Chapter Seven: Memory is Your Worst Enemy

"Oh, Natsu! You're so funny!"

The girl sitting in front of Natsu was giggling and snorting at his joke. A bright, fake smile was plastered on Natsu's face as he watched her, his arm wrapped around another girl, her best friend. They were regulars in the club, and they were obsessed with Natsu.

"You radiate charm and you have such an amazing sense of humor," the other girl giggled, "no wonder you're the clubs most popular host."

"I do try" Natsu winked, causing both girls to swoon.

"Natsu!" voice suddenly called, causing the youth to turn his attention towards his co-worker, Yusuke. Yusuke was the second most popular host in the club, and Natsu's closest colleague, not resenting him for being the most popular. Unlike his other co-workers. Even Natsu's boss was jealous.

"What's up?" Natsu smiled as Yusuke approached the table, grinning from ear to ear.

"Someone is here to see you."

"Send them in?" Natsu said like he was asking a question, raising a brow.

"He said he feels too awkward to come inside" Yusuke shrugged, "I was out having a smoke and he approached me."

Natsu's heart skipped a beat.

"Hideaki…" he whispered. Yusuke quirked a brow.

"Yeah. That's him."

Natsu stood up, almost hitting the girl in the face.

"Sorry. Excuse me for a moment, ladies. Perhaps you can talk with Yusuke while I'm gone."

Natsu watched Yusuke sit down in his spot and start to chat with the ladies before he exited the club. He looked to the left, but no one was there, so he snapped his head to the right and sure enough, there in the shadows stood Hideaki.

"Hi," Natsu said awkwardly.

"Hi," came Hideaki's shy reply.

"What brought you here?" Natsu questioned, leaning against the wall beside Hideaki.

"I came to see you," Hideaki replied, shuffling his feet, "you just up and left the other day. I was worried about you, you know?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay" Hideaki shrugged, "maybe I upset you in some way, even though I'm not sure how. Can you explain it to me? Please? Just so I know in future."

Natsu felt his heart swell with happiness, hearing the word "future" from him. It felt like he wanted to be in his life.

"No, it's just – life hasn't been easy for me. How about we talk about this after my shift ends if you can stick around. I'm finished in two hours."

"Okay. I can go get some dinner and meet you back here."

"Thank you, sounds good" Natsu nodded, earning a grin from Hideaki. He seemed happy that Natsu was willing to talk about it.

"I'll see you soon, then. Bye" Hideaki said, waving and walking away from him. Natsu waved him off and then entered the club once again, smiling from ear to ear.

"Someone looks happy," Yusuke chuckled as he returned to his table. Natsu rolled his eyes.

"What was that about?" one of the women asked, and Natsu shook his head.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Yusuke questioned, causing the girls to gasp.

"You're gay?!" they exclaimed in unison. Natsu shook his head fast, holding up his hands.

"Not at all. He's a childhood friend, he just needed to ask me something."

The women sighed with relief. Natsu watched Yusuke stand up and offer him his seat back.

"Can we talk after your shift ends?" Yusuke questioned, "about him?"

"There's nothing to talk about" Natsu told him, "he was friends with my brother in high school. That's all."

"Oh?" he pulled Natsu away from the table slightly by his blazer sleeve just as he went to sit down, "how did you two reunite?"

Natsu wasn't sure why Yusuke cared so much.

"We met by my brother's…grave."

They were entering into depressing territory, and Natsu was getting upset, but Yusuke pressed him on.

"Sure, you did. Just be careful, Natsu. He's a cute kid but, let's be real. You don't need any reminders or triggers from your past. If he really was your brothers' friend like you claim, he's bad for you. You suffer enough as it is with your brother's death. He's just going to remind you of times when your brother was alive."

Natsu froze up, realizing that maybe Yusuke was right about that. Perhaps the reason he felt so attached from the moment he knew who Hideaki was and couldn't stop thinking about him was because of this. Because he reminded him of simpler times. He was a trigger. A negative reminder. If he had a therapist, they would tell him to stay far away from Hideaki. To run for the hills. However, he had to at least explain to him why he didn't want him in his life. Or need him in his life.

