Chapter 15 Dinner

*

All of this made you really uncomfortable.

The two of you were sitting in a small corner of the restaurant, away from the eyes and ears of the customers.

It was a very quiet and well-decorated little room. If you had been lucky enough to be alone in that room, you might have thought you were still alive... unfortunately the demon deer in front of you remembered that you were very far from being alive.

Neither of you had said a word since you had settled in.

*

Yeah, well, the fun was a little slow in coming...

*

This silence was really stressful for you, fortunately there was a small candle on the table as a decoration. Very quickly your eyes fixed on the flame that came out of it. You were completely absorbed by the light.

It was so beautiful... so pleasing to your eyes. It was almost comforting. Seeing that flame dancing allowed you to think about something else, to forget about who was in front of you, to forget about where you were, and just to enjoy the beauty of the flame of a candle.

Alastor easily noticed your attention on the object and his smile twisted slightly, he understood that it was a way for you to escape, to be there and not be there somehow.

It was his fault, he hadn't specified the attitude you should have at that dinner. At the same time, he couldn't have predicted that you would be so rude and so selfless by the chance you had.

Did you even have the slightest idea of how lucky and honored you were? He knew demons who would kill in order to get even an ounce of his attention, and what did you do? You were distracted by a simple candle like a child discovering fire for the first time.

A frustrated growl came out of his throat in the form of a white noise, and with a simple glance the candle went out, bringing you back to reality.

*

"Have you chosen my dear? "he asked in his usual joyful tone. Even though he was still a little annoyed by your lack of enthusiasm.

*

You blinked several times to return completely to reality and answered.

*

"Well, um... I don't really know what to take all sounds appetizing." You said with a forced smile as you turn your attention to the restaurant menu. Of course the truth was that even though his smell woke up the hungry wolf you had become, paradoxically you didn't want to swallow anything. "Have you already chosen?" You've asked

The deer's smile widened when he noticed you were finally a little more willing to talk.

*

"Well I will certainly take venison... I must admit that the way they cook deer meat is quite delectable, yet, I'm a big foodie ,and very critical of food..."

*

You nodded your head silently. Maybe you were gonna get the same th--wait ... deer?! You looked at him completely stunned by what you'd just heard, your eyes were round like saucers and your mouth opened slightly in surprise.

*

"You... eat deer?"

"Why yes darling ! Why shouldn't I eat something I love? Is it because I'm a deer myself?" He asked with a chuckle.

You frown slightly.

"Well, other people might consider that cannibalism, don't you think? »

"We are what we eat, my dear," Alastor replied with a dark smile that gave you a shiver on your back. "And it's not like there are humans to eat here."

*

Okay there, you really were uncomfortable.

It wouldn't have bothered you more than that, that he ate deer meat, after all, he could have loved it in his past life, but that last sentence proved that he had a penchant for the human kind.

You slowly swallowed with fear. Great, not only were you at the table of someone you hated, but he was a cannibal who didn't look like he had to eat humans for survival ... unlike you.

Instead of showing a disgusted face, you preferred to smile smugly.

*

"I won't argue with you there, though I've rarely met anyone who took that expression literally. " you said as you take a sip of your drink and try to think about something else.

"It's not very common among humans, I must admit it. " laughed Alastor. He looked at you silently for a moment and asked, "So you're lost between all these dishes? »

*

The change of subject unsettled you, but honestly, you were really happy to talk about something else.

"Well, yeah... I'm a little lost, that's the right word. "

"Take the same as I do, you'll tell me about it. "

You tightened up again.

"What's the problem? "Alastor asked innocently. "You're not going to tell me you don't like it, are you? "

Oh Lucifer. If it wasn't for saving your friends , you'd have left the table a long time ago right after you beat him to death. That guy was sick. Seriously, why would he offer you something like that? You felt your stomach turn in disgust, as you politely declined his offer.

"Alastor, don't take this the wrong way, but it really bothers me." You said, looking away and blushing in embarrassment.

It's not like you were a wolf and tried to eat him the first time you met him.

The deer looked at you with amusement. Its head was softly resting on its right hand and its ears listened with obvious pleasure to your jerky breathing through the soft music that was playing in the room. Oh how he loved to see you like this, you were so distracting when you didn't know where to stand. Just like a poor little wolfcub which was lost.

"Nonsense my dear ! I don't mind it at all ! I know deep down you're dying for it. Isn't that right?"

You couldn't help shivering at the sound of his strangely deep voice.

