Chapter Two Hundred and Nine - Painful Decisions

Instead of looking at me Hailey lets herself go and would have slumped to the floor if she wasn't secured in my arms.

Lifting her bridal style, "I'm so tired Adian" Hailey started mumering, "it's been to long and I am finally ready to forget everything." She mumbles against my chest.

"Do you want to rinse the soap off your body before you put some clothes on?" I asked softly and she simply shock her head.

"No, I'm good." She responds, her tone lifeless.

We're both damp, but still I carry her towards the bed and put her to sit, while I try to dry her hair, as gently as possible.

Hailey runs her fingers lightly over my stomach and my thigh, which is damp from taking her out of the shower. "You need to change out of these wet clothes," she says gently, her voice breaking. "I can't help myself right now and if you catch a cold, I won't be able to nurse you back to health." Covering her face with the palm of her, Hailey starts sobbing again.

I pull her into my arms, as I knelt in front of her, for the first time in my life, I am helpless. Helpless to help the one person I promise to be there for during the good times and the bad times.

"I am so sorry Adian, that I lost the baby," Hailey cries into the palm of her hands, that's laying against my chest.

I blinked away the tears that threaten to fall, because if she sees me cry, it will break her further and I can't allow that. I have to help her deal with our loss, but we can't heal from it separately and she's kept pushing me away, until now.

"Hailey, it's not your fault or anyone's." I try lifting her face, but with a determination, she kept her face hidden against my chest. "The doctor explained, that you were under stress and your pressure level dropped drastically, which is what caused..." Pausing, I search my mind for the words to use that will help her. "Our loss," I said, gently stroking her damp hair, that's falling loosely down her back and her's and my face.

Lifting her head, she pushes me away, finally meeting my eyes.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces at the eyes that's staring back at me.

Hailey's eyes has become dull and lifeless.

The girl staring back at me has lost all hope and isn't fighting anymore.

The girl staring back at me isn't pretending to be happy anymore.

The girl staring back at me, has given up, but I am not giving up on her and us and our family.

Laughing humorously, her loose hair dangling all over her face, "you still have a chance with yours and Samantha's baby." Hailey says, "so I have made the right decision," she continues, her sad eyes staring at me intently.

"Hailey you're..." I try to explain, but Hailey places a hand over my mouth.

"I am not done," she says, with a new determination.

Nodding, I agree to hear her out, tightening my arms around her.

"I want a divorce and I want nothing," Hailey says firmly, shocking me further, but she covers my mouth with her hands once again.

Without looking away, as she normally does when the conversation gets too serious, Hailey continues with her well thought out plan for our future, my future.

"I just want to go away from here and from everyone I know, but I only need one thing from you." Hailey pauses and looks towards the doorway, "please keep Emmy safe," she starts crying again, but softly this time. " I won't bother you or your.. uh family," Hailey tries to wriggle out of my clutches, but I held her close and sighed softly.

"Okay you have had your say, now can I speak?" I gently lifted her chin with my index finger, and smiled at her, before I leaned closer and captured her lips in a soft gently kiss.

Moving away, "first of all, I am not the father of Samantha's baby" I said, her facial expression changing by the second.

Again, I held her tightly as she tried to wriggle free again.

Frowning, "but you said" Hailey looks away as she seem to be searching for the right words to tell me.

Shaking her head, "no" Hailey again tries to pull away, but I kept her firmly in my grasp. "You said, two children" she reminded me, still frowning. "No, let me go." Hailey's determination returned. "I've already made up my mind to let you go so you can have a family and be happy." Hailey fights against me, but she was no match for me, not tonight.

"What about that little girl in the next room?" I asked watching her fall back on the bed, when I suddenly released her.

I was hurt now and suddenly I couldn't hold back, because for the first time in years, I felt vulnerable. "You have been curled up here for more than a week pushing me away. Pushing Emmy away." I was yelling and suddenly started lowering my voice, when I saw the fear in her eyes.

"You have been pushing everyone in this house away, because you're hurting and I know that Hailey, I know your pain, because.." slapping my hands towards my chest, "I feel it too. I am hurting for the loss of our child and at the thought of losing you." I tell her, kneeling in front of her once again as she awkwardly tries to sit up straight.

Placing my hands on her thighs, "I know this feeling," I look away, trying to blink away the tears, "would never go away and this baby we have lost will always be in here," I placed one of my hands against my chest and the other against hers, where our hearts are.

The tears I kept blinking away, started overflowing,