Temptations and Morals

Alistair's POV

Damn it.

Seeing Noir in the outfit she was wearing almost fully exposed was already torture, causing me to swell and my trousers to become uncomfortably tight. Then her dance.

Her dance.

She was basically begging me to drag her into my lap and take her in front of everyone, claiming what is rightfully mine; as much as I wanted to do that, I wouldn't publicly expose or possibly humiliate her in such a way.

"Y-you're warm," Noir stammered, running her clawed fingers down my back, scratching the exposed skin.

"Ástin mín," I growled, shifting her on my shoulder. "You need to stop before you get yourself into a situation I will not allow you to back out of."

Noir blew a raspberry as I kicked in the door to my home and stomped down the narrow corridor before reaching my quarters.

Dropping her violently on the bed, I backed away and just stared at the woman sprawled out on the furs.

Small droplets of sweat trickled down her chest, getting lost between her bosom as she heaved up and down, her belly a slightly darker color from where I was carrying her and her thighs, little streaks of blood from where my claws dug into the flesh.

Gods, this is painful.

"Alistair," Noir sighed, drawing my attention to her face.

Her beautiful hair clung to her neck and shaped her face as she stared at me from propped up elbows. "Please," she whined breathlessly.

I wanted to, Gods I wanted to but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Fighting between what morals and honor I had as the person I am but the bestial attraction towards her; I, in no way, could take her in the state she was in.

Despite the mate bond that draws one to the other by some divine given rule and right, I still wasn't sure of Noir's true feelings.

I had come to love this brash, unreasonable, hot-headed, stubborn, foul-mouthed, dense girl but I still couldn't be sure of her own feelings towards me.

This waiting to mate with Noir, it's just a self-preservation thing... because once we go there, once we are that intimate, I'll be more in love with her than I already am and I don't want the extra confirmation in her intoxicated state.

So, for my own sake, I need her to feel the same, that this is something she also truly wants, that it's more than the mate bond; that she'll keep me, that she will want me to keep her, to love her, to protect her. That's all it is.

I stayed there watching in silence but Noir never moved until the silence became too much and she began to nod off.

There it is.

Stripping down to my loincloth, I grabbed a fresh tunic and walked over to Noir, who by now, had fallen into a peaceful sleep.

Leaning over her, I removed Noir's boots and unclipped her furs, tossing them aside, eventually leaving her in her undergarments before slipping my tunic over her head and tucking her under the mounds of furs as I crawled in after her.

For the longest I admired Noir as she slept, periodically moving her hair from her face.

Noir was like the sun. She had people around her; some were so close it burned them, some were so far they were the coldest they could be because they wanted to be closer. The lucky ones were in the perfect distance to feel her warmness and live with her peacefully.

One way or another, almost all of the people that met Noir felt attracted to her. She was the brightest person you could ever meet and where this made my heart swell with pride, it also caused another emotion to stir in me I wasn't accustomed too.

Jealousy.

With her arms around my neck and a leg over my belly, Noir breathes softly in my face.

I find it adorable as I start to doze off.

However, sleep comes like the falling of an axe.

I know it must come but I fight it with everything that I have. Those defenceless hours, oblivious to my surroundings are enough to light up my whole body with fiery sparks but still, I can feel my eyes get heavier before utter blackness consumes me as I mold into the woman in my arms.

As content and happy as I am in this moment, the uneasiness of daybreak bothers me before nothing engulfs my mind and body, plummeting me into a hole of need, want and hope.

Ástin mín - My Love