Castle

The wind was blowing a gale, causing me to pull my coat even closer to my body while ensuring mouth and nose were also covered. Serana did the same thing as we stood by the small jetty, staring across the water. If the weather had been clear, the castle would have been visible in the distance. But the sheets of rain joining in with the wind, thunder and lightning resulted in the sea barely appearing through the gloom.

"What should we do?" Serana finally asked.

"I can row us across now."

"Are you sure?"

"I'd rather be dry in the castle than soaking wet under a tent."

"Okay," she stated. I heard how unsure she sounded.

"We'll be fine. Trust me."

"I do, Ragnar. Otherwise I'd never agree to this."

It was nice to hear that she trusted me so I wasted no time helping her into the boat. Once she was settled, I sat opposite her, grabbed both oars and started rowing. The wind never let up. The waves, even this close to shore, were powerful, appearing to throw us back towards where we had just departed despite my best efforts. The rain continued to lash down and I know we were both soaked to the bone. It wasn't long until I felt exhausted, glancing back every few strokes to see the castle was tantalisingly closer but still so much work left to do.

I don't know if the row across took only ten minutes or ten hours. The sky remained gloomy, low, dark clouds. Serana barely attempted conversation, her voice drowned out by the thunder in the sky and the crashing of waves around us. After a while, all I could do was groan with each stroke of the oars, the muscles in my arms burning from the exertion.

"We're nearly there!" Serana yelled. I just nodded, barely looking her way, simply concentrating on pulling the oars back again and again, like a machine. If I stopped, we probably end up back on the shore of the mainland.

I looked behind again to see the castle was now ever closer. 'Just a few more strokes and we'll hit the side of the dock.' My arms were screaming for me to stop. 'Shut up, arms!' Serana started to cheer me on, letting me know how close we were getting. Or, at least, I think she was cheering me on. Over all the other noise, I could see her mouth moving and I think she was saying 'Just a few more!'

Then a rogue wave caused our little boat to crash into the jetty and I was worried the boat was going to simply split apart and sink. Thankfully, despite one or two concerning noises and cracks, the boat remained in one piece. I leapt over the side, unashamedly cursing and yelling when my privates hit the icy cold water. Serana threw the rope at me, grabbing it and I dragged the boat onto dry land. In decent weather, I would have just tied it to the jetty but this was our only means of transportation. The thought of swimming all the way across didn't particularly appeal.

I'll admit I then took a seat on the sandy shore and stared out across the sea, ignoring the icy wind and general chill as Serana taking a seat next to me. "Tired?"

I gave her a look which caused her to smile. "Knackered," I stated.

"If we get moving, you'll have a chance to at least dry off and warm up."

She offered a hand, helping me to my feet. My legs felt absolutely fine but my arms were still burning from their exertions. I unhooked my shield which I'd strapped to my back for the row across, attaching it to my left forearm as usual. My arm didn't particularly like the weight but it was better to be safe than sorry as we skirted the edge of the island, the castle towering above us.

"The castle looks so big from down here." I gave her another look, earning another smile. "You know what I mean, Ragnar. It's big but from down here… It's even bigger."

"Size isn't everything."

She just laughed at that comment. "The entrance isn't too much further on."

The entrance had all the appearance of what must have once been a fully functioning dockyard. We had no time to wander about and figure out why it had been abandoned as we woke up a few skeletons that stalked the area. Finding such creatures outside the castle inhabited by vampires wasn't much of a surprise and we managed to handle them with a minimum of fuss. The fact they could cast magic spells was a surprise though.

"So what other delights await us inside?" I asked as we assembled at the entrance.

"I'm not sure. The fact it's secret would mean no-one from the main clan has probably been down here in… centuries, if not longer. But I'd prepare for anything to be honest."

"So what part of the castle does this door lead to?"

"The undercroft." I groaned because I knew what that meant. Or, at least, I think I did. "Don't worry, Ragnar. I'll protect you." I gave her a look as she simply smirked at me.

"That's my line!"

