn?!" Jaune exclaimed.

Beacon Academy...

Team JNPR, the SAO survivors, and Jared sit down in front of a makeshift stage with a wooded backdrop.

"What are we watching?" Asuna asked.

"I think it's by Team RWBY." Leafa said.

"And now, Team RWBY presents: an original stage play, entitled Little Red Riding Hood. Once upon a time, there was an adorable girl who went by the name of Little Red Riding Hood." Ozpin said, speaking off camera.

"What is good in the hood!?" Ruby exclaimed, jumping onto the stage.

"What is good in the hood? Really?" Lisbeth asked.

"Do people actually talk like that?" Silica asked.

"Back home? Not in years..." Jared said, sadly.

"Loved by many and known for her colorful hood, Little Red was on a very important mission: To deliver baked goods to her dear, sweet grandmother." Ozpin said.

"Yeah, we tried to put her in a home but she wasn't havin' it, so... gotta go feed her." Ruby said.

"You said that this was...what? Little Red Riding Hood?" Asuna asked.

"Yeah..." Jared said, frowning.

"Hey Red, make sure to bring grandma some produce this time!" Yang said, jumping onto the stage, wearing glasses. "These old legs can't run on chocolate chips alone!"

Yang is running on the spot.

"That joke could be better." Kirito said, sadly.

"Yang! This isn't your scene!" Ruby said, angrily.

"According to the database here. There isn't a Little Red Riding Hood." Yui said, closing her eyes to check.

"That's because the fairy tales back home are real people." Simon said.

"Yup." Jared said, smiling.

"And these aren't even real glasses!" Yang said, donning a fake nose and mustache with her glasses. "Heyo!"

Yang prances backwards off the stage.

Team JNPR, the SAO survivors, and Jared laugh quietly in the audience.

"Eh, amateurs." Ruby said, grumbling.

"This play isn't bad." Asuna said.

"I like it." Silica said, happily.

"I love it!" Jared said, excitedly.

"But as she frolicked through the woods to her grandmother's cottage, she came across a creature who had more sinister intentions..." Ozpin said.

Ruby gasped. Enter Blake Belladonna from above, suspended by a rope.

"A Big Bad Wolf!" Ozpin said.

"At least it isn't Rose Tyler." Jared said, smirking.

Asuna, Leafa, Silica, Sinon, Yui, and Lisbeth glared at Jared.

"Okay, why am I the wolf? And why am I flying? We're not playing ALfheim Online!" Blake said, annoyed.

"Duh, because you're half-animal! This part was made for you!" Ruby said, angrily.

"What about Zwei?"

"Zwei? He's the stagehand! Plus, the wolf's a bad guy, and you can't be mad at that face!"

"Wow..." Silica said, looking at Zwei, who is holding onto the rope that is suspending Blake in the air.

Zwei lets go of the rope and smiles for Silica and Lisbeth.

"He likes us." Lisbeth said.

"I can be mad at that face..." Blake said, falling face-first onto the floor.

Blake gets up and brushes herself off.

"I can't be mad at Zwei either. I love him." Jared said, placing one of his hands on top of Silica's and his other hand on top of Lisbeth's.

"The Big Bad Wolf wanted to gobble up Little Red and her treats, but she had made one terrible mistake! Little Red Riding Hood was a trained warrior with a deadly mechanical scythe!" Ozpin said.

"It's also a gun!" Ruby said, brandishing Crescent Rose.

"Is that a prop, or...?" Blake asked, fearfully.

"Step off, Wolfy!" Ruby said, cocking her weapon.

"And so, the Big Bad Wolf decided to retreat." Ozpin said.

"Uhh...right..." Blake said, laughing nervously.

"This place is nice." Jared said, looking at the SAO survivors. "I've gotten tired of being on Earth."

"Will you still visit us in ALfheim Online?" Asuna asked.

Blake gingerly leaves the stage.

"Positive. I will." Jared said, happily.

"But the wolf wasn't going to give up that easily. She had a plan..." Ozpin said.

"SCENE CHANGE!" Ruby said, excitedly.

Zwei runs onto the stage and changes the backdrop by kicking the woods off the stage, revealing a new backdrop of the interior Little Red's grandmother's cottage.

"These sets aren't bad." Kirito said.

Enter Blake, carried by Zwei.

"I wonder what will happen with Ruby. This play is different from the fairy tale." Yui said, sitting on Kirito's shoulder.

"She took a shortcut to Little Red's grandmother's house, where she found the old woman sleeping soundly in her bed." Ozpin said.

The bed is conspicuously empty.

"Umm..." Blake said.

"Yang!" Ruby said, off screen.

"Did somebody say grandma?!" Yang exclaimed, sliding onto the stage.

"You're lookin' good for your age." Blake said.

"I work out!"