"You're thinking I'm right, I hope" Yusuke said sternly.

Natsu nodded, "yeah. You are right."

"You need to listen to me more, Natsu. I'm only looking out for you, as your friend."

"I know. It makes perfect sense. Thank you for making me come to my senses, I will end our friendship tonight."

"Thank you. It's for your own sake, Natsu. Take care."

Natsu watched him walk away, standing still in the one spot for a few seconds before turning to look at the ladies once more. They were eyeing him suspiciously, almost like they had heard the conversation, but they couldn't have. Perhaps they were still thinking he was gay, not that it was any of their business.

"Okay, ladies. I'm all yours again" he said enthusiastically, although all he could think about was Hideaki. His cute, little face. His gorgeous eyes. He was going to shatter his heart, wasn't he? He felt so bad.

Nevertheless, he completed his shift and spent the entire two hours convincing the girls that Hideaki was nothing more than a friend, which was true.

"You're sure?" they had asked over and over.

"Very sure," he had laughed, even though it soon grew tiring and annoying. As he left the club, he spotted Hideaki approaching him quickly. His enthusiasm when it came to Natsu broke his heart. He had sought him out, even after he left him alone at the café. Natsu yawned as Hideaki reached him. He glanced at his watch, and it was eleven o'clock. That was the earliest he had left the club in months.

"Are you tired? Should we do this some other day?" Hideaki questioned. Natsu just shook his head. After all, he needed to get this over with.

"Nah. How about we go back to my place? I can sleep when you leave."

"Sure" Hideaki said, "I'm curious about where you live, after all."

Natsu nodded, beginning to walk in the direction of his apartment, which wasn't far from the club. Hideaki followed close behind, and neither of them spoke a word for the entire walk. All Natsu could think of was how he was going to reject him. How he could tell him to go away nicely.

They reached Natsu's apartment soon, and he allowed Hideaki to enter first. Hideaki kicked his shoes off and placed them neatly on his shoe rack. Natsu did this, too. Although his shoes were neat, his entire apartment was a mess. Natsu wasn't a very neat person, so his clothes were sprung all over the living room and he had so many dirty dishes in the sink it was unbelievable. Instead of being disgusted, Hideaki giggled.

"What?" Natsu chuckled, approaching his kitchen to pour them both a glass of milk.

"You need a wife," Hideaki laughed. Natsu laughed too.

"Maybe so."

He poured the milk into two glasses, then put it back in the fridge and handed a glass to Hideaki, who chugged his.

"Wow, you were thirsty" Natsu chuckled, taking a few sips of his.

"I haven't had a drink since dinner," Hideaki shrugged, "I'm a thirsty guy."

"Would you like some more? Maybe some water?"

"Water, please" Hideaki said, looking around his living room. Natsu got him a glass of water and then sat with him on the couch.

"So, let's talk" Natsu said, crossing his legs.

"I just need to know if I said or did anything wrong."

"Not per say," Natsu sighed.

"I said something about happiness and then you just left. What was that about?" Hideaki questioned, tilting his head.

"As you know, life hasn't been very kind to me" Natsu began, "so I don't understand what happiness means."

"That's – really awful" Hideaki whimpered, "I'm really sorry, Natsu."

"No. It's not your fault. Losing Akinari was the end of my life."

"It doesn't have to be" Hideaki said, "your life is just beginning."

"I don't deserve to be alive…" Natsu said sadly, "I want to be with him. In heaven, or wherever he is. Whatever reality he exists in. I just want to join him."

"Are you suicidal?" Hideaki gasped.

"I'm too afraid to kill myself. I've tried. I've failed."

"That just means you don't want to die," Hideaki said, reaching his hand out and placing it on top of Natsu's. Natsu slapped his hand away, and Hideaki flinched. He stood up, pacing the living room for a few seconds before he spoke.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

"Can't what?" Hideaki blinked, tears in his eyes.