The darkness outside was exceeded by the lack of light once we'd closed the door behind us. Serana used a spell to provide light as we looked for a couple of torches, finally finding a couple, using fire spells to light the ends. We spent a few moments gathering our bearings and it was obvious this section of the castle was long abandoned. It was dark, silent and, I'll admit, a little scary. Not that I'd ever admit that to anyone, particularly Serana.

After walking along a dark corridor, the next doorway opened out into a larger chamber. Serana had no idea what it may have once been. But there was little time to worry about such details as animals we had since christened 'Death Hounds' rounded a corner and charged towards us. They could be right vicious bastards, using my shield to keep them at bay while swinging my sword. Serana simply used fire and I'll admit I enjoyed hearing them yelp as they burned. Add a few swings of my sword and the hounds were soon nothing but meat on the ground.

"Before you say anything, those bloody things are not dogs."

"What do you mean?" she asked, clearly surprised.

Before I could answer, there was a growl and we readied ourselves. Honestly, I thought it was another couple of hounds. Instead, a vampire rounded the corner, immediately firing a spell towards us. I raised my shield to block the attack, Serana stepping behind me. She then dodged around the other side of me and replied with a spell of her own. Not wanting to leave all the work for her, I strode forward as the vampire raised a dagger, practically screamed something intelligible then ran straight towards me.

'Bloody idiot.' The vampire wore no armour. To call them robes would have been nearly incorrect. I barely broke a sweat as I swatted away the dagger with my shield and thrust my sword forward, withdrawing it a second or two later. The vampire dropped to the ground and I simply made sure of the job with another downward thrust.

"Anything else?" I asked the now silent, empty chamber.

There was no answer. Not even Serana had a sarcastic quip. Instead, we spent a moment looking around. Serana pointed out the occasional statue, stating they were gargoyles. What I found a concern were the piles of bones dotted around the chamber, many of them appearing ancient. I wondered just how many victims there may have been and if her father was the only one responsible. The castle had clearly stood for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Who inhabited the castle before her family?

Serana led the way out of the undercroft, though it wasn't a direct route, having to circle around one or twice, pull a lever, cross a bridge more than once, fight off more Death Hounds, find even more piles of bones and fight off an enormous spider before we finally made sort of progress.

"That's why you never ask 'Anything else', Ragnar. Lesson learned?" Serana stated, sarcasm oozing from her tone. I barely grunted a reply. "Come on. The stairs to our left should lead to the courtyard."

I felt an overwhelming sense of relief as we left the creepy courtyard behind as we climbed the steps to the courtyard. I was unsure what to expect once we'd opened the door but even I didn't expect the depressing scene that greeted us. Serana brushed past me as she circled, taking in all we could see.

"Oh no…" she said sadly.

Everything was dead. It had obviously been a garden one time, a long time ago. But the colours that may have once provided a real kaleidoscope had long since disappeared. Trees were little but a trunk with branches, even the leaves having fallen to the ground, lying brown and lifeless on the ground. But it was the garden that suggested her mother, if she was still somewhere in the castle, had not tended to it in a very long time.

"What happened, mother? Father?" She then looked at me. "Something's not right, Ragnar. Everything's been torn down. The whole place looks… dead." She sighed. "I think we're the first people to set foot here in centuries." She pointed and suggested I follow, walking around a giant sundial in the ground towards the other end of the courtyard. "Hmmm…"

"What is it?"

"This used to lead into the castle's great hall. But it looks like my father had it sealed up."

"Less chance of us being found then." I was doing my best to find the positives as she was clearly upset at the state of the courtyard.

Despite the sad looked on her face, she still smiled at me. "I used to walk through here after evening meals. It was beautiful…" She sighed. "Once upon a time," she added quietly.

"What do you think happened?"

"I'd say the moment mother fled the castle, father went on a rampage. Knowing him, anything at all that reminded him of her was just destroyed."

"But to then wall off the entire courtyard and just let this place die? That's a bit extreme, isn't it?"

"I suppose he wanted to put the past behind him. Though perhaps if he had spent more time with us, he would have recognized the beauty for himself."

