Chapter 7: Losing Trust

I woke up really early next morning and went for a run. I need to get my stamina up if I want to be a good ninja. I ran till my legs gave out under me. It was only 6 in the morning and I was already exhausted. I picked myself off the floor and wobbled all the way back home. After a long hot shower and a change of clothes, my body didn't feel like absolute death anymore. I dealt with the bird's nest on my head which I called my hair and headed to work. Kakashi wasn't awake yet so I just left quietly. My shift doesn't start till 9 but I may as well go now since I don't have anything to do. I walked into the flower shop and greeted Mrs. Yamanaka who was still opening the place. She looked at me surprised, "You talk Japanese?" I just laughed and shook my head, "only little." She smiled at me and welcomed me inside. I asked her if I could take her shift as well today which she agreed to happily. After a couple of minutes, Ino walked down the stairs carrying her bag. "You're here early." I don't want to talk if I don't have to. Do you know how embarrassing it is to say something wrong in another language! I just smiled as a response. She gave me a weird look but shrugged and walked out of the shop.

The shifts were the usual. Nothing new happened. I was observing the people talking and before I knew it, Mrs. Yamanaka was here to take over again and give me my pay for the day. I walked out to see Kakashi standing in front of the shop, waiting for me. "Sorry to keep you waiting." I said as I walked over to him. He just smiled back and we started walking to the training grounds. The streets were pretty crowded but the training grounds weren't that far so I was fine. "What are we doing today?" I was getting excited. I was looking forward to training today. "first, you'll run some laps. After that, we'll do ninjutsu, aim practice and taijustu." I nodded and started walking away to do my laps. I stretched a bit and started running around the training grounds. I did 8 laps before I collapsed. That's better than this morning. I only did 6 this morning. This is great! I'm improving! I got back up with a smile on my face and stumbled over to Kakashi. I sat down next to him, breathing heavily. "How many did you do?" I just put 8 fingers up tiredly. my hands were shaking from exhaustion and my vision started getting blotchy. I sighed deeply. I guess I still have low blood pressure in this world too. I laid down on my back and put my legs in the air. Kakashi looked away from his book and raised an eyebrow at me. "What are you doing?" My stomach was turning and waves of heat were rushing through my body. My vision was still getting worse so I just stayed looking at the sky. "I'm trying to regain my vision." He looked concerned, "What's wrong with your vision?" My vision started clearing a bit and my blood pressure began to even out again. I sat up feeling better, "nothing now." I smiled at him and got up. "now's ninjutsu, right?" He just shook his head, "now, you're going to explain what just happened." I sighed and sat back down. "It's simple. I have naturally low blood pressure so if it drops even in the slightest, I start losing vision and getting dizzy." He shook his head at what I said and got up. "That's enough training for today." My eyes widened in surprise. Does he think I'm fragile now? everyone always thought I was fragile but him too? Did he always think I'm fragile? Is that why he adopted me in the first place? because he thought I couldn't live alone. He's probably going to tell the hokage that I shouldn't become a ninja. Screw him! Even if he doesn't train me, I'm going to train myself! I got up and turned around, "You go on home. I have something to do."

I left the training grounds without looking back. I walked around, roaming the streets, looking for another training ground that I can use. I finally stumbled on an empty one at the edge of the village and walked in. It was surrounded by long trees and had a river running through it. the water was shining from the sun hitting it and the trees were rustling with the wind. The sound of birds chirping could be heard in the distance. It felt really calm and relaxing. I sat next to the river; a sense of ease washed over me. My worries were momentarily pushed out of my mind. This is the reason I love being alone. No one is there to judge me. I breathed deeply and fixed my posture. Next step is ninjutsu. I'll focus on my chakra for a while and then I'll try climbing a tree. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the warm buzzing inside me. after a couple of seconds, I could feel it rushing through my body. after getting used to sensing my chakra for a couple of minutes, I got up and faced a tree. I kept my eyes closed and sent chakra to my feet. I walked forward and put one foot on the tree. I increased the chakra and decreased it until my foot finally felt attached to the tree. I put my other foot up, with the same chakra ratio, and just stood there for a second. Getting used to the feeling of not being vertical. Once I was used to it, I took a couple more steps up. I opened my eyes slowly to see that I was 4 meters off the ground. Fear bubbled in my stomach and I struggled to stay focused. How could I forget that I'm scared of heights?! This is definitely going to be an issue. Calm down, if you lose focus you're done for. I need you to take deep breaths. In and out, there you go. You can't give up now. Don't let your fear control you. I hesitantly took another step up. Don't get me wrong! I was still terrified, but when you're always scared for so long, you kind of learn to ignore it. Before I knew it, I reached the top of the tree. Sadly, I had my eyes closed so I just tried to take another step, only to be met with air. I opened my eyes in surprise and my fear multiplied by 100. I lost my balance and started falling towards the floor. I guess this is how I die. I closed my eyes and prepared for the hit, but it never came.