"I can't be your friend."

Hideaki nodded for a second, as if just accepting that, but then he frowned.

"Wait – why not?"

"Because you're a trigger."

"A trigger? Are you saying I remind you of Akinari?"

"No. I'm saying you remind me of a time where my life was easy and happy and fun. When Akinari was alive. My brother was my heart and soul. I'm lost without him, and I can never be healed."

Hideaki was silent for a few seconds, as if taking everything he had just said in, and attempting to truly understand it. In a way, Natsu appreciated that. He wasn't just exploding and going off on him. He was taking the time to understand Natsu's situation and understand his feelings.

"I understand that you feel that way, Natsu."

"Oh? You do?" Natsu blinked.

"I do," Hideaki said, standing up off the couch and walking towards the apartment door, "thank you for being so nice to me. It was nice to have another friend."

"Hidea-wait- "

"You said we can't be friends" Hideaki sighed, "what exactly is it that you want? I'm understanding your feelings and leaving your space in a civil manner."

"I prayed to Akinari to send me somebody. Somebody to love me."

"You're weird and confusing" Hideaki said, pinching his nose, "one minute you're telling me we can't be friends, and the next you're asking me to fall in love with you."

"I'm sorry-"

"Besides, I've been in love with you for years. There's no need to ask that of me."

"Wait- you have?" Natsu asked, shocked.

"The guy I said was in love with you? Yep, that was me."

Confidence was oozing from Hideaki in that moment. It seemed being angered made him tell people how he truly felt, and he was telling Natsu he was in love with him. Natsu thought about what Yusuke said, but he pushed it out of his mind and approached Hideaki slowly. Hideaki watched his ever move, then bent down to pick up his shoes.

"I'll be going, then."

"No, you're not" Natsu said lowly.

"Hm?"

"I said you're not. You're not leaving."

"I'll leave if I want to" Hideaki sulked. Natsu twirled him around and held him in his arms, brushing his lips off his in one swift movement. Hideaki was stunned to the spot.

"Yeah, but you don't want to. Do you?"

"I-I-"

"Do you?" Natsu purred.

Hideaki shook his head, "n-no."

"Do you want to spend the night with me, sweetie?" Natsu whispered in his ear, causing Hideaki to shiver hard.

"Yes. All night."

Natsu smirked against the younger males' lips. He was so sweet it hurt. He started to wonder if Hideaki was a virgin, but since he mentioned ex-boyfriends, he doubted that. Better for him, he would have an experienced bottom.

"Care to join me in my bedroom?" he whispered again, once again earning a shiver from Hideaki.

"Oh God, yes."

Natsu chuckled, leading Hideaki into his bedroom by the hand. Hideaki allowed him to pull him along.

As they entered Natsu's bedroom, Natsu took both of Hideaki's hands and pulled him close, pressing his lips to his in their first kiss. It was a passionate kiss, with Natsu being in the lead, and Hideaki just allowing him to completely take over already. Natsu released his hands, pulling him in by the waist and pressing their crotches together, hands sliding down to grip onto his ass.

Hideaki hummed with arousal; eyes lightly closed as they kissed. Natsu pulled away for a quick breath, then kissed him again, this time with more force as his hands found Hideaki's, placing them on his belt. Hideaki's shaking hands fumbled to unbuckle Natsu's belt, but within seconds he had managed to do it. Natsu broke the kiss again to slide his belt out of his pants and throw it across the room. Hideaki gently pushed him down onto the bed, and Natsu chuckled as he got down on his knees in front of him, doe-like eyes gleaming at him.

He gently massaged Natsu's thighs through his pants. Natsu bit down hard on his bottom lip, leaning back on his hands. Hideaki slowly zipped down Natsu's pants, eyeing him seductively. That boy had practice; he had definitely given a blowjob before. Natsu couldn't wait to feel his mouth – and shifted uncomfortably as he felt his growing bulge push against his pants. Hideaki emitted a small giggle, noticing this.