I was surprised when she then grabbed my hand and led me across the courtyard to what appeared to be a thoroughly dead garden. I felt the squeeze as was stopped and stared. If I didn't know her any better, I think this upset her more than anything. "This was my mother's garden," she explained before meeting my eyes again. "Do you know how beautiful something can be when it's tended by a master for hundreds of years?" I think it was a rhetorical question so I didn't say anything. She turned her attention back to the garden. "My mother would have hated to see it like this. So much love and dedication completely wasted."

I'm not sure how long we stood there. I was in no rush and was ready to give Serana as long as possible. But it was clear there was next to no life in this castle. Eventually she just turned to me, gave my hand a final squeeze. "Thanks," she said quietly.

I just smiled and nodded. She had nothing to thank me for. Gesturing towards the moondial, I followed her to and then around it, her eyes focused on the mechanism. "Something isn't right here."

"What's wrong?"

"See the crests? I didn't even know they could be removed. Maybe my mother's trying to tell us something?"

"I've never seen anything like this is in my life before. I've heard of sundials but never a moondial."

"Surely it's not such a surprise considering what we are, Ragnar."

"Well, yeah… But…" I trailed off as I didn't have a sensible argument.

She just laughed for a moment before we walked around the moondial again, Serana gesturing as she spoke. I was just glad to see some of her enthusiasm return. "As far as I'm aware, this is the only moondial in existence. Then again, I can't imagine too many vampires asking for them to be made. The previous owners of the castle had a sundial and obviously that didn't appeal to my mother. She persuaded an elven artisan to make some improvements. You can see the plates that show the phases of the moons, Masser and Secunda."

We came to a stop again. "Listen, I know how a sundial works. Sun hits that thing there and it shows the time. But I don't see how a moondial is supposed to work. I mean, the light is nowhere near as strong, the moon moves differently to the sun and there wouldn't be a shadow present to show a time…"

"Trust me, Ragnar, you're not the only one who thinks that. I always used to ask my mother; What's the point of a moondial? I always wondered why she didn't just have the whole thing ripped out. But she loved it. I guess it's like having a piece of art, if you're into that sort of thing."

"Okay, so the missing crests. What do you think that means?"

"It's got to be some sort of puzzle. That's the only thing I can think of. If we find the crests and put them where they are supposed to be, I guess… I don't know, something might happen."

"You know I hate puzzles."

"Those you find in the ruins?" I nodded. "But they're simple!"

"Not always!"

I was left wondering who had moved the crests to begin with. Was it her father? I thought that would have been unlikely as I figured he would probably have taken enjoyment in destroying it. So if it was her mother, I could only assume, just as Serana did, that it was a message of some sort. In the end, the crests were hiding in what I would have called 'plain sight', hidden enough from those she didn't want but those who knew the courtyard well, being Serana, would find them easily. Once she'd found all three of them and placed the crests where they belonged, I wasn't actually that surprised to see a secret entrance appear underneath the dial itself.

"Very clever, mother. Very clever," she stated admiringly, before looking at me, "Just so you know, I've never been in those tunnels before, but I'd bet they run right under the courtyard and into the tower ruins."

"At least we're getting closer."

She smiled again. "Exactly. Come on, let's go," she said eagerly.

"I thought I was meant to be the adventurer!"

I unsheathed my sword and led the way down, Serana following me with a torch to help light the way as our route was bathed in near darkness. It was that word again. 'Creepy. But, then again, I'm in a castle inhabited by vampires who would like me as nothing more than the next meal.' Again, it was obvious that no-one had been along these halls and through these rooms in a very long time. Spider webs covered nearly every corner or alcove while I had to resist sneezing from the amount of dust covering every other surface.

Surprising myself, I wasn't shocked or disgusted by the blood we also found. It had long since dried but stained the floor, walls and various tables and cabinets we passed. I did share the occasional glance with Serana, and she looked ready for me to say something, but I stayed quiet. I think she was grateful for that.