"I-"

Too late, Alastor had called the server and placed the order. You growled silently. Seriously, you would have shot him in the head if you could have. Sighing with exasperation, you were content to answer the waiter who asked you what kind of cooking was most to your taste and then shut up.

Unfortunately, Alastor quickly took the floor again, breaking the silence almost instantly.

*

"Well my dear, tell me about yourself."

"Talking about me is a pretty broad subject. "you answered with a bit of a bad mood. "What exactly do you want to know?"

The deer's smile widened in excitement.

"Well, what was your life like before you went to hell? Where did you live?" he asked energetically, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

You wet your lips as you remembered your past life. You were already feeling horrible pressure in your chest and the tension started to build up in your stomach despite the soft jazzy music you could hear.

*

"Well, I spent my childhood and part of my adolescence in an extremely poor and unfriendly neighbourhood." You told him all the details of your neighbourhood, it saved you time until the waiter brought your order in, the more precise you were about that kind of unimportant matter, the less likely you were to come across unwanted questions.

Strangely the deer was listening to you attentively, it was quite disturbing, his eyes showed a great interest that you found very hard to understand. You didn't know if he was acting or if he was really interested in life in your neighbourhood.

"How was the neighborhood? "he asked.

"Well, it was not so different from some parts of the pentagram city. The residents were suspicious of each other, no one spoke to each other, it was every man for himself. " You explained sadly. "There were a few people who stayed together, but they were very selective and sectarian. To tell you the truth, I don't even remember the name of our neighbor, because I hardly ever saw her.

It was almost like a ghost town. The only animation was the screams of the neighbourhood children harassing random people, or the noise of guns and car explosions during the settling of scores. That was one of the reasons why I didn't go out often, I didn't want to mingle with these people... Especially since being a girl had many disadvantages there. "

*

The deer looked at you with a perfectly neutral look. His smile remained on his face but it seemed a little tense.

*

"So you spent most of your time at home, If I've heard you correctly."

"That's right. I lived in a small apartment with my parents" Your voice trembled slightly at the word "parents" "We weren't the wealthiest people in the neighborhood but we managed to make ends meet somehow. I had very good grades at school even though I didn't really excel in group work because I stayed in my own corner a lot. Luckily for me I wasn't really bullied because the boy or girl who dared to bully me would end up with a cheek as red as your monocle." You dared to joke.

The deer's smile relaxed slightly and looked a little more sincere than usual but you preferred not to pay any particular attention to this detail. It was only a mask and you knew it perfectly well.

"And you didn't have any close friends? »

Your smile fell off as you searched your memory. There were a few people you had met who came back to your memory, but could you say they were friends? You didn't know yourself.

"Not really. I can't remember the names of most of them." You answered truthfully. "I didn't really have time to think about it anyway. " You said in a cold tone as you thought about your parents' problems.

"Why was that? " asked the deer with a playful little smile.

*

Couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?

*

"Well, life made things worse. We were drowning in debt and my father ended up serving the mafia that had been in our neighborhood for years. He took refuge in alcohol because he couldn't psychologically handle all the atrocities he had done. As for me, I quit school as soon as I could and took on a series of odd jobs to help him."

Alastor's eyes darkened, he must have been imagining things that were not very flattering compared to your father. That immediately made you angry. Without question, you declared bitterly.

*

"If you think my father was a drunken bastard, you're sadly mistaken."

*

The deer had been surprised by your change of tone, but he preferred not to say anything. Your reaction was interesting, and he wanted to know why you were defending such a poor wreck.

"What was he like then if he wasn't a pathetic drunkard unable to face reality? " he asked in a mocking tone that almost made you went ranging mad.

You quickly regained your composure and replied simply, however, through your seemingly neutral voice, Alastor could see something more in your eyes when you talked about your father, he didn't know what it was exactly. He had some idea from your previous reaction, but he couldn't give a name to what he saw.

"He never hit me, and he always did his best not to drink in front of me.

Of course he yelled at me sometimes or broke things but he never hit me, he always did his best to help me when I had a problem. In spite of his alcoholism and what he did, he always tried to help others whenever he had the opportunity, and make up for his mistakes. I couldn't have wished for a better father." Your voice shook. You bit your tongue to come to your senses. You put your hands on the table and joined them together and intertwined your fingers to try to calm yourself more easily.

*

Yes, you couldn't have wished for a better father.

