Chapter 8: The End of The Beginning

Kakashi's POV

I woke up to the sounds of birds chirping. You'd think it would make one's morning better but it really doesn't. how could I let it get to this? If Shikaku didn't find her, she would be dead. How did I just leave her there? I looked to the bed to see Elle awake, staring at the ceiling. I walked over to her and held her hand. "How are you feeling kiddo?" she looked at me with emotionless eyes but she didn't answer. She began to release a little chakra into the air. I just shook my head and sat next to her on the bed. She looked back to the ceiling and closed her eyes. Silent tears began falling down her face. "Please leave." She said emotionlessly. I shook my head and sat her up. "not this time, no." I hugged her closer to me. I could feel her tears falling into my shirt. "I want to go home." She said through her tears. I nodded and teleported us to her room. She looked up at me and shook her head. "I want to go home." Her voice cracked slightly this time. "You are home." I said looking down at her while she's still in my arms. She shook her head again. "It doesn't feel like home." Is she home sick? Just yesterday she was so happy that she is here. "Do you want to go back to your world?" I asked, lowkey scared of her answer. She shook her head again. "Then, where is your home?" she looked up at me with hurt eyes. "I don't know." My heart shattered to pieces at how broken she looked. I hugged her closer to me. "It's ok. I'm your home now. The leaf is your home." She shook her head and pushed me away. "I don't want your pity. You just adopted me because you think I'm incapable of taking care of myself and the hokage let me stay because he thinks I'm suicidal. This place isn't my home. I don't belong here." I looked at her shocked. "Where is this coming from? Why would you think that?" she looked at the floor mad. "Ever since you adopted me, I've had my doubts about your reasons. Why would someone adopt me even after knowing how broken I am? I couldn't answer that question. On our first training session, you saw how useless I am yet you still decided to train me. That's what made me think that you didn't think I'm frail or weak. But then you changed your mind yesterday. You deemed me unworthy of your training. You treated me like I was broken. That's when I realized the answer to my question. you adopted me because you think I'm broken. You adopted me because you think I'm weak. No matter how hard I try, I'm always too weak." Her words were shocking to me. Is that how she interpreted my actions? I just shook my head in disbelief. "I didn't adopt you because I thought you were too weak to be by yourself. I adopted you because you reminded me of my younger self. I didn't stop our training because I thought you were weak. I stopped our training because I wanted to do some research about your condition to figure out the best training method for you." She just shook her head at me. "Stop lying to me! If you wanted to do some research then why did you follow me? you were too scared to leave me alone, weren't you?" she gave me an angry look. "I followed you because I didn't want you to get hurt during training! I knew you were going to train either ways and you barely know anything about being a ninja! Not only that but you have a lot of health conditions that could act up at any moment. That's why I followed you! Not because I thought you were weak!" I could see the pain in her eyes. I hated not being able to do anything about it. She looked more mad than hurt though. She was burning holes into the floor with her eyes, "Sorry, I'm such a burden. You can just forget that you ever met me." What does she mean forget you ever met me? Is she insane?! I adopted her! She walked over to the closet, grabbed her bag that was already packed and walked towards the door. I ran in front of her and blocked the door. "Where do you think you're going?" I said getting mad. She was just about to leave? "I told you I'm a bad person. I told you I hurt those around me. You didn't listen so; I'm doing what you should've done." She walked past me and out the door. "Elle! get back here. Where are you going?" She just kept walking away. What do I do now? I can't force her to come back. I ran up to her again. "Elle, lets talk. Don't walk away from this." She stopped and looked at me. "there's nothing to talk about anymore. You were the perfect gaurdian and you took care of me perfectly. I loved staying with you. Sorry for the trouble I caused you. Goodbye Kakashi." I stood there stunned. She was leaving. I wasn't stopping her. What a guardian I am.

Elle's POV

I feel like I ripped my heart out of my own chest. I'm so sorry Kakashi. I know you didn't mean me any harm. I know you didn't adopt me because you thought I was weak. Deep down I truly believe it. But I think I'm weak. I think I don't belong here. it's not your fault. I blamed you for my shortcomings. If I stay, I will only bring you harm. My demons don't only haunt me but those around me as well. I'm so sorry, Kakashi. I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me.