"Please, hurry" Natsu pleaded huskily, shifting again.

"Okay, baby" Hideaki smiled, slowly pulling Natsu's twitching cock from his boxer shorts. Natsu moaned quietly as he took it in his left hand, observing it with bright eyes.

"This is going to feel so good inside of me" he said to Natsu, who growled.

"You bet."

"But for now," Hideaki whispered, bowing his head and giving the tip of Natsu's dick a gentle lick. Natsu's breath hitched in his throat.

"Fuck-" he managed to moan out, feeling Hideaki's mouth wrap around the tip. Hideaki sucked on it, tongue soaking up all the precum, earning soft, fast moans from Natsu.

After a while, Hideaki started to take the rest of his dick in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down, and flicking his tongue against the tip. Natsu, at this point, was a moaning mess. He took a hold of Hideaki's head, gently pushing his head down so that his cock went down his throat. Hideaki moaned, and Natsu held his head there until Hideaki started to choke, then allowed him to come up for air.

"Fuck-" Hideaki giggled, wiping some saliva from the corners of his mouth. Natsu stared at him with hungry eyes. He didn't want to cum yet, he wanted to save that for later.

"It's my turn to play with you" he said, feeling hot and sweaty already. Hideaki stood up, and Natsu pulled him into him, still sitting on the bed. He held him by the waist while Hideaki pulled off his own shirt, then Natsu proceeded to kiss the flesh around his stomach and ribs. Hideaki smiled, throwing his head back as Natsu's hands reached up to pinch his rosy, pink nipples while continuing to kiss his stomach.

"N-Natsu-" he moaned out, motioning towards his growing bulge. From the looks of things, he was big too, "I can't take it."

"Let's sort that out then, baby" Natsu said, unbuttoning Hideaki's pants and pulling them down around his ankles. Hideaki stepped out of them and allowed Natsu to pull down his briefs. Natsu observed his throbbing, big dick and couldn't help but wonder what he could do with that if he tried. Nevertheless, Natsu was happy to fuck him.

Hideaki looked shy, so Natsu smiled at him reassuringly. He returned the smile.

"Does that feel better?" Natsu asked him. Hideaki nodded.

"But I'm ready to do it now."

"As you wish" Natsu purred, although he was feeling so nervous. He hadn't been with a guy before.

Nevertheless, he stood up and gently placed Hideaki down on the bed. He lay over him, and Hideaki wrapped his arms around Natsu's neck. Natsu reached into his drawer for the lube. He always had some, since he liked it when it was used when girls gave him hand jobs. He never thought he'd use it on a guy, though, because he was certain he wouldn't have the confidence to invite one into his bedroom. Yet, there they were.

He kissed Hideaki softly, feeling his cock twitch against his.

"You're so cute, Hideaki," he whispered against his lips, popping open the bottle of half-used lubricant.

"You're so gorgeous, Natsu" Hideaki whispered back. He then squirmed, aroused and needing Natsu's touch.

Natsu placed some lube on two of his fingers and knowing at this point that Hideaki had had sex before, he slipped both of them into him. Hideaki squirmed some more, a soft moan escaping his lips as Natsu then placed a third, slim finger into his ass.

"Is that okay?" he asked Hideaki, who squirmed yet again and nodded.

Natsu was getting even more hot, wanting so badly to impress Hideaki, but not being sure how. It was a little bit different than having sex with a girl, after all.

He pumped his fingers in and out, hitting the spot for Hideaki within minutes. Hideaki's cheeks were roaring red, and he covered his eyes with his arm. Natsu pried his hands away from his eyes, saying "look at me," with a demanding tone.

"N-no. I'm shy" Hideaki gasped, but Natsu took a hold of his face gently with his free hand.

"Look at me, I want to see your eyes" he said, kissing his jawline softly. Hideaki removed his arm, allowing it to flop down beside him and looked Natsu in the eyes.