How many times have you hated yourself for being alive because of that? If you hadn't been there, he wouldn't have had to work for the mob, he wouldn't have destroyed himself, and he wouldn't have been killed...

You killed him... You killed your own father, you monster...

*

Alastor blinked with slight confusion.

"So if I understand correctly, given what you've become today, you've replaced your father in the mob."

"That's right... " you replied by looking up at the ceiling for a few moments, before taking a sip of your drink. "I don't really remember how old I was, all I know is that I had dropped out of school, and was working to different jobs to help my father pay off the debts we had at home.

One day when I was coming home, 2 men grabbed me and took me to see their boss." You looked down for a moment as if looking for words and your fingers were tapping on the wood on the table "Our conversation took place in a bar in a much better neighborhood than the one I lived in. After a few minutes we finally came to a deal... "With a sigh, you added. "It was the first deal in my life..."

"And what was it? »

"I had to stay in the Mafia, follow orders and missions that the boss and only the boss gave me. In exchange, the boss would pay off our debts and give us his protection." A painful laugh came out of your mouth. "But of course I was young and I hadn't paid enough attention to the terms of the contract and everything turned against me at the end ... »

"What do you mean my dear?"

You stopped breathing for a few seconds, then you looked at the deer in the eyes with obvious anger. No matter what you did, it jumped at the slightest crack, at the slightest inaccuracy to turn the knife in the wound over and over again.

You didn't want to talk about it... it hurt... it hurt like hell. It was like you were being eaten from the inside out by worms or bugs.

The images of your boss flooded into your vision and a horrible urge to vomit started to take over. You felt yourself going backwards as your past played out in your head, and your back hit the back of your chair.

*

"He simply used the flaws in the contract. I didn't yet know what human decay could do... I didn't know how monstrous and evil humans could really be. And it... destroyed everything I could possess... and love." You responded with an emotional blank stare and a monotone voice.

*

There was a heavy silence. You looked down and hoped that the comforting flame of the candle on the table was there again to think about something else, but unfortunately it was still extinguished.

However, you hadn't noticed that Alastor had moved his hand a little closer to yours.

The deer had tensed up when he noticed it. He felt that his face was in complete contradiction to his actions. He loved seeing that ugly expression on your face so much. He liked to feel the pain you were going through. He liked to see you like this, kneeling on the ground.

Yet his body reacted in a way that disgusted him, he didn't fully feel that unhealthy satisfaction when he looked at you, and that frustrated him.

No, something was missing, it was not entertaining, you were not playing the game, your expression did not reflect the anguish, the fear, the despair and the anger he had seen in your fight. No, you were not showing him enough of those emotions that he loved so much about you. He had to try another question. A much more painful question. He took his hand away and brought it to his chin without taking his eyes off you.

"How tragic, my dear." you've been rolling your eyes in front of his mocking tone.

"Did you ask me to have dinner with you to learn more about me or to mock me?" You grunted with glee.

Before the deer could answer you, the waiter arrived with your orders, and you immediately smelled the smell of meat.

Your stomach wrung with impatience. It smelled so good that you felt a little... disoriented. Your wolf instinct was taking over and if you hadn't held back you would have certainly jumped on the plate like a starving woman to eat it all in less than a minute.

The cooking of the meat was worthy of the greatest restaurants in which you had ever eaten, the garnish was beautifully presented. It made your mouth water. It was so hard to control yourself. It took a huge effort on your part.

Alastor contemplated you discreetly. He had noticed that you were already a little more 'agitated' and 'distracted'. He held a small laugh in the back of his throat at your weakness.

You were definitely a little wolf cub.

*

"What are you waiting for, my dear? Taste it."

*

You looked up at Alastor without saying a word and saw that he was starting to eat. With a trembling hand you grabbed your knife and started to cut the meat. Alastor watched you do it with a bad smile on his face. You may not have noticed it, but your eyes had turned a slightly redder color, showing your lack of control.

This time you were entertaining.

He watched your hand bring your fork to your mouth, and then his red orbs fixed the way you elegantly chewed the piece of meat.

Your mouth movements were slow, almost shy... embarrassed. He felt something in his stomach, an unhealthy, masochistic pleasure as his ears twitched at the faint sound of your fangs shredding and crushing the meat.

He loved that sound and hated it. It reminded him of very bad memories, but at the same time it also reminded him of that fight, oh yes, that fight.

His fingers tapped a fast rhythm on the tap as he thought about it, and little by little the tempo became faster as he thought about your bites and your wild rage.