I was walking down the streets, ignoring the weird looks I was getting from the people passing by. I had silent tears running down my face. I didn't know where I was going but I just kept walking. I ended up in front of the training grounds from the other day. I walked in and dropped my bag on the floor and laid down next to it. What do I do now? I'm homeless and I have no family. Maybe I should leave the hidden leaf... but I really don't want to. I don't know what to do. My thoughts were broken by someone sitting down next to me. I looked around while sitting up, it was Shikamaru. Why was he here? "You're the girl from the other day." I nodded and looked at the floor. I didn't feel like making friends right now, but maybe he could help. He is the smartest character in the show. "Can I ask question?" he nodded telling me to go on. "what person do with no home and no family?" my Japanese still wasn't great but I needed to ask someone this. He looked at me surprised, "What happened to the man with the grey hair?" I just shook my head. He sighed and seemed to be thinking for a second. "You do nothing. You just keep living. You continue to achieve your goals. You find somewhere and make it your home. If you have nothing, make something out of it." I looked at him baffled. How can an 11-year-old be so smart? I nodded and got up with new motivation. I'm not going to waste this life too. I'm still going to become a ninja even if I do it by myself. I looked at Shikamaru and smiled at him. "thank you." I walked off to the Hokage's office.

I knocked on the door and waited for a come in then I entered. I walked to the hokage, dreading what I'm about to do but knowing it's the right thing. "Good morning Elle. What can I help you with?" I took a deep breath and started talking. "I no more want to be Kakashi's daughter." He raised his eyebrows at my statement. "you wish to revoke the adoption papers." I nodded sadly. "Do you have a reason?" I looked at him sadly and nodded. He waited for my reason but he realized I wasn't going to tell him. He sighed and got the papers from his desk. "Are you sure about this? Once those papers are revoked, they can't be restored." I took a deep breath and nodded. He marked the papers and smiled at me. "There, now you're not Kakashi's adoptive daughter." I smiled at him sadly. "Anything else I can help you with?" I nodded, this time with a bit more enthusiasm. "I like to join academy please." He smiled at my attempt to talk Japanese but answered me anyway. "Are you sure you will be able to keep up? It is outstanding that you were able to learn to understand a language in the matter of days but you might still face trouble with expressing yourself." I shook my head. "I can talk. Not perfect but I can talk." He laughed out loud this time and I turned red in embarrassment. Was my Japanese that bad? I really need to focus on learning that goddamn language. "if you insist, then. Lessons started only a few minutes ago, head to Iruka's class. I'm sure he will welcome you warmly." I smiled a bright smile at him and ran out after thanking him.

I walked into the academy and asked about Iruka's class. They escorted me to the class and left me in front of the door. I had been trying to gain the courage to knock on the door for about 5 minutes now but to no avail. Come on Elle just knock! It's not that hard! on three. One…two…three.