As we climbed, it was also clear parts of the castle were starting to crumble. While I wasn't particularly worried about the roof caving in on us, the disrepair the castle appeared to be in was a surprised. Considering this was a vampire stronghold, I would have thought the upkeep on the castle would have been of utmost importance. I simply assumed that her father was only worried about keeping a certain section of the castle sound, no doubt barricaded, and therefore left the rest of the castle to fall into ruin.

Within the ruins, we soon ran into enemies. The gargoyle statues I'd seen time and again came into life as we passed. They were tough monsters to take down, by my arm was no longer tired and was ready to swing, thrust and decapitate anything that got in our way. Knowing that any statue could suddenly burst into life, we gave them a wide berth while passing and were always ready to defend ourselves at a moment's notice. That did slow our progress, though we agreed it was better to err on the side of caution.

And, of course, where there are ruins, whether a castle, Dwarven or those of the ancient Nords, you're going to find skeletons. And there were lots of them! I had no idea how or why there were so many. Like similar enemies, they could be dangerous in packs so Serana and I simply herded them then took them out one at a time. Her magic particularly came in handy as I deflected arrows or blows of a sword, protecting Serana while dealing damage when I could. No matter what the castle could throw at us, Serana and I handled it. Not always easily, but we'd worked together as a team so often by now that we knew what the other was going to do before we'd performed the move.

Despite having originally descend through the moondial, we continued to ascend, past more traps to kill the unwary, more blood spattered floors and furniture, even more spider webs, though thankfully no giant spiders to accompany them, and more gloomy hallways.

"I bet this castle was once magnificent," I stated.

"It was. A long time ago now."

"What was it like living here?"

"For a while, we were happy. My memories of those times have dimmed, though."

"What about making new ones?"

She gave me a look that brought me a standstill, wondering if I'd said something wrong. Then she smiled. "Maybe once all this is over."

We continued to climb, leaving me wondering just how high up we now were, continuing to fight off the occasional gaggle of skeletons or gargoyle that chose to wake up as we passed. The higher we climbed, the more the castle appeared to be falling apart around us. Slightly disconcerting and leaving me wondering if the whole lot wasn't just eventually going to crumble beneath our feet.

"Dead end," I stated after climbing another set of stairs and finding the two doors did open but led nowhere. "Where to now?"

"I'm not sure. We should look around."

I finally found a chain attached to a wall behind the statue of a gargoyle. While it didn't come to life, I had a bad feeling. Months of traversing ancient ruins had made me rather cautious about pulling any sort of chain or lever. "What do you think?" I finally asked.

"I think it will open something. Pull it then retreat quickly. If it's only one gargoyle, we can handle it easily," she replied confidently.

And that's precisely what we did. I pulled the chain and stepped back just in time, the gargoyle immediately coming to life. Serana wasted no time shocking it with an attack while I assumed a defensive position, waiting for the gargoyle to come into range. I felt the collision as the gargoyle flew into me and my shield, deflecting the attack of its claws, pushing it backwards, allowing space for another attack of magic, following that up with a thrust of my sword. All that appeared to do was infuriate the gargoyle, but it was already bleeding heavily and it didn't take much longer before it was dead on the ground.

"Ragnar, over here," Serana called. I turned to see a wall had disappeared, another staircase leading upwards. We ascended again, more enemies now descending to meet us. Fighting on staircases was never easy, and you never wanted to cede the higher ground. I hated retreating but didn't particularly want to be injured or end up dead due to my own stubbornness, so backed up when I could, particularly if Serana could use her magic to clear a path.

Fighting our way through a great hall full of enemies, I came to a stop as I noticed what the hall may have once been.

"Care to explain that?" I asked, pointing at the religious statue, now part of the ruins, but a statue that I would never have expected to find.

"It probably belonged to the previous owners. I assume this was once a chapel."

"You've never been to this part of the castle?"

She shook her head. "Never. Much of my life here was spent either in the courtyard or rooms nearby."