Oh Lucifer, it drove him crazy. Totally insane. He watched his skin give way and be torn off, your eyes filled with anger and gleaming with animal hunger. There was nothing elegant about the way you ate him if he compared the way you ate the meat, it was beastly, fierce, and horribly painful. That was very definitively something.

Oh and your eyes... You made him feel something, a feeling that was strangely familiar and foreign to him. And that time in his office... he didn't know what it was. All those feelings were so strange. A shiver ran down his spine making him tremble against his will as he remembered everything he'd felt with you.

Several twisted questions began to run through his head as he continued to listen with an attentive ear to your tasting. Feeling that he was losing more and more control over his movements, the deer cleared his throat and asked questions.

*

"So my dear, do you like your meal? "

*

Your ears were immediately alerted to the sound of his voice. You raised your head to look him in the eyes and horrible shivers spread throughout your body. His expression showed a worrying hunger that had not reassured you at all, especially since since you knew he was a cannibal. It is not as if you almost looked like a human after all.

"... It's very good Alastor" you answered honestly, blushing with embarrassment. You weren't very comfortable saying that in front of him.

"Wonderful! " exclaimed Alastor and startled you. "I'm really glad you like it."

You rolled your eyes and continued to eat in silence.

The truth was that it was really delicious and you didn't want to show how much you enjoyed the food. Plus, the sooner you finished that meal the sooner you could go home before that deer found another idea to play with you.

"Darling..." He started off with a honeyed tone that didn't bode well. "I wanted to ask you a little question that's been burning in my tongue for some time. »

"I'm listening" you replied bitterly...

The deer's smile widened, and in a tone as sadistic as it was unhealthy, he asked you:

*

"I wanted to know if you ever had a child in the past."

*

Time seemed to pause.

You had frozen completely. You had an unknown expression on your face, your eyes were wide open, your eyebrows raised and your mouth closed.

You almost dropped your fork. When your brain had finally processed his words, your eyes darkened and Alastor could see an expression even more impassive than anything he had seen in the past.

You had slowly put your fork on your plate without saying a word. You were expecting a painful question about your parents or boyfriend... but not this question. Not that question.

How dare he ask you that question?

*

This time it took a superhuman effort to remain impassive while your heart was torn to pieces, and by miracle, you had succeeded.

To the amazement of the deer you showed nothing. He could not read you, even though he studied your gaze and your body language. No trace of anger, despair, rage or even hatred.

A real iron lady.

*

"In another life I could have, what about you?" You answered in a monotone voice without the slightest emotion. You stretched your neck showing your self-confidence and your contempt. Making it clear to him that you were not going to play into his hands and that you would not stoop to such baseness on his part.

The deer's smile wavered. No no no no, you weren't supposed to react like that. He wanted to break that neutral and icy expression that characterized you and that had the gift of annoying him. His hands tightened in the face of this failure.

"Ha ha ha! Oh no, no, no, no, dear! I had other things to think about than building a family. "The deer replied with a forced chuckle.

You, for your part, felt that you had destabilized it. You restrained yourself from smiling in the face of your victory. You couldn't smile, not now, it would betray you.

"So you could have been a mother from what you tell me. What happened?"

"I would have been happy to tell you my life story in Alastor detail, but I prefer to use my joker. I won't tell you anything more about my family and anything that has anything to do with it. »

The deer's eyes widened in amazement.

"No, no, my dear, I told you that-"

"That I was can use a Joker" you cut him coldly "Yes I heard, however you didn't tell me the limits of the Joker when you made this deal with me. You didn't specify whether it was for one or more questions. So I have the right to do whatever I want with it."

*

This time you could've sworn you heard him grunt in frustration, and again, maintaining your current expression was an ordeal. Now it was up to you to savor his anger.

*

"Why don't you eat your food deer? You've hardly touched your plate and it's going to get cold. It would be a shame since you like this dish, don't you think? "You advised, leaving this time a little sadistic smile on your face.

*

Alastor's body stiffened with anger. How dare you stand up to him like that? How dare you to make light of the rules of his own game? How dare you?

There was a white noise around him showing that he was furious that you were not following his plans. Then suddenly he realized something when he looked at you.

It was him who was losing his temper, not you. It was him and only him.

...

You were dominating him.

*

"What's wrong? I know that deer are ruminant animals, but I still find your behavior strange suddenly. You seemed so eager to enjoy this meal with me.