KNOCK KNOCK

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?! THAT WAS TOO HARD! I ALMOST BROKE THE DOOR! NOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO THINK I'M A FREAK. I was freaking out on the inside but had a sweet smile plastered on my face. Iruka opened the door and looked at me questioningly. "can I help you?" I nodded. "Hello Iruka sensei! I am Elle Candel! The hokage told me to join your class till graduation." I put on my childish act and hoped to god that what I said was proper Japanese. He smiled a bright smile at me. "oh, welcome Elle. let me introduce you to the other students before you take your seat." I nodded enthusiastically and walked in after him. "class, this is Elle Candel. She will be your classmate from here on out. Do any of you have any questions for Elle?" A couple of hands shot up and Iruka picked Sakura. "Sensei, how is she going to be able to graduate if she joined so late?" Iruka looked at me, telling me to answer her question. I just shook my head and motioned for him to come closer. He gave me a confused look but he did anyways. I leaned in and whispered in his ear. "my Japanese not good. I no talk Japanese." his eyes widened and he whispered to me. "so, you don't talk Japanese but you understand it, right?" I nodded to him and he scratched the back of his head. "Well Sakura, I'm sure Elle is smart enough to manage." Everyone was giving us weird looks, curious about what just happened. "You can have a seat in the back." Iruka looked at me smiling. I nodded and walked off to the only empty seat in class, between Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto seemed to recognize me and he waved happily, "Aren't you the girl from before?" he asked as I was sitting down. I smiled at him and nodded happily. "Naruto! Quite down! We're in the middle of class." Iruka shouted from across the room. He looked in front of him again with a frown on his face mumbling something about unfair treatment. I just giggled quietly in my seat. I felt someone's eyes on me so I looked around the room. Shikamaru was looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I just raised my eyebrow at him and he looked back in front of him. That was weird. I wonder what he wants. I looked over at Naruto and asked for a paper and a pen. He had an extra paper but he didn't have an extra pen so I turned to Sasuke. He glared at me, probably expecting me to start hitting on him. calm your ego duckbutt, not everyone wants to hit on you. I just smiled at him and asked for a pencil. He looked back in front of him but handed me a pencil anyways. I thanked him and proceeded to write a letter to Sasuke when he leaves. I have this idea where I will write this letter in English and give it to Sasuke. But I'll only teach him the language when he is leaving so that when he joins Orochimaru he will be able to read the letter. I wrote and wrote until I was finally done. It took me both sides of the paper but at least I finished it. I looked over to Naruto and told him to write 'Read once you enjoy snake bites' on the folded paper. He was confused and asked why, but he did it anyway. I took it and put it in my pocket. Iruka dismissed the class for lunch but I stayed behind since, you know…I don't eat. I was thinking of the perfect time to give it to Sasuke when I was offered my chance on a silver platter. The class emptied out and only Sasuke and I remained. He pulled out his lunch and was about to start eating when I turned to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned to me in annoyance, "Hn, what do you want now?" I just smiled and handed him the paper and the pencil. He gave me a curious look before reading the Japanese on the paper. He looked at me disturbed, "You're insane." I laughed and shrugged, "Trust me, keep it." He looked at the paper again but this time he opened it. "what's this gibberish?" I shook my head and laughed again. "you'll understand after you enjoy snake bites." He just shook his head at me and went back to his food. I felt awkward just sitting there so I left the classroom to walk around for a bit. "Hey, Elle wait up." I looked behind me and saw Shikamaru walking down the hallway. I smiled at him and waved. "since you asked me a question last time, I get to ask you a question this time." I shrugged and nodded. I wonder what he wants to ask. I'm not sure what I can tell him."Do you not speak Japanese?" I flushed red and looked away. he chuckled at me "caught you." I laughed at his comment, "How did you know?" I asked scratching the back of my head sheepishly. "it was pretty obvious from the way you talked earlier in the training grounds. Where are you from anyways? You have a weird accent." I slumped my shoulders, "My Japanese is that bad, huh?" I fixed my posture and smiled. "I'm not from here. I speak English." He thought about it for a second, "English? Never heard of it. Do you mind if you teach me? I can teach you Japanese and you can teach me English." I raised my eyebrow at him confused "Why learn English?" He simply shrugged. "It could be useful on missions since no one here speaks English." I gave him a nod saying that I understand. "Are you free afterschool? You can come over and teach me." I shook my head at him. "Meet at the training grounds." He shrugged and nodded indifferently. Just then, Iruka sensei walked back into class and told us to take our seats. I sighed and got ready for another god knows how many minutes of boring lectures.

-After class-

Finally! I know this is my first day but I'm already so done with this. Iruka just talked the whole day. I mentally complained as I made my way towards the exit. I watched the kids leave with their parents and my heart sank. I miss my parents. I sighed and continued watching the scene with a longing smile on my face. Shikamaru walked out from the crowds and I gladly accepted the distraction. He walked over to me and we started walking to the training grounds quietly. Shikamaru wasn't as much of a distraction as I needed. He just stayed quiet and looked in front of him. The one time I don't want someone to be quiet. Memories of my friends floated into my brain. I could never get them to shut up. A small smile made its way onto my face as I recalled some of the good times I had with my friends. I really do miss them.

By the time we reached the training grounds, I was completely absorbed in my memories. It felt like I was floating but not in a good way. It felt like I was empty but full to the brim at the same time. This used to happen a lot when I was in school. I would get so caught in my own head and wouldn't be able to snap out of it. Me and my friends had a code for situations like these. Whenever I needed them to ground me, I would just ask them for a red pen. They never really knew what to do but the thought that they were there was comforting. Shikamaru stopped and turned to look at me. I looked at him breathing deeply. I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath. "Get me a flower." He raised his eyebrows at me but seemed to sense the urgency in my tone. He walked away and came back after what felt like a few seconds. When I get those episodes, my sense of time is completely gone so I can never tell how much time is passing. He was holding a white flower, avoiding all the thorns so he doesn't get cut. He gave me the flower and I just grabbed onto it. I immediately felt the sting in my hand. I then held the flower up to my nose and smelled it. It smelled earthy and subtle but it was a good smell. I let go slightly and readjusted my hand, forming new fresh cuts. This was the only way to ground myself, using pain or scent or sound. Nothing else ever worked. I took a couple of deep breaths just to make sure I was completely calm. "Are you ok?" Shikamaru asked looking at me weirdly. Thank you Shika. I really needed that. Instead of expressing my gratitude, I just nodded in response. He sat down in front of me and took out a note book and some pens. "Ready to start?" I nodded enthusiastically while smiling and we started working on our languages.