Kakashi's POV

I watched Elle walk away. Even though she said she had something to do, I'm pretty sure she's just going to go train by herself. I sighed and decided to follow her. I wouldn't want her getting hurt in training. She stopped at another training ground and sat down on the floor. Should I go up to her? I was about to come out when I felt her chakra presence getting stronger. I looked closer, trying to understand what's happening. It wasn't like the last time where her chakra was being drained. It was like her chakra reserves are getting filled up even more. How can this happen? She stood up, a calm smile on her face and walked up to a tree. She stopped for a moment, closing her eyes. She then started walking up the tree slowly. Could she do this all along? She reached the middle of the tree and stopped. She opened her eyes and a fearful look crossed her face. She began releasing chakra into the air. Even with the disturbance in her chakra, she was able to maintain focus and keep walking up the tree. For someone new to chakra, she is doing great. Maybe I should just keep watching her train by herself and only step in if needed. I was snapped out of my thoughts when a strong chakra wave hit me. I looked up to see Elle falling from the tree. She didn't scream or anything. She was just falling silently, accepting defeat. I ran out from the tree and caught her. She opened her eyes surprised. I put her down but her feet didn't support her and she fell to a sitting position. She looked happy for a second but then her eyes flashed with hurt for just a second before going back to their emotionless state. "What are you doing here?" I sat down in front of her, thinking of an excuse. "I wanted to check on you so I followed your chakra." I smiled at her a close-eyed smile. she just scoffed and looked at the floor. Her hair covered her face but I could see her tears falling on the ground. "Please leave." She said with such a stable voice that if I didn't see her crying, I would assume nothing is wrong. I moved closer to her to comfort her but she pushed my hand away. "I'm serious. Please leave." I tried making her look at me but the moment my hands came close to her face, she started releasing chakra again. I moved away from her not wanting to make everything worse. I got up and walked out of the training grounds, hearing a faint thank you from behind me.

Elle's POV

I opened my eyes to see Kakashi in front of me. So that's why I didn't hit the ground. Thank god he was there or I would've been dead by now. But wait, how did he find me? Did he follow me here? Does he think I'm that frail? "What are you doing here?" I really hope he didn't follow me here. Maybe he was just passing by. "I wanted to check on you so I followed your chakra." he gave me a close-eyed smile. I scoffed at his answer. Liar. He followed me here. He didn't trust me for a single second. He was watching me this whole time. How could I even think he adopted me for another reason? He just thinks I'm too broken to function by myself. I looked at the ground not wanting him to see my tears. "Please leave." I wanted him gone. I didn't want him to think I'm weak. I didn't want him to think I'm broken. He moved closer to me but I couldn't deal with him right now so I pushed his hand away. "I'm serious. Please leave." He tried to come closer again but I couldn't handle it. I was so close to falling apart. He probably sensed my discomfort and moved away. he got up and started walking off towards the exit. I mumbled a thank you as I let my tears go. I was hugging my knees, shaking. How could I think that my life here could be better? No matter where I am, I will always be useless. I felt my energy draining and my exhaustion taking over. I just want to belong somewhere. I don't want to be a bystander anymore. I want to be truly loved by someone. I don't want to be a nuisance anymore. I just want it to be over. At this point I was laying on my back, silent tears making their way down my face. I did this so many times that I felt numb. I felt empty. My vision was blurring and my heart was slowing down. I just want it to stop. That was my last thought as I let go and drifted off into the darkness.

Shikaku's POV

I finally got home after a long mission. Shikamaru has gotten better at shogi than the last time we played. He got better but he wasn't good enough to beat me. I smirked and was about to make the final move when I felt a wave of chakra hitting me. I looked over at Shikamaru. Even he felt it? What was that? What a drag. I got up and ran out towards the source of the chakra with Shikamaru on my tail. The chakra seemed to be coming from the training grounds next to our house. I ran into the training grounds and hid in a tree to observe what was happening. To my surprise, there was no fight. There was only an unconscious girl. She didn't look bruised up either so she wasn't attacked. I walked over to her and checked her pulse. It was fading quickly. Shikamaru finally arrived and stood next to me. "Do you know her?" I asked since she looked about his age. He just shook his head. I sighed and picked her up. "Notify the hokage." He nodded and I teleported to the hospital. I ran over to a nurse and told them what was happening. She tried to use medical ninjutsu but whenever she activated it around the girl, it seemed to disappear. She ran and called for a medic. He looked at her with recognition. He quickly activated his medical ninjutsu but his contained a lot more chakra. He looked like he was struggling to keep it activated. He kept going for a few minutes before Shikamaru showed up with Kakashi. he walked over to the medic and started adding his own chakra to help him. not too long after that they were both drained and the girl started regaining consciousness. We all sighed with relief and I placed her on a hospital bed. She looked around confused only to close her eyes and go back to sleep. "What just happened?" I asked trying to make sense of what I saw. Kakashi just shook his head. He was still tired from using up his chakra so he sat down. "thank you for getting her here. I'm her guardian so you can leave now." he said before he passed out on the chair next to the girl's bed. "What a drag." I sighed and left the room with Shikamaru.

Elle's POV

I could feel my senses returning to me slowly. I liked the darkness. I didn't want to leave it. It seems like I don't have a choice. They're forcing me to wake up. I opened my eyes slowly; I was in a hospital room again. how did I get here? Why are Shikamaru and his dad here? Oh well, I don't care right now. I just want to go back to the darkness. I don't want to think right now. Off to dream land I go…