We ended up circling back on ourselves at least twice and practically lost for a time, leaving both of us annoyed. Not at each other, but we only had one torch and most corridors and rooms all looked the same. We finally found another stairway leading up, figuring it was the only way forward and ended up in another room. Where an untouched skeleton was lying on a table. I looked at Serana again. She could only shrug her shoulders. "I have no idea," she added to her gesture.

The climbing continued until we arrived at what I thought may have once been a balcony. Ahead was a set of double doors, to each side a brazier, within each a fire. I was confident we would find whatever we were looking for on the other side of the doors. So was Serana. So we were both disappointed to simply find at least a dozen gargoyle statues and vampire coffins in the distance.

"Get ready!" I warned.

Only three of the gargoyles woke up but they were tougher enemies than we'd faced down before, appearing taller, stronger and a simple swing of my sword didn't leave them dead on the ground. The swings of their claws forced me to step back quickly while my arm started to ache when they collided with my shield. Mostly I just wanted to keep them away from Serana, ensuring I kept myself between her and them.

I finally managed to take one of the monsters down, Serana calling to me that we could take one each if I wanted. I simply said I'd work as fast as possible and followed through on my statement, beating the gargoyle in front of me with my shield, causing to shriek and lashing out with my sword, the steel blade cutting across its throat.

Turning before it had even hit the ground, I noticed last gargoyle closing in on Serana. With the creature distracted, it allowed me to sneak up on it, thrusting my sword practically through its spine, the tip of my sword bursting through its chest. I heard Serena make a disgusted noise as I withdrew my now thoroughly bloodied sword and the last gargoyle collapsed to the ground.

"Impressive, Ragnar."

I just smirked. "I'm glad I can still impress you."

"I've seen you in action often enough. I think you get better after each battle."

I think I blushed. "Er… Thanks…"

It was another dead end so we had to search again. I found Serana crouching in front of the fireplace, holding her hand close to the pile of logs, though there was no fire. She noticed the looked I gave her. "I can feel air coming through from somewhere. There must be a secret passage." I put my hand in the same place as hers and agreed, finding that a nearby candlestick was a lever to open a secret door.

"Leave it to my mother. Always smarter than I gave her credit for."

"Has she done all this because of your father?"

"Oh, absolutely no doubt. But I guess she thought I'd always figure it out if I woke up before she could come find me."

We climbed the stairs, constantly turning left, and I figured we must be now high in the castle, perhaps even near the very top. The final door opened to reveal what could have once been considered a grand laboratory, though it was clear it had long been abandoned, in the same state as the rest of the castle we'd just travelled through except the roof was still in one place. Serana brushed past and walked into the centre of the room, spinning as she did so, taking everything in.

"Look at this place. This has to be it! I knew she was deep into necromancy. I mean, she taught me everything I know. But I had no idea she had a setup like this. Look at all this! She must have spent years collecting these components." She finally stopped and walked in a circle in the centre of the room before looking at me. "And what's this thing?"

It was an apt question as she wandered around a series of circular indentations on the floor. She looked at me again and all I could do was shrug. I didn't know her mother and wouldn't have a clue what she may have been interested in. Serana circled a couple of times, talking to herself and I think to me… "I'm not sure about this circle, Ragnar, but it's obviously...something." She looked up at me again. "Let's take a look around. There has to be something here that tells us where she's gone."

"Did she ever keep some sort of diary or journal?"

She nodded. "Definitely. If we can find something like that, it may give us a clue. Or simply tell us what she was doing or where she currently is. But if she doesn't have anything like that, she'll definitely have lots of research notes somewhere. I just hope they're still legible after all this time."

"But where could she have gone?"

It was time for her to shrug. "To be honest, if she isn't in the castle, I have no idea where she could have gone. Or, at least, no realistic idea."

As we searched, we continued to chat as this was another window into the life of Serana and her family. I'd met her father, only the once, but it was enough to gain an idea of what he was like. I still wondered about her mother. "I've never seen any sort of laboratory like this before," I stated as I wandered past numerous shelves of alchemical ingredients.