"Uh, aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"Who's got time for sleep when I've prepared this great song and dance number?!" Yang exclaimed, prancing around the stage. "And-a-one, and-a-two..."

"Stop upstaging everyone and get in the bed!" Ruby said, angrily.

"This is my one scene, get off my back!"

"Just get in bed, grandma." Blake said.

"Easy there, Wolfy! You haven't even bought me dinner yet! Heyo!" Yang said.

"Thanks for treating us to this play." Leafa said.

"Yeah. Why didn't you invite us sooner?" Asuna asked.

"I was busy." Jared said, squeezing Lisbeth's hand.

Team JNPR, the SAO survivors, and Jared laugh in the audience.

"Busy. Huh." Lisbeth said, looking at Jared.

Ruby is annoyed, grumbling.

"I was! I was! Doing comedy skits." Jared said, looking at Lisbeth.

"Okay, I'm just going to move this along and eat her." Blake said, walking calmly up to Yang and pretends to bite her hand.

"And just like that, the Big Bad Wolf gobbled the grandmother up!" Ozpin said.

"There. Now you're dead." Blake said, with Yang's hand still in her teeth.

"Oh, woe is me! I was too young to die! Despite what many thought, seeing as I was a grandmother..." Yang said, dramatically.

Blake kicks Yang off-stage, takes her glasses and gets into the bed. Kirito and Asuna have their hands on top of each other. Yui is sitting on Kirito's shoulder.

"The wolf disguised herself as Little Red's grandmother, then laid in bed, waiting to ambush the unsuspecting child..." Ozpin said.

"Hi grandma! Thanks for the birthday cards! Dad told me to bring you food!" Ruby said, happily.

"Now, the wolf needed only to draw Little Red closer." Ozpin said.

"Hey, come closer." Blake said.

"But as the young girl drew near, she noticed something was wrong..." Ozpin said.

"Gee grandma, what big eyes you have!" Ruby said, happily.

"Wow, what an insensitive thing to say to your loved ones." Blake said.

"And what big ears you have!" Ruby said.

"You know I'm really self-conscious about them. Thanks for bringing it up."

"And grandma, what big teeth you have!"

"Okay, you're just a rude little brat. I'm gonna kill you." Blake said, pouncing at Ruby.

"Whoa! Smells like someone's got some Big Bad Breath!" Yang said.

"Bad breath! At least she wasn't a Slitheen!" Jared said, laughing a lot.

Blake pauses mid-pounce, suspended in the air momentarily, before falling down.

"Yang, this is a sad scene! The audience can't be sad if they're laughing!" Ruby said, looking at Yang.

"Umm...then the...woodsman entered?" Ozpin asked.

"Weiss?!" Sinon and Silica exclaimed, at the same time.

Enter Weiss.

"What?" Leafa and Lisbeth asked, at the same time.

"What's going on?" Yui asked, looking at Asuna.

"I don't know." Asuna said.

"Neither do I." Kirito said.

"But Weiss as the woodsman is hilarious!" Jared said, squeezing Silica's hand.

"Why do I have to be the woodsman, again?" Weiss asked, pulling out Blowhard. "And why does this weapon have two axe blades? You can't even aim!"

"Ho-ho! Personal preference!" Port said, off screen.

"Because we're best friends! And best friends have each other's backs!" Ruby said.

"But wait, I thought Red Riding Hood had a scythe. Why does she need a woodsman?" Blake asked.

"You guys are ruining my vision!"

"Who wrote this stupid story anyway?" Weiss asked.

"I did, thank you very much!" Ruby said.

"No wonder. Red Riding Hood's a total Mary Sue character." Yang said, scoffing.

"WHAT!?" Ruby exclaimed, thunderstruck.

"'Loved by many and known for her hood?' You totally based her off yourself!"

"Wait, are we in fan fiction?" Blake asked.

"Made up stories? Who's been writing this one?" Weiss asked.

"Um..." Jared said, guiltily.

"It was you! Placing our alternative selves where bad things happen. In the world of Doctor Who." Yang said, looking at Jared.

"Don't forget placing anime and other things you like in the world of Doctor Who too. For example, Sword Art Online and Symphogear." Blake said.

Asuna, Yui, Lisbeth, Silica, Sinon, and Leafa gave glares at Jared.

"How about Kid Icarus Uprising and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the world of Doctor Who?" Weiss asked.

"Um...I..." Jared said, looking down at the ground.

"Jared and I like to think that art is open to interpretation!" Ruby said, pulling on her hair in frustration for herself and Jared.

"Wait a minute...aren't you kids all supposed to be in class and one of you in Team RWBY's dorm?" Ozpin asked. "And aren't you kids supposed to be in ALfheim Online?"

Beat.

"Cheese it!" Ruby said, worried.

Exit all except Zwei, who takes center stage and bows.