"So pretty" Natsu moaned, removing his fingers, "I want you so bad."

"I've wanted you for so long" Hideaki groaned, "I want you to have me."

Natsu leaned down, beads of his sweat dripping onto Hideaki's forehead as they made out, tongues playing together.

All the while, Natsu started to gently massage the lube onto his cock, moaning softly into Hideaki's mouth. Hideaki slapped his hand away gently, taking a hold of Natsu's cock and doing it for him.

Natsu pulled back, stroking Hideaki's face while whispering, "are you ready?"

"Mhm. Are you?" Hideaki asked, making sure he was still okay with it. After all, he understood it was his first time with a guy, it seemed.

"Yeah."

"Then put it inside me."

"Okay, baby."

Natsu slowly positioned himself at Hideaki's entrance, then pushed his cock inside of him. Hideaki let out a loud moan alongside Natsu, who shifted around to find a comfortable position for himself.

"Holy – it's so big" Hideaki moaned, his face sweaty and his jawline clenched from the pleasure.

"Does it hurt?" Natsu questioned apologetically.

"No, not really" Hideaki reassured him, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss him. Natsu kissed him back lovingly, all the while starting to move slowly inside of him. Hideaki's grip around Natsu tightened, while one hand slid down his stomach until he reached his own dick. He started to stroke it himself, turning Natsu on even more and making him fuck him harder.

"Ah!" Hideaki gasped, breaking the kiss and arching his back for a split second.

"Fucking hell keep playing with yourself" Natsu whispered in his ear, nibbling on his earlobe. Hideaki started to jerk himself off harder, matching Natsu's speed. Natsu could tell the younger male was getting close to finishing, and so was he. He didn't want it to end, Hideaki felt amazing.

"N-Natsu!" Hideaki exclaimed, "kiss me, please."

Natsu leaned down a little more, and Hideaki hungrily grabbed him with one hand and kissed him, so hard Natsu wouldn't have been surprised if their lips bruised.

Hideaki's hand pumped his dick faster, and within seconds, he had reached his climax. He let out soft whimpers against Natsu's lips as he came all over his stomach, shaking from the ecstasy. Natsu pulled back to observe his big load, biting his bottom lip.

"Cum for me, Natsu" Hideaki whispered, laying limp on the bed and allowing Natsu to do whatever he wanted, "pretty please."

"I'm-I'm so close," Natsu moaned, feeling his stomach start to knot from the pleasure, then unclench, then knot again. As he looked down at the exhausted and adorable-looking Hideaki, Natsu felt the euphoric orgasm wash over him as he came hard inside of him. His face scrunched up, his jaw clenched and his stomach flipped. It felt so, damn good. He released a sharp breath through his nose, and his mouth opened to moan but nothing came out. All he could do was focus on Hideaki's beautiful face, and the feeling of releasing inside of him.

Hideaki giggled as soon as the feeling washed away, snapping Natsu back to reality.

"That was amazing" Natsu chuckled.

"Tell me about it" Hideaki sighed contently. Natsu slowly pulled out of him, watching as some cum spilled out onto his bedsheets. He sighed.

"Guess I'll have to wash those."

"Are you complaining?" Hideaki pouted, earning a smile from Natsu.

"Heh - never."

Hideaki grinned, sitting up and kissing Natsu for a while. They were both sweaty, and their breathing was still heavy, but their emotions were still running high.

"We should shower and then get some sleep" Natsu told him. Hideaki sighed.

"Actually, I should go home. My parents will be wondering where I am."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Natsu" he said sadly, "but um...we should organise a date."

"Of course."

Hideaki reached for Natsu's phone, then put his number in it for him.

"Promise you'll call?"

"I promise" he smiled, kissing Hideaki's nose. Hideaki giggled, then stood up off the bed and started to get dressed.

Natsu helped him get ready, and then seen him out. As he watched Hideaki walk down the hall, turning to smile at him before disappearing around the corner – Natsu had every intention of calling him. He had every intention of being with him, but things do change.