Chapter 10

*A few weeks later*

My life changes after Luke passed away. I was depressed and traumatized. Sometimes I would get flashbacks of the crash, at night, I would get nightmares of the crash and Luke leaving me.

I woke up screaming for Luke.

My parents were worried about me. I was diagnosed with PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I wasn't feeling like myself at all. My parents, Shasha and even Caleb always check up on me and try to help me.

For the past weeks, I was in a deep grieve.

I lost him, the love of my life. My parents informed the school about my condition, I'm still continuing my studies but through online.

It was a lot of work but I'm willing to face it.

I'm not ready facing other people watching me with sympathy in their eyes.

I was completing my school work when Shasha texted me saying

"Hey, wanna hangout? With me and Caleb?"

I smiled weakly reading the text. Caleb asked Shasha to be his girlfriend a few days before the accident happened. I haven't been hanging out with any of them for weeks. Somehow I know and I can feel that Luke wouldn't want me to be like this. I texted her back

"Yeah sure. Rose's?"

"Yes, I'll pick you up in 30?"

"Okay"

I settled my school work for a couple of minutes then changed into something more casual. I took a look at myself in the mirror. I look different.

You can see the darker shade under my eyes. My skin was dull and seems exhausted. I took a deep breath and said to myself

"Start a new chapter, Shayna. He wants you to be happy. Enjoy your moment with your loved ones. You can do this"

I smiled at myself and decided to put on light makeup. About 10 minutes later, I heard a car honking at my house.

'That must be Shasha' I thought. I grabbed my bag and phone and went outside.

I saw Caleb's car with him and Shasha sitting on the front seat. I went inside his car and we drove away to Rose's.

We found our seat and started ordering our meal. Caleb looked at me and said, "You look good Shay, how are you feeling?"

Shasha nudged his side as if his question is offending me. I smiled at them, it was a weak smile but it was genuine

"I'm trying, it might be slow but I'm willing to try"

Shasha smiled at my words and rushed to my side and hugged me.

"It's okay, I'm glad that you are trying. I love you and I miss my best friend"

I smiled and said back

"I love you too"

We spent 30 minutes talking to each other while eating our meal. I looked around quite a lot. My mind went into Edward. I wondered where is him? I asked Shasha and Caleb

"Hey, I haven't seen Edward in a while now. Where is him?"

"Ohh, he's at New York now. He will be back tomorrow" said Caleb

"New York? What for?" I questioned Caleb

"He went with his father. His father is a businessman so he starting to show Edward around how to deal with clients and stuff" he said simply while enjoying his icecream.

I nodded.

"Shay, have you finish your manuscript?" asked Shasha

I gave her a confused look. She looked back at me surprisingly

"You know, THE ENGLISH project manuscript?" she asked

"Ohh shit, that manuscript..." I mumbled, palming my forehead

'What is happening to me? How come I forgot about this?'

Shasha hold my hand and said, calmly

"Yo relax, Mrs Lewis talked to me yesterday. She understands what you've been through. Your due date is in two weeks"

I let out a relieved breath. I looked at Caleb and Shasha and said

"You two finish up here. I got to go now."

Caleb stands up and said

"Let me drive you home. I drove you here so let me drive you back too"

He looked at Shasha and said

"Baby, I'm going to drive Shayna home. Stay here, okay"

Shasha nodded and Caleb kissed her on her cheek. He looked at me 'shall we?'. I nodded at his gesture.

On the ride to my house, it was a silenced ride. I'm not used to it because Caleb has always been a cheerful person. I've known him for 2 months but he has never been this quiet before.

I broke the silence "Shasha seems happy with you"

He glanced at me and asked, "You think so?"

I smiled and said "Caleb, I'm her best friend. I know so."

He smiled back at me "I'm happy with her. I like her a lot, Shay"

"You better do, because if you hurt her. Luke would definitely come to you and haunt you down as a ghost" I joked around at him

He laughed and said "Shasha told me about Luke. It's sad that I never got a chance to meet him. But, he sounds like a great man."

I smiled "He was, a great one", sadly

Later, we arrived at my house. Before I left Caleb's car, he looked at me and said

"Shay, I know that we just met but I want you to be happy, okay?"

I smiled at him and left his car to my house. I opened up my front door and I saw my parents arguing in the living room.

They looked at me when they heard me at the door.

"Where the hell have you been, Shayna?" asked my dad, angrily

I startled by his tone. I answered, "I was hanging out with my friends."

I saw my mum holding papers in her hands. I looked at my parents in the eyes and asked

"What's that?"

My mum looked at me, her eyes seem cold so does her voice

"Your father and I are getting divorced"

My heart dropped "Wh... What?"

"You heard your mother, Shay," said my dad, coldly

"I thought you guys are working things out?"

"Sometimes life is unfair, Shayna. Sometimes you will fail" said my dad

I felt hurt. I left the living room and went to my bedroom. I threw my bag on the bed, I wiped the tears on my face and went straight into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Mascara was smudged on my face. I was broken. I took off my clothes and went into the shower.

'Luke, I need you. Why did you leave me?'

'How come they can be so cold to me, Luke? Why??'

I was sobbing in tears. I let myself slide down while taking a shower. After the crash, my life changes. My parents fought all the time. I wasn't the same girl I used to be. I knew and I was prepared for this. The divorced.

But, when it finally hit me. I realized I wasn't ready after all. I felt defeated.

After the shower, I changed into my sleepwear and laid down on the bed. I heard a faint knock on my door. I pretended I was asleep.

"Shay, are you still awake?" it was my father's voice

I felt a weight sitting at the edges of my bed.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't do this anymore. I love your mother, but I knew I wasn't good enough for her. For you. I'm sorry" he said in a low voice almost like a whisper.

After my dad left my room, I found myself staring at the walls. I looked around the bedroom and saw the poem. 'the manuscript'

I opened my laptop, I took a deep breath and starts writing...