CHAPTER 4 (Flashback 1)

Flashback

Lunch time and im here in the garden, reading some book alone while the other is having their lunch in the cafeteria.

My mind is so focus on the book when suddenly someone interrupts me from my peace and saw Jungkook running towards me and yelling my name

"Taeehyuuung!"

I laughed as i saw how cute he is.

"Yah, slow down. You might injured yourself" i said laughing and put down the book i am holding and sit properly

Jungkook first catch his breath when he's in front of me.

"Injured myself? Im not a kid you know" he said after he brings back his normal breathing "why are you here by the way? You're not with the others"

"No, Jin-hyung and the other is having their lunch in Cafeteria. I don't feel like eating so i just went here" i explain as i gesture him to sit beside me.

"I heard that Jin hyung scolded you for skipping your meal" Jungkook said when he got sit beside me

"Haha yeah, but i still insist. How'd you know?"

"Jiming hyung. Well, I'll do same though"

"Same what?" I asked and turn to his direction

"Scolding you for skipping the meal"

I turn away immediately as i feel my heartbeat skip and try to hide my blushing face.

Why do he have to say that when im not prepared.

"But because Jin hyung already did, i'll just give you this instead" he continue and hand me a strawberry juice

(Author's Note: any kind of strawberry flavor is taehyung's favorite and also his comfort food, so if anything bad happen, he eat or drink any strawberry flavor food. Well he also eat them even if there is nothing happened but he just feel ease the most in bad times when he eat or drink strawberry flavor)

Dang! I already feel my face is so hot right now even without touching it.

So i just take the juice without looking at him and try to hide my face and said "t-thank you"

After few minutes

"Hey, don't put your trash there" Jungkook scold me when i put the bottle of juice beside me.

"Im just putting it here and throw them later" I excuse myself

"Aish, just throw them now"

"No , later" -Me

"Now" - Jungkook

"Later"

"Now"

"Later i said"

"Now i said"

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook, are we really doing this?"

"Yes, until you throw that away" Jungkook said and pointed the bottle beside me.

I sighed and cross my arm "Well, then why don't you throw it yourself"

Jungkook just stared at me and i do the same but what the eff!

Yes i love staring his eyes when he is not aware but not like this! He is looking back at me and i already feel again my face is starting to blush.

How i wish he'll give up because i know any moment i will have an urge to pull his nape towards me especially im so close that i can even see the mole under his lips and after few more minutes fortunately Jungkook sigh and cross his arm and harshly take the bottle in my side and throw them in the trash can

I cleared my throat and fix myself.

"You're so lazy tae" he complained when he get back

"I know" i said showing my box smile.

"Oh, btw, why are you here? I know that it's not just about the juice" i ask

I saw him stop for a moment and scratch the back of his head , bite his lip and avoiding my eyes.

I cross my arm and scan him , trying to know what's the reason behind his act.

Few minutes past and none of us didn't move an inch and still doing the same.

I stare at him more when

"Yah! Jeon Jungkook!" I screamed

Jeon Jungkook only doing this thing when he want to say something but he is embarrassed or when he did something wrong that he knows i will get mad.

Jungkook flinched with my sudden scream and look at me so shocked

"W-what" Jungkook asked

See! Jungkook is stuttering and i know and i feel that he did something wrong.

"Don't tell me you-"

"No Tae, okay i didn't do anything" Jungkook cut me from my word

"Jeon Jungkook, i've known you for as long as i can remember and base on your acts, scratching the back of your head, biting your lips, avoiding my eyes and flinched when i called, now tell me young man, what's the reason behind of your acts huh?" I asked and poke his forehead.

"Y-yaah, hahaha, you're funny Tae, i didn't know that you are so observant" Jungkook look so amazed from what he hears.

I stopped for a moment and realized what i just said.

Wait did i sound like im so interested about him?

Did he notice?

Did he had a hint?

Oh noo.

What will i do ?

What should i do if he really did notice?

Should i confess already?

Or should i change the topic and deny if he will ask?

And few more seconds no one said a word until he speak that shock me

"W-what?" I ask with my wide eyes looking at him

I feel my heart starts to beat fast again and i don't know why but i feel suffocated suddenly.

"You know i already know" Jungkook said again looking nowhere

Sh*t D-did he really knew?

"Ahm. What i-is it?" I asked so nervously and trying myself to calm down.

My hands is sweating so much now because of nervous .

"Ldocnroe" Jungkook whispered that i didn't hear cleary.

"W-what?" I asked again feeling so nervous

"Yah! Listen carefully Kim Taehyung!" Jungkook scream that made me flinch and forgot the feelings i have while ago and put me back to my normal self

"Stop shouting Jungkook!"

"I was trying to tell you this important thing and you keep me repeating what i said"

"That's because your voice is not clear pabo , and it is not my fault if i can't hear you. Now what is it that you want to say" i cross my arm and look at him straight in the eye and this time i didn't let myself be swept away again from his eyes and tried my best to keep my feelings and heart beat stay normal.

Kim Taehyung , let's be a man and if he really knew about my true feelings for him so be it!

I'm going to tell him the truth.

So i tried my best to look at him in the eyes and Jungkook did the same.

But from the moment he start to talk i felt my heart shattered into a million pieces. And it feels like that there is something that squeezing my chest so tight that i can't breath , like there's a thousand needles that's poking in my chest and i feel that my eyes starting to get wet.

How i wish that i didn't bother to ask him.

Can i just turn back the time? The time where i don't have to hear the word that will tear me up so much.

"You remember the girl i was talking , the girl that i said she's the one. Her name is Yun-hee and she already say Yes to me Tae. Would you believe that? " Jungkook said to me looking like he's the most happiest guy in the world.

Jungkook keep telling me how he and that girl end up together and how happy he is. And i don't know how to react from those words.

My mind is blank and the only thing that i feel is the pain in my chest. I didn't know that Jungkook's word would pain me this much , to the point that both my mind and body feel so numb until

"A-are you okay Tae?" Jungkook stop from his story and got so worried

I didn't understand what he is saying so i just stared at him without saying any words

Are you for real Jungkook? Are you really the one who's telling me that?Did you just said that? Huh?

Please tell me you're not. Please tell me that this is all a joke. Please.

Why do you have tell me something like this. Why don't just the other way around? Just take it all what you said to me back, and just do the things that will make me upset.

I just stared at him, hoping for him to say the words i want to hear but he didn't say anything.

Damn! Jungkook im waiting please. Pleaasee. Im begging you. Don't do this to me. Just this once. Do me a favor.

"Why are you crying?" Jungkook

And that gives me back to reality and felt the tears falling down on my eyes with my hands

F*ck!

I wipe my tears quickly and tried my best to laugh although i know that it was fake.

"A-haha. I-im sorry. I just ... Uhmm. Ahh. -" Sh*t Tae c'mon! Say something! "I ... Y-yes umm. Ah im okay h-haha" i said trying avoid his eyes and keep wiping my tears away.

Jungkook didn't believe me and try to ask me what's really the matter. I tried to look at him for a second and i regret it

He is staring at me with those doe eyes like begging for something and i can't help myself to give in to what he wants.

Why now?!Don't make me say the words that will only deepen the wound i feel insode. Stop staring at me like that. Please

Jungkook keep staring at me and because im too weak for him i did my best to say the words that i know he'll believe.

"I-im just happy that you are already w-with that girl you l-love so much"

I feel like there is something that stuck in my throat while saying those.

I saw Jungkook's face lighten a bit and smiled at me

"Really?"

"Y-yeah" i smiled trying not to look it fake

Little did Jungkook know that those words coming from me hurts me so much.

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