Chapter 14

Calm down, Ainnie. You can do this. You're his wife now. You can do this. She chanted the words like a mantra in her head but it wouldn't calm down her wrecked nerves and erratic heart.

The moment that she was dreading was finally upon her—her wedding night.

The wedding reception was a small success. There were only a few people. Anissa wondered why only two people attended the wedding from Shehryaar's side. She wanted to ask him about his family but her own nervousness had her already on edge so she decided against it.

When it was time for her to go with her husband, she broke down in tears—typical, expected from every bride on their rukhsati.

Now here she was, back in the farm house outside of Islamabad and in his room, sitting on his king sized bed in the middle of a lavishly designed and decorated room of themes maroon and black. It was illuminated from every corner. Somehow, she got a feeling that Shehryaar liked the colors red and black since that was the main theme of their wedding attire.

She stared at the diamond ring on her left right finer—it was beautiful with four large diamonds surrounded by intricate filigree designs. It was a small right yet it held so much meaning—she was now a married woman.

Shehryaar had put on this ring on her finger after the the Nikkah.

"Now, you officially belong to me." He had whispered possessively in her ear. Even now when she recalled it, she felt cold shivers run down her spine. It seemed he had nothing else to say to her except that now he owned her. Of

Course that didn't it was true: she was his wife but that didn't mean she belonged to him. She was her own person and she would always fight to maintain her individuality.

My life—what was to become of it now? Only to follow my husband's orders and wishes? Will he allow me to continue practicing medicine? Will I be able to pursue my dreams?

What did the future hold for her? Marriage not only entailed security but also equality and fairness—will Shehryaar give that to her? From his domineering personality, Anissa highly doubted it.

Clenching her hands into tight fists, she deeply inhaled and exhaled. She chastised herself, steeling her will to meet the expectations of her husband.

The door clicked open and her head jolted up causing her heart to go in over drive. A nurse was wheeling Shehryaar's Amma inside. Anissa relaxed and tried to smile.

I can do this. I can overcome this. It has to happen sooner than later.

But her attire wasn't helping in the least. The heavy dress and jewelry was causing her suffocation. Her chest was tight in the heavily embroidered blouse and she wanted to relieve herself from the dress.

Slowly, she descended down from the bed, her heavy dress and veil dragged along.

"Oh no bachay, don't mind me," she chuckled lightly, her smile frail yet bright.

Anissa smiled lightly and sat at the edge of the bed. The wheel chair stopped by her side and the old lady grasped Anissa's hands lightly.

"Mashaa Allah, jeeti raho." She commented and tenderly passed her hand over Anissa's head as a sign of approval and adoration. Her smile was so contagious that despite her dismal state of mind, Anissa smiled brightly as well.

"I'm so glad that my Chanda married someone like you. I'm so glad." She chided, her eyes twinkling with delight. "Take good care of him baita. Shehryaar has seen very little happiness in life. He may be a hard man which meets the eye but he's a good man. He has seen very little of good and kindness. Treat him with love. He deserves it after going through so much pain and sadness in his life." She exclaimed.

Anissa stared at her with disbelief.

Has his life really been that bad? I knew that there could've been a reason for his personality disorder and hard behaviour but I could've never guessed this.

Breathing deeply, she let the words sink in. "Are you really his mother?" She inquired, noticing her voice was small and throaty from not using it for some time now.

"I'm his nanny. I raised him and his brother after their mother died when they were five years old." She told.

"His brother?" She asked. She hadn't seen anyone else at the wedding other then Zameer. Where was his brother? Does he not get along with his brother?

With a sad smile, Amma nodded. "Yes, his twin brother Shahzeb. He died a year ago." She told, the smile disappearing and sadness overcame her old wrinkling features.

Anissa'a felt fell upon hearing such news. Not only did she find out Shehryaar had a twin but he was dead as well. Her heart went out for Shehryaar. She was beginning to understand her husband and his psychotic ways a little now.

"Were they close?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"Very. They were inseparable. Together they were a team and stood with so much grace and authority. They were the perfect brothers. When Shahzeb died, Shehryaar changed. He's not the sweet boy that i knew him to be. Rather, he's become a man who's almost heartless. He's lost but I know he's still there. My sweet Chand is still there." She conveyed.

"That's why I'm so happy that he married you. I know that you'll bring him back. Heal his heart baita. Show him that there is still good and love in the world." She beseeched.

Anissa'a heart quivered. Not only was she feeling the pressure of her own emotions but now another burden was added on her heart-- she was to make her husband a good man. It was not only her wish but the wish of the sweet old woman who was looking at her with her soft brown gaze filled with so much hope and expectation.

"Alright, I will try my best." She said. Amma breathed a sigh of relief and nodded.

"Shukria, baita. May Allah bless you always. May Allah bless you and my Chanda." She drawled. Anissa gave her a small smile.

"Might I ask something." She started.

"Oh baita no need to be so formal. Just treat me like your Amma as well. You ask me anything." Amma exclaimed.

Anissa felt so welcome and warm around Amma. She knew that as long as she had around she'll be alright.

"Where is the rest of Shehryaar's family?" Anissa enquired.

Suddenly, Amma's smile was wiped off and her features became grave and hard. Her brown orbs became dark with fear. Anissa frowned in confusion.

"Baita, I think it's best that you not ask about his family. There is a reason why Shehryaar hasn't told you anything and it's in your best interest to not ask or learn anything about them. All I can tell you is the Ghulari family is a feudal family. They are very powerful and very dangerous. It would be better if you stay away from them." She told. There wasn't a hint of jest in her tone that had Anissa nodding her head in agreement. If this soft old lady was warning her then it was probably for good cause.

Anissa couldn't understand it though. She came from a world we're family values held high regard. For her, family was everything. Then what about Shehryaar. Did family values mean nothing to him? Did he not treasure family? If so, then what kind of life was waiting for her where family didn't matter?

"Alright." She said with a small smile.

Amma passed her hand on Anissa's head and signalled the nurse to take her away.

Once again she was left alone in the room with only the eerie silence ringing in her ears. Her heart beat was so strong and fast that she felt the blood pound and hear it loudly roaring in her ears.

The door opened and walked in Shehryaar, his strides proud and elegant. His eyes caught sight of the beauty in front of him.

I have waited a long time for her. I can't believe she's finally here, in front of me, as my wife. He thought with so much delight. His heart was beating fast, it poured and pounded on his veins as desire and ecstasy over took him.

Anissa looked like a vision dressed in red as deep as blood. Her fair skin was gleaming under the lights. Her soft brown hair shone like chocolate, so smooth and velvety. He wondered if they would feel like it as well. She was like a delicate doll,

To Shehryaar, she was like a fairy to him.

So enchanting.

So mesmerising.

Of course, he felt no need to tell her any of what he felt. He didn't know why he felt this way towards her. She was the only woman who stirred his heart like Anissa did. But he had a long way to go with her. He was fixated on breaking her.

He wanted her to be just like him-- cold and ruthless. What bothered him most about her was her sense of morality. And he wanted to get rid of that because that sense would have her attention divided and he wanted her unconditionally whether it was her attention or her presence.

***********