The meat is not to your taste? Would you have preferred it to be more tender like hind maybe?" You provoked with an innocent air.

Alastor didn't answer you right away, but you could see that he didn't like the turnaround at all. He was almost adorable. He looked like a child sulking his parents because he hadn't had his dessert.

The radio demon lifted his chin and unconsciously swelled his chest, showing his contempt. Your smile widened when you noticed that He was now much easier to read him.

*

"No, my dear, I'm just taking my time to enjoy this meal and enjoy your presence a little more."

You couldn't hold back a little chuckle over the bitterness of his tone.

*

"You're right, the best things are lusted after and savored." You responded with a mocking tone while finishing your glass and plate in the most neutral and calm manner as possible.

*

Alastor's smile was much more terrifying, but you didn't care. Did you hurt him? Oh poor little self-centered Bambi. Screw him! You would have put a bullet right between his eyes the moment he dared to ask that question about your child. Lucky for him that the hotel needed him.

That provocation was enough to remind you who you were and what you'd done. You hadn't let your boss see you angry, so you had to do the same with that evil scum.

The rest of the dinner was spent in an awkward silence. The only noises your ears could hear were the sound of Alastor's fangs shredding the meat left on his plate and the music from the restaurant.

*

"I wanted to know darling..." he began before finishing his plate.

You stiffened up and waited patiently for his question...

"You know, ever since I met you, there's one thing I don't understand about you."

"What's that?"

"Not once have I seen you enjoy yourself, or even take pleasure in a certain activity. You just do what Charlie asks you to do like a well-trained dog. Do you ever have fun or even let go? "

You didn't flinch when he compared you to a dog. It was way too low. Instead you brought one hand to your mouth and giggled quietly.

"ha ha ha, Alastor, I think you don't seem to realize certain things about the mafia, so I'm gonna help you because you seem to be having trouble projecting yourself in my shoes.

When you're in the mafia, there's no entertainment."

*

You took a darker tone but your smile stuck to your face.

*

"Entertainment in the common sense is foreign to us, it has a completely different definition. The only way you can entertain yourself is to play doctor and harvest organs from innocent people, if that doesn't suit you, you can still play the salesman and sell them on the black market.

You can also have fun torturing people to get some pleasure out of it, but believe me, you don't feel anything after a while. No matter how hard you test everything that your brain immagine in order to kill that boredom.

You can burn the skin and the eyes of your victim with cigarettes, pulling her teeth or nails, using electrical appliances on her eyes, mouth, or even genital parts, You'll get tired of it.

You can try the atrocity while opening her belly to fill her with all kinds of garbage and ordering her to walk around with a smug look on your face before watching her die right in front of you, you will never feel anything at the end and you will forget the very definition of fun.

People who have fun like you are a nuisance, lazy rich kids who don't know how to get a real job and are only interested in having fun. In my neighborhood a guy like you wouldn't last a month.

The only people who had the right to have fun were those who had all the power, like my boss for example."

You sighed in front of his surprised face, and you've finished.

"I was only having fun while I was playing Russian roulette with my victims, it was the only time I had any suspense left. Sometimes my boss wanted me to "correct" and rid him of "reluctant" or "deficient" members, and believe me, you can't imagine how good it felt to play with them. It was the only time I could feel "alive". But I could never have fun or entertain myself like any normal person would. The only time I did it well... " you laughed and then continued "I loved, I lost everything and I was killed. So no Alastor, I don't have fun. I preferred to forget what it meant."

*

The deer had remained silent. Analyzing each of your words with minutiae. His eyes were wide open and his smile a little smaller. All you could say was that he was surprised but you couldn't tell what his sadistic brain was up to.

Suddenly he suddenly stood up and leaned towards you.

*

"Oh dear goddess gracious in heaven Y/N! I had no idea! What an unfortunate life! I'm really sorry to hear that. Now I understand you much better! "Alastor said in a loud voice that startled you.

*

You blinked several times with the most confused expression you have ever had in your entire life. Before your brain could process what was happening the deer moved quickly towards you and gently grabbed your arm before forcing you to stand up.

*

"Hey Wh-What are you doing?" you asked in a panic as you tried to get out of its grip. In response, the deer leaned a little closer to you, smiling up to his ears.

*

"What a silly question Y/N ! I'm going to teach you how to have fun again, it's the least I can do, after all, you were kind enough to answer my little questions. Come on, dance with me."

...

"What?"

*

*

*