Chapter 9

I saw a light flashes into my eyes, it was bright. I saw Luke stands in front of me, he genuinely smiled at me. He raised both of his hands and caressed my cheeks.

I smiled at his gesture. He looked directly in my eyes and said "I promised you that I will protect you with my life, you must go on, Shayna. My love will always there for you. I've to leave"

"What do you mean? Leave? Where?"

He just smiled at me and he gently captured my lips with his. It made me closed my eyes. He broke from our kiss and slowly walked away from me.

"Luke, where are you going?"

"Luke come back"

"Luke-"

Then I woke up from my deep sleep reaching for him, gasping. I saw my parents sitting on the couch beside my bed. They look exhausted.

"Luke?? Where is Luke?" I said. My parents springs from their nap and rushed towards me.

"Honey, you are awake!" my mum said, looking relieved.

"How do you feel, sweetheart?" asked my father.

"I'm okay, what happened to me? Where is Luke?" I asked them.

My parents took a look at each other then back at me. I saw the sadness in their eyes. Almost sympathy towards me.

"What is it? Tell me, WHERE IS LUKE? MUM DAD?!" I demanded an answer.

My father broke his silence and said "Both of you went into an accident. A car hit Luke's car. You don't remember?"

'Accident?'

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my head. The incident flashes in me.

A car from the other lane lost control and hit us. Luke shielded me from the impact of the crash. I remembered the pool of blood.

I remembered Luke's eyes looked into mine, it's like he was praying for my safety.

I felt the pain on my chest, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't believe it. I refused to.

I looked at my parents and anxiously asked

"What happens after the crash?"

"You were in a coma, honey... it's been 3 days since the crash" said my mum.

"What about Luke?" I asked. My mum reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. My dad reached closer to me to comfort me. I can feel myself panicking

"I'm sorry, Shay. He didn't make it" said my dad, softly

"Wha- what do you mean?" my voice started to break

"He went into surgery. There was a complication during his surgery. He was bleeding. He's gone now" my dad explained

I felt the numbness inside me. I couldn't hear anything that my mother was saying. I knew she was comforting me. But, I was lost... I couldn't speak. I was broken...

'Why Luke? Why?'

I felt hopeless.

The exhaustion rush into me but not from the crash. The tightness inside of me hold onto me even tighter that it felt heavier than before.

When my grandmother passed away, I felt the exact same way as this.

That day, the nurses and doctor did some check up on me. I barely remember what they did or what the doctor told me.

A few hours later, I saw Shasha rushing towards me. I saw the tears in her eyes. She stopped on her tracks by my door, she looked at me in the eyes. I knew she can feel my pain.

She slowly walked to me, I felt my tears building up in my eyes. She hugged me like I was going to leave her, I finally broke into tears, so does her.

She whispered while hugging me "I'm sorry. I couldn't save you. I couldn't save Luke."

I broke our hug and said to her

"You weren't there Shasha. And I'm glad you weren't. I lost Luke... I couldn't afford to lose you too" I gave her a weak smile and hold her hand

She wiped her tears and said "I love you, Shay. And Luke. He was a brother to me"

"I know..." I said weakly and hug her.

I saw Caleb and Edward standing at my door. Caleb gave me a small wave and a weak smile. My gaze turned to Edward's. His gaze shows his concern yet soft onto mine.

The next day came, Luke's parents came to visit me at the hospital. His mum hugged me tightly and said "I'm so glad that you are okay, Shay"

I spoke up but almost like a whispered to her

"You lost a son because of me. Why are you so nice to me? I'm sorry I couldn't save him..."

She grabbed my face and looked at me and said "No, It was not your fault. God loves him more, that's why he took Luke from us. You are like a daughter to me."

Luke's dad smiled at me and said "I know my son, Shayna. He would do everything to save you. We lost Luke but there is still a piece of him in you that his mother and I can still secure in our lives."

'I don't deserve this... Why do you have to always be the hero, Luke?'

'I need you...'

I spent another couple of weeks at the hospital before being discharged by the doctor. Tomorrow is Luke's funeral. I felt the heaviness inside of me. I couldn't sleep. So, I wrote a letter to Luke.

*Luke's funeral*

There was a lot of people came to Luke's funeral. People came and offered their condolences to me and Luke's family. His aunts and uncles were hugging me and cheering me up. I faked my smile for the day.

Luke's parents, Mr and Mrs Andrews gave their final goodbye to Luke. It was my turn to say goodbye.

I took a deep breath before speaking at the memorial

"I refused to acknowledge this as a goodbye. I couldn't sleep, Luke. Lucas James Andrews, you are an incredible man I've ever met. You are my best friend, my boyfriend, and you are apart of me. I've known Luke ever since I was 4 and he was 5. He was my light after my grandmother. He is an incredible dancer and human being. I'm mad at you for leaving me but I know God loves you more. You saved me over and over again, Luke.

For better, for worse, he was there for me. I'm sorry, I know you don't want me to be in grieve. I know this is devastating for everyone who knows him.

Losing you, Luke is like losing my breath in this world. I need you more than anything and no one can replace you. Thank you for everything. Thank you to Mr and Mrs Andrews for bringing Luke into this life and into mine as well.

Rest in Peace, my love. My love for you is infinity. I love you and I miss you, baby"