-time skip (1 week)-

Time passed quickly with the Academy, training and studying Japanese. Me and Shikamaru met every day afterschool and taught each other the different languages. He was a fast learner but when it comes to languages, I'm the best. Ever since I was a kid, I was able to learn languages way faster than others. I was also able to complete 5 laps around the village instead of my previous record of 2 laps. My taijutsu still majorly sucked but at least I was able to perfect all the basic ninjutsu Kakashi taught me. I haven't seen him since the fight and I honestly hope I don't see him anytime soon.

At the time, I was sitting in the training ground next to Shikamaru. We had just finished our studying and decided to get some training in since the graduation exam is in a couple of days. I was practicing chakra control with my eyes closed, while he was trying to improve his aim. We were training in silence when I heard a kunai drop and a grunt. I opened my eyes and got up rushing over to him. Ok, theories:

1-shikamaru hurt himself training

2- we're getting attacked by an invisible enemy

Shikamaru was sitting on the floor, his hand covering the top of his arm. I rushed over to him. I'm going to assume that it's theory 1 since it's the most…realistic. I removed his hand and looked at the cut. It wasn't that deep so I wasn't too worried. "Don't move." I ordered and rushed over to my school bag, where I kept all the things I might need. I got out some bandages and some perfume. I walked back and sat facing his arm. "This will burn a bit." I said as I was spraying perfume on the cut to clean it. he visibly winced but didn't say anything. I wrapped the bandages around his arm, covering the wound. "the cut is small so you should be fine." I kept talking in a serious voice. "change the bandages every night and make sure the wound is clean. Also make sure you don't get the area wet. If you see that the bleeding has stopped, which will happen probably in around 3 days, you can just remove the bandages all together. Understood?" he nodded at me surprised by my actions. "How old are you?" ok, I wasn't expecting that. Why is he asking that now? "Right now, I'm 11. Why?" He just shrugged leaning back on his arms. "you act way too mature for an 11-year-old." I just laughed and shook my head. "I'm not mature. I just know how to take care of myself." he raised an eyebrow at me. "life is such a drag. You should just let the adults handle difficult situations." A memory of Kakashi's promise rushed through my head. "some people don't have adults to handle situations for them." A sad smile had found its way to my face. He looked at me, understanding the meaning behind my words. "Are your parents…" he trailed off not wanting to upset me. They're alive, I'm the one that died. "yeah, they're not around anymore." I looked up at him to see him looking at me with pity. "Don't look at me like that. I'm fully capable of taking care of myself! I'm a strong independent woman, ain't no body gotta tell me how to raise my children!" He just shook his head and smiled as he got up. I motioned for him to help me up as well. When we were both on our feet, we said our good byes and went our separate ways.

As I was going home, my mind wandered back to Kakashi. I've been really lonely lately living by myself but I couldn't go back after hurting him like I did. I don't deserve to. I should focus on my training for now. I started making a list of all my health issues that are preventing me from reaching my full potential. If I am able to get rid of these issues, my training can go so much better. Lets see. there's my blood pressure and my malnutrition. Lets start with those and then we can work our ways to the rest. I walked into my apartment and sat on my bed. How am I going to get the information I need? I can't visit the library since I can't read Japanese. who can I ask? A wave of sadness washed over me at my realization. I have no one to ask for help. I love it here but sometimes it can be a bit scary how alone I am. I'm in a world where I don't have any family or friends. There's no one I can turn to in those kinds of situations. But I can't give up. I have to make something out of my life. I was lucky enough to get a second chance at life and I'm not going to waste it. I'll just have to figure it out myself. I threw my head back on my pillow and tossed my bag to the wall. I was going to figure this out tomorrow. Even though I was exhausted from all the training, I tossed and turned in my bed for hours that night before I was finally able to drift off to sleep.