"I'll be honest, Ragnar. I had no idea that this laboratory even existed. She had an alchemy setup in her drawing room, but nothing that even comes close to what's here."

"Can I ask what she may have been researching? Do you know what she may have been interested in? That may help us figure all this out."

She stopped and looked around. "Well… Looking at the equipment and materials, it looks like she was trying to advance her necromancy."

"That's the second time you've mentioned necromancy. Why would she have any interest in that? Or yourself, for that matter?"

I knew her well enough to see she was actually embarrassed by my question. Or it may have been the answer. She shrugged. "Honestly, I really don't know, Ragnar. Obviously not for longevity. Kind of a waste of time for a vampire."

"And your own interest in it?"

"I know it as necromancy, as do many others. The College call it conjuration. The only difference between the two is necromancy does relate to the summoning of dead creatures, specifically humans."

"I've never seen you use any skills like that around me?"

She stopped and looked at me. "I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that around you," she said quietly.

"Oh… Why?" She looked embarrassed then just shrugged again. I just smiled. "Don't worry about it."

Having embarrassed her twice in short succession, I shut up and simply searched for anything that would point us in the right direction. I eventually found a desk covered in all sorts of paperwork, much of it faded, though a cursory check of the drawers found what I figured we were looking for. I read the notes but didn't particularly understand a lot of what I was reading so simply called out for Serana, handing her the journal to read instead. I watched her soak in her mother's words twice before she looked at me expectantly, knowing I'd have a few questions.

"What's a soul cairn?" I asked.

"I only know what she told me. She had a theory about soul gems. That the souls inside of them don't just vanish when they're used. They end up in the Soul Cairn."

I didn't particularly understand and I guess my face reflected it. Serana didn't think I was an idiot, or at least I don't think she did, despite my own ideas that I was sometimes a massive idiot, but she knew there were things out there beyond my understanding. So she smiled, placing a hand gently on my forearm. "I'll explain it as best I can, Ragnar. The Soul Cairn is home to very powerful beings. Necromancers send them souls, and receive powers of their own in return. My mother spent a lot of time trying to contact them directly as she wanted to travel to the Soul Cairn itself."

"Why?"

"Power. Not for her own uses. This journal suggests that she wanted to stop my father from trying to fulfil the prophecy." We looked back down to the floor and the circle in the middle of the room. "That circle is definitely some type of portal."

I smirked. "Know all about those. That's how I got to Sovngarde."

"This one is a little bit different, Ragnar. If I'm reading this right, there's a formula here that should give us safe passage into the Soul Cairn."

"Is the stuff for this formula in here?"

"It should be. Let's see… We're going to need a handful of soul gem shards, some finely-ground bone meal, a good bit of purified void salts and…" She trailed off and sighed. "Damn it," she muttered in clear frustration.

"Something wrong?"

"We're also going to need a sample of her blood. But if we could get that, we wouldn't even be trying to do this in the first place."

"Um, you're her daughter. You share the same blood, right?"

A smile lit up her face before she leaned across and kissed my cheek. "You're a genius."

Now I know I blushed. Then I cleared my throat. "Well…"

"It should work. Don't worry about it. Well… I hope it works anyway. Mistakes with these kinds of portals can be... gruesome."

I know I gave her a look as she laughed. "I don't want to know," I added.

We wandered around the laboratory, looking for the listed ingredients. I found a bowl of what I think was bone meal and also some shards which I believe were the soul gem shards. I took them back to Serana, who was now standing next to some sort of vessel on a ledge about the circle below. I handed her the ingredients which she placed into a large bowl. Once everything was ready, all she needed to do was add her blood. Our eyes met and it was the first time I saw any nerves from her.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not entirely sure what this thing is going to do when I add my blood."

"We'll be fine," I stated confidently.

That seemed to ease any internal concerns she had as she grabbed a dagger and cut her left hand, balling it into a fist and adding her own blood to the ingredients. We both then turned and watch as the floor began to move, we were both blinded by bright light and the portal just… appeared.

"By the blood of my ancestors, she actually did it, Ragnar. My mother created a portal to the Soul Cairn. Incredible," she stated in a hushed voice.

I unsheathed my sword and, with a nod from Serana, led the way down the steps. That… was a mistake. I have no idea what actually happened. All I do know is that I saw stars and my body was absolutely wracked with pain, opening my eyes to see Serana crouched over me, concern etched across her face. I looked left and right to see I was still in the laboratory.

"Are you alright? That looked painful."

"Hurt like buggery." I groaned as Serana offered her hand, helping me to my feet. I took a moment to catch my breath. "Okay, so clearly I can't enter the Soul Cairn."

I noticed she looked unsure. "I should have expected that. Sorry."

"Sorry for what? It's not your fault. We're not exactly dealing with the everyday here."

"Thanks… But, well, it's hard to describe. I'll try and put it as simply as possible. The Soul Cairn is hungry, for lack of a better word. It's trying to take your life essence as payment."

"Ah… So I'm guessing it won't let me in regarding my current, very alive state."

"No. But where there's a will, there's a way. There might be a solution to this problem but…" She trailed off, looking unsure again, not even able to meet my eyes.

"But what, Serana?"

She met my eyes. "I don't think you're going to like it, Ragnar. You see, vampires like myself aren't counted among the living. I could probably go through there without a problem."

"Oh…"

"Not your first choice?" I shrugged. I'll be honest, I absolutely did not want to become a vampire. But I also didn't want to offend her. Serana being a vampire I could handle. Myself being one? Not so much. I'd already cured myself of lycanthropy. I didn't want to add vampirism to that. "There might be another way."

"I'm open to any other idea you may have."

"We could just "pay the toll" another way. It wants a soul, so we give it exactly what it wants." She paused and took a breath. "We give it yours."

"Um, won't that kill me?"

"My mother taught me a trick or two and I'm certainly adept at necromancy. I could partially soul trap you, and offer that gem to the Ideal Masters. It might be enough to satisfy them. It would make you a bit weaker when we travel through the Soul Cairn, but we might be able to fix that once we're inside. Maybe." She shrugged. "I really don't know."

"Not the greatest pair of options," I stated, I'll admit a little glumly.

She grabbed my hand again. "I'm sorry, Ragnar. I wish I knew a better way, something that would be easier for you." I returned a smile as she meant every word. I just… knew. "Just know that whatever path you choose, I won't think any less of you. Sometimes things just have to be done. I know that better than anybody."

I wonder what she meant by those last few words but this wasn't the time or place to delve into them. What I knew is that I definitely didn't want to become a vampire. If there was a cure out there, I certainly didn't know about it. I'd never even spoken of such a thing with Serana before so wasn't sure if she knew of a cure. I had no idea what soul trapping would actually do to me, but out of the two options I had, it was the only one I would even consider.

"Soul trap me please."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I tried to appear confident, almost reassuring her I was fine with the idea. To be honest, I wasn't. Never would be. But we had to find her mother. We had to retrieve the Scroll. That was all that mattered.

She grabbed my hand again. "I know this is difficult for you, Ragnar. I hope you trust me. I'd never do anything that could hurt you."

"Of course I trust you."

"It's just that… Well… With everything…"

I knew she was going to start rambling, clearly worried about this as I was, probably even more because of the fact we were delving into the dark arts. I did the only thing I could think of.

I pulled her closer and kissed her. Unlike the one outside Cidhna Mine, I wasn't being pulled in the opposite direction, turning towards her and wrapping my other arm around her waist. Thankfully, she responded, at least for a few seconds before we broke apart. She looked surprised and… Then she smiled, to my utter relief, not letting that reflect on my face, of course.

"I trust you more than anyone. Okay?"

"Okay," she said quietly. She took a step back and took a deep breath. "I promise to make this as painless as possible. Hold still."

Light emanated from her palm and then she appeared to throw some sort of spell at me. I didn't feel anything nor notice any difference once she said the spell had taken effect. Eager to get a move on, I gestured to the portal and, with weapon in hand once again, we descended into the Soul